


The Bodyguard

by bourbon



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Andrew is in deNEIL, Bodyguard!Andrew, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, M/M, Neil has a stalker, Pining, Slow Burn, exy player!Neil, hahaha get it, the other 20 percent are height jokes, this fic consists to 80 percent of sassy banter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2018-09-15 02:57:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 48,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9215633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bourbon/pseuds/bourbon
Summary: “Hello, you’ve reached the homosexual agenda, how may I help you?”“Nicky.”, Andrew growled.“Oh, my favorite cousin! I would ask you to join our cause but it seems you already did.”_______Or where Neil hires Andrew as a bodyguard but ends up (fake) dating him instead.





	1. Run to you

**Author's Note:**

> Ladies and Gentlemen,  
> may I present to you the fake dating!AU nobody asked for!  
> Step closer and have a look! You’ll see snark, sass and pining!  
> But be cautious since this is an Alternative Universe where Neil didn’t go to Palmetto but made it pro anyways and is now on the same team with Matt!  
> That’s right, my dear readers! Foxes will make their appearances!  
> Get ready for Comedy! Drama! Aaaand Violence! (idk about the violence part actually but with the canon who am i kidding, there will be blood) 
> 
> (On a side note I’m not US-american (or a native english speaker for the matter) and I’ve only been there for like two weeks on holidays ten years ago. idk shit about actually living there so all my knowledge is out of books, movies and social media. Please let me know when something is wrong. )
> 
> A big shoutout to my autocorrect that can’t decide whether or not ‘Neil’ is misspelled.
> 
> An even bigger shoutout to my lovely bro (lovelyluzifer,how do u link someone ugh) for beta reading at ass o'clock because I'm a baby and can't wait.

"I'm fine.", Neil repeated for what felt like the hundredth time. "I really am.", he added defensively after he saw the look on Matt's face. He’d seen a lot of that expression lately.

"Sure you are.", Matt answered taking a turn to the right eyes fixed on the road. He didn’t sound like he believed Neil but was too tired to argue with him anymore. Well, there had been more than one angry argument since they left Matt’s flat this morning. It had taken Matt half an hour to convince Neil to get into the taxi to the airport. And then another forty minutes to coax him into to getting on the plane to South Carolina. That didn’t mean that Neil agreed to whatever Matt’s great plan was. Not that Matt was giving him any details.

"I'm handling it.", Neil said again trying not to sound like a three year old having a temper tantrum. He didn’t give in the urge to cross his arm in front of his chest. His hands were sweating so he wiped them against his faded jeans. He would have felt a lot more comfortable if Matt had told him where they were going instead of you saying 'You’ll see'. He didn’t quite get why they had to fly across the country. But his teammate probably thought that he would take off in a sprint if he knew where they were going exactly. Neil was getting tired of being treated like a feral animal that would run if someone moved too quickly. Then again he did still freeze when their coach came up from behind to clap him on the shoulder after a good game. Some habits sat too deep to lose them even after several years of safety. Well,if you could call what he had now safety.

They stopped at a gas station after half an hour of their drive. Neil raised an eyebrow at that but figured that Matt was either hungry or in the need of a coffee. Instead Matt turned to him, his expression weirdly serious. It wasn’t often that Matt looked like that and it wasn’t a good sign.

“I’m going to do the talking while you will stand there and try not to offend anyone with your sheer presence.”

Neil scoffed. “How would I offend anyo-”

“Neil.”, Matt interrupted him. “I stood next to you on the post-game interview last friday.”

“Why did I have to come along then?”, Neil changed the topic knowing when it was time to retreat. Matt was looking conflicted again.

“He won’t make a deal with someone he hasn’t met.”

“Who is-?”, Neil tried to ask but Matt was already out of his seat and closing the driver’s door behind him. He got out of the car as quickly as possible and jogged around the hood to catch up.

The gas station was empty except for three other cars. It didn’t take Neil long to figure out to which one they were heading towards.

It was a black sports car that looked about as expensive as Neil’s entire apartment. A guy who seemed to be even smaller than him was leaning against the side of it smoking a cigarette. He should have looked ridiculous. Five feet tall in an all black attire with matching wristbands and a bored expression on his face. But he didn’t. In fact every single alarm bell in Neil’s head was ringing and his feet itched to take off.

"Thanks for meeting us, Minyard.", Matt said respectfully when they were in hearing range. It was weird seeing Matt intimidated by someone who was over a head smaller than him. The guy stopped smoking for a moment to eye Matt and then his gaze swept over to Neil. Neil found himself standing perfectly still even though he could hear his heartbeat in his ears.

"You'll owe me.”, Minyard finally said. The look on Matt's face was grim but he nodded anyways.

“We want to make a deal with you.”, Matt said. “Like you did with Kevin.”

That caught Neil by surprise. Sure, he had known that Matt had played in the same university team as Kevin Day. That might or might not have not been the only reason why he had bothered to talk with Matt when he first joined the team. Even after fifteen years he still couldn’t help but envy everyone who got to play with Kevin. But that the small guy in front of him had made a deal with Kevin? He could recall that there had been two Minyards in the team. Which one of them stood in front of them, he had no idea. The Minyard who had played as a goalkeeper had been good enough to make it pro. As far as Neil knew he had decided against it though.

Minyard showed no reaction and kept staring at Matt. Neil couldn’t help but twitch and shift his weight from one leg to the other. Matt on the other hand stared right back.

“Please.”, Matt asked. Minyard let his cigarette fall to the floor and crushed it with his sneaker.

“I don’t like that word.”, he answered. “Say it again and the deal’s off.”

“So you’re gonna do it?”

Instead of answering the question Minyard pushed off from the side of the car and opened the driver’s door. “Follow me.”

Matt nodded and made his way back to the rental car. When Neil turned to follow Matt he heard Minyard clicking his tongue. “Not you. You ride with me.”

Neil turned back to confirm that it was actually him he was addressing which made the blonde raise an eyebrow. Every survival instinct he had told him to run but Neil still got into the expensive sports car after nodding to Matt.

After he put his seat belt on Neil rested his hands on his knees and tried not to fidget too much. To his relief Minyard ignored him as he turned the keys and the car sprang to live.

Neil took a look in the back mirror to see if Matt was following them. It turned out to be the wrong thing to do because Minyard broke the silence.

“Scared that I’ll kidnap you?” Neither his voice nor his facial expression gave away if he made a joke or if it was a serious question. Somehow it was hard to imagine Minyard cracking jokes though. Neil shook his head followed by a faint 'no' after he realised that Minyard’s eyes were still on the road. The man next to him hummed in response.

“You’re stupid, then. Didn’t your mother teach you not to get into cars with strangers?”

Neil said nothing knowing that opening his mouth would only get him in trouble. Minyard didn’t say anything else for the rest of the drive and Neil didn’t make the mistake of looking into the back mirror again. The blonde parked behind a family diner called Sweetie’s. Before Neil could even take off his seat belt the car doors locked down. Neil turned to Minyard to find the man studying him with an unreadable look on his face.

“What are you running away from?”, he asked. No, asked was the wrong word. Demanded.

“Nothing.”, Neil said making sure to look Minyard in the eyes. The first trick to spot a liar was to see if they looked you in the eyes or not. Neil had left that amateur level of lying behind him years ago. After a moment the car door clicked and he hurried out of the car.

Matt was still looking for a free parking spot but Minyard was already at the door to the diner. Before Neil could make the decision if he would wait for Matt or follow Minyard inside, the blonde called out for him again in his dry tone of voice.

“I’m not gonna eat you.” It sounded almost mocking. Neil ground his teeth and followed Minyard inside without a word.

It was obvious that the other man had been here before, was a regular even. He went straight to the salad bar and grabbed a handful crackers before picking a table in a corner. From there you had a view over the whole room including the door. He would have chosen the table himself, Neil realised as he scanned the restaurant for potential escape routes.

When Neil wanted to slide into the booth at the wall Minyard clicked his tongue again and shook his head. “You’re sitting there.”, he said and pointed to the seat across. The seat from which your back was exposed to the whole room and you had no idea what was going on. Neil was glad that they hadn’t ordered yet or he would have stabbed Minyard with a fork. Before Neil could pick a fight with the other man Matt showed up next to them.

“Sorry, couldn’t find a free spot.”, he said and sat down in the spot where Neil was supposed to sit. Feeling somewhat smug Neil turned back to Minyard who narrowed his eyes a little. “Sit somewhere else, Boyd.”

Looking somewhat confused but used to Minyard’s antics Matt moved his seat. Minyard sat in the booth at the wall, leaving Neil no other choice but sit across from the blonde. It was irrational but for Neil it was like he could feel eyes on his back. That was why he never choose to sit facing the wall.

Minyard ripped several of the cracker packages open and started eating them with a bored expression on his face. Neil had the suspicion that Minyard was making fun of them but kept it to himself. He still wasn’t sure what kind of deal Matt wanted to make with Minyard. Sure, the guy had a rather impressive bizeps but that didn’t mean he could handle the mess Neil was in. Resigned Neil took one of the plastic welded menus and tried to focus on the selection of burgers. He did his best ignoring Minyard’s intense stare.

They sat in silence until the waitress came for their orders. Matt ordered a burger with a side of fries along with a milkshake, mouthing ‘cheat day’ at Neil’s disapproving look. Minyard who -despite having spent the last minutes snacking the crackers- hadn't finished them all and crushed the rest of them in his hand. He put them along with the plastic wraps into the waitress’ apron. The woman didn’t even bat an eyelash and asked if Andrew wanted his usual. Minyard nodded and then pointed at Neil. “The same for him.”

The waitress nodded and went back to the kitchen while Neil tried to think of reasons why he shouldn't leave. Their flight back wasn’t until late in the evening. Matt had the keys to the rental car.

Neil shot Matt a look. Matt shrugged. As it seemed they had to wait for Minyard to start the conversation again. Neil wondered what happened between the two of them that made Matt so careful about their interactions. So the silence extended until the waitress came back with their food. Minyard’s ‘usual’ turned out to be a huge sundae with a milkshake on the side. Neil wrinkled his nose when the she put one in front of him but he met Minyard’s eyes over the ice cream. He grabbed his spoon and took a giant scoop instead of giving the other the satisfaction of winning whatever game they were playing currently.

Minyard’s attention went back to Matt who was wolfing down his burger like there was no tomorrow. From what he had gathered in the last few months, Matt and the team’s nutritionist had some kind of civil war going on. Apparently the nutritionist had Dan on his side since last month.

Minyard fished something out of the napkins the waitress had dumped on the table and waved it in front of Matt’s nose.

“Want one? It’s one the house.”

Matt froze mid-movement, his gaze fixed on the tiny plastic bag. It only lasted for a moment though. After a blink he was biting in his burger, his eyes on Minyard, not on the package as he shook his head carefully. “I’ve been clean since Columbia, Andrew.”

So this was Andrew. Neil tried to remember if Andrew had been a backliner or the goalkeeper. But both of the Minyard twins started with an A and Neil had only looked up their names to see who Kevin was playing with. Andrew’s gaze lingered on Matt for some more. Matt continued eating his burger unfazed and moved on to his fries after he finished. Then he turned to Neil who said 'No' before Andrew could even open his mouth.

“How boring.” , Andrew commented before ripping open two of the packages and chucking the content -some kind of drugs- down. Neil barely resisted sticking out his tongue. All he wanted to do was to leave and never see that asshole in front of him again. But said asshole had other plans. After taking a sip from his milkshake he finally seemed ready to talk.

“What do you want?”

Instead of repeating what he had said before Matt said: “Protection.”

“Why?”

“Because Neil needs it.”

Andrew’s gaze fell back to Neil who did his best not to look away.

“Why not hire an actual body guard?”

Matt also glanced at Neil who was fighting against the urge to run away from this conversation. Away from everything. If he made it to the airport within two hours he could be in Canada before noon tomorrow. He took a deep breath. No, he told himself. Running was not an option. At least for now. The Moriyamas had made it clear that running would only mean his death. So if he wanted to run than he had to prepare better than this.

Still, he felt his skin crawling when he thought about the state his apartment had been in when he had come home after his morning run yesterday.

“We need someone who can’t be bought with money.”, Matt answered. Andrew hummed at that, glancing between the two of them.

“And why is that?” When Matt opened his mouth Andrew shushed him. “No, the question was not for you.”

Neil who had barely said more than a few words since meeting the blonde man in front of his swallowed nervously before answering. “I have a stalker.”

Andrew seemed to be waiting for a longer explanation. Neil refused to say more knowing that it would only get him in trouble. “The stalker bought the portier and at least four other people to track down Neil’s daily schedule. A bodyguard would mean nothing if he could be bought by someone with a higher bid.”, Matt explained.

Andrew smiled. It wasn’t a nice smile not even a comforting one. He looked like a predator that was about to eat his prey alive.

“Don’t do that again, Boyd.”, he warned. “I still don’t see why you don’t just go to the police.”

“No police.”, Neil said quickly. Too quickly judging by the look on Andrew’s face. But to his surprise Andrew moved on.

“How long has this been going on?”

“A few weeks.”, Matt answered at the same time Neil said: “Half a year.”

Matt looked like he was going to faint. He also seemed to have forgotten about Andrew’s presence or else he wouldn’t have asked: “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Neil shrugged. “I was handling it.”

“And that worked out so well.”, Andrew commented and stared back unimpressed when Neil gave him a dark look. Then the blonde continued eating his ice cream. Neil tried not to show his disgust too obviously. He never particularly liked sweet things and the sticky tooth rotting flavor of ice cream was making him nauseous. His own ice cream stood in front of him melting. He didn’t think that they sold anything in the diner that would fit in his diet. It was probably for the best that he didn’t eat anything here.

After Andrew had finished both his and Neil’s sundae he asked.

“When are you flying back?”

There was only a short moment of hesitation before Matt answered.

“Around eight pm.”

Andrew glanced at his phone to check the time. “Text me the address and I should be there around the same time as you if the traffic is okay.”

Both Neil and Matt are too perplex to do anything but stare. “You’re actually gonna do it?”, Matt couldn’t help but ask. Andrew raised an eyebrow.

“Only if you’re willing to pay the price.”

Matt had mentioned a deal and Neil wasn’t sure if he was going to like it.

“What do you want?”

“The truth.”, Andrew answered looking at Neil. The blood in his veins ran cold. It had gotten with the years. On some days he didn’t even remember that his name wasn’t actually Neil since he had lived as Neil Josten for so long.

“I can’t.”

“If you don’t stop lying to me there will be no deal.”

That was easier. Not lying wasn’t the same thing as telling the truth. There was more room to negotiate. He wouldn’t tell Andrew about his past but he wouldn’t lie about it. Not too much anyways. He nodded, not trusting his mouth in this moment.

“Deal.”, Matt said in his case looking relieved. Andrew stood up and turned to leave before reconsidering it.

“And I will get paid.”, he clarified. “You’re not my charity project.”

They stayed in their seats for ten more minutes still too shocked to move on just yet. Even though it had been Matt’s idea in first place he looked more surprised than Neil.

“Is he really going to drive the whole way to Indianapolis?” , Neil asked finally after they paid the bill and went back to the rental car. They still had several hours to kill until they had to get back to the airport. They hadn’t decided where to drive but Matt had promised to look something up on his smartphone. Right now he was texting his wife. Something about winning a bet.

“You heard him.”, Matt shrugged not looking up from his phone. “Andrew never lies. Ah, it seems there is a gym nearby.”

The prospect of running - and even if it was only on a treadmill- took off some of the tension neil didn’t know he had. Then he remembered that he only carried his passport, wallet and his keys with him.

“But we don’t have any clothes to work out in.”

“Then it seems like we have to go shopping before.”, Matt grinned as he started the car.

 

 

 

Neil wasn’t sure what he had expected. A part of him had hoped that Andrew wouldn’t show up. Matt had been certain that Andrew wouldn’t break his word. Neil didn’t believe that someone would drive nine hours like that without a break. He would need to stop and rest somewhere along the way at least. He was proven wrong when the taxi pulled up to his apartment and Andrew was leaning against his car as if he'd been there all day.

“I can come up if you want to.”, Matt offered quietly next to him but Neil shook his head.

“I’m fine.”, he said and got out of the car before Matt had the chance to say anything else.

“You’re late.” , Andrew greeted him and Neil sighed before fishing his keys out of his pocket and opening the door for them.


	2. It's Gonna Be a Lovely Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Neil says more than five words and everyone is reminded why that's a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, a big thank you to everyone who left kudos or/and took the time to write a comment. It’s been three years since I last published fanfiction and I’m so happy for every feedback I get!   
> Thanks again to my lovely bro for beta reading and listening to my whining all day long. 
> 
> I hope you’ll enjoy the new chapter because I had the time of my life writing this one. Like literally. I wrote nearly 2k of the chapter on a train and the older couple next to me kept glancing at me because I was laughing at my laptop. Sadly real life (friends from abroad visiting, volunteer camp and EXAMS) is taking over right now so I can’t promise a chapter next week or the week after it but I’m already 2,5k into chapter 3 so it won’t be forever!  
> I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT MY FAVORITE SCENE IS ALREADY HAPPENING IN CHAPTER TWO. I AM SO HYPED, ARE YOU HYPED??

Andrew woke up because the sun shone in his face. For a moment he was annoyed with himself for not closing the goddamn blinds before going to bed until he registered that he was in fact not in his bedroom in Columbia. His body froze for a second before he grabbed for his knives which were thankfully were they were supposed to be. Another moment passed before he remembered his new job.

Bodyguard for an exy player, Andrew really should make a career out of this. Maybe this one would be more interesting than Kevin who only went on about exy and how Andrew was wasting his talent. Or drank himself nearly into a coma and went on about what Riko would do to him when he went back.

He hadn’t had much time to find out anything about his new protogé yet. After leaving Sweetie’s he had only quickly stopped at his house to throw his stuff in a travel bag. He drove for nearly ten hours all the way to Indianapolis only stopping for filling up the gas tank and to get himself some coffee. Of course he could have taken his time when driving. His exhaustion had been worth it when he saw Josten’s surprised face that he had actually made it before them. Not that he had spent any time thinking about Josten’s stupid face. He had been too tired yesterday do more than ask Josten to show him the guest room and then collapse on the bed. He was even still in his jeans.

Andrew rolled on his back to make it easier to fish his phone out of his pocket to check the time. Unfortunately he should have charged it overnight because his battery was dead. With a sigh he got out of his bed and looked through his bag for the charger. Once he had plugged his phone in he changed into a more comfortable outfit and left his new room.

After a short trip to the bathroom he decided to look for Josten to get him to make him breakfast. He was hungry and craving some pancakes.

“Josten.”, he called out, raising his voice slightly since the apartment was rather big. Playing exy seemed to pay well. He spent a moment wondering if it would have been the same for him. If he had accepted the offers he got after graduating from Palmetto but he shoved the thought away. “For fucks sake, Josten. Get your lazy ass in the kitchen!”

Silence. Andrew tried to remember one of Bee’s breathing exercises that were supposed to help when he felt like punching something. He settled for deeply breathing in and out several times before calling out for the idiot again.

“Don’t you fucking dare to ignore me, you stupid little shit!”

No Neil tumbling into the kitchen and apologizing for being a terrible host. He waited another ten seconds before systematically checking every room. He knocked on the first two doors before entering but then got too annoyed about Josten still not being there. So he started opening the doors without any forewarning. After two minutes checking every room in the apartment Andrew had to realise that there was no Neil Josten there.

 _Good job, Minyard,_ he told himself. _You didn’t even manage to protect Josten for twenty four hours. That should be a new record for fucking things up._

He really shouldn’t have driven all the way in one go. He had been too exhausted to even check the apartment yesterday night. Thought that it could wait until the morning. Apparently it couldn’t.

Andrew went back to his room to grab his car keys and his phone. He unlocked the phone and his finger hovered over the dial button. He thought about the best way to explain to Boyd why his teammate got abducted during his first day as bodyguard when he heard the front door open.

Within a few seconds he was back in the hallway, standing in front of a sweating and out of breath Neil Josten. His hair was even curlier than the day before. His dark grey shirt was soaked with sweat, clinging onto his torso and showing the muscles that were lying underneath. Andrew tore his eyes away from the narrow hips and the tight running shorts.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to grab Josten under his chin to pull him closer and kiss him breathless or to bang his head against the wall because he was the dumbest airhead in existence.

“Care to share why you thought it’s a good idea to go out jogging without telling me when there is a stalker waiting for a chance to get to you?” , he said his voice forcefully quiet. Josten had the guts to wrinkle his nose and look annoyed.

“I told you I’m handling it.” Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

“And yet here I am.”, Andrew countered. “ Do tell me, what were you planning to do if someone came after you? Insult them?”

Andrew didn’t know why he was so mad at Josten. So the idiot had been out on a run. Since he had made it back without an issue Andrew shouldn’t be fuming with anger.

“They won’t do anything to me in broad daylight.”, Josten said simply. Bang his head against the wall, Andrew realised. He really wanted to smash Josten’s head right now.

“Oh, they won’t?”, he asked in a mocking voice stepping closer. His fingers itched to reach under his wristbands for his knives. Maybe fear could teach the idiot something since he appeared to be lacking common sense. “Did they tell you that or how do you know?”

“Fuck off, Minyard.” Andrew ignored him stepping even closer. Neil stepped back.

“What are you going to do now? Continue to insult me?” He didn’t know how he ended up pressing Josten against a wall. But there they were.

“I told you to fuck off.” Josten scowled at him. He was taller than Andrew but not by much. It was still annoying to look up.

“And I’m telling you to quit being stupid.”

There were a number of ways this situation could work out. _Option A_ , Josten realising that he was a dumb idiot and promising not to do stupid things anymore. Not very likely considering the angry scowl on Josten’s face. _Option B_ , angry screaming at each other until one of them gave in. Appeared to be the most likely outcome. Andrew wanted to state for the record that it wouldn’t be him that would give in in the end. He was not the stupid one. _Option C,_ angry making out against a wall. Andrew wouldn’t be too opposed by that.

What Andrew didn’t expect was that there was an _Option D_ in which Neil kneed him in the balls and then stormed out of the apartment.

To say that Neil was angry was an understatement. He was fucking furious. All he had wanted to do was to take a shower after his morning run but instead he got into a fight. The only reason why he agreed to Matt’s shitty plan was so that he didn’t have to worry about coming back to his apartment. Stopping in front of another apartment door he finally caught his breath. Then he pressed the doorbell a few times and waited.

“I can’t do this.”, he greeted Matt who opened the door looking still half asleep. Without any hair product Matt's hair was falling down his forehead. He pushed himself through the space between the door and Matt. Since he had been at Matt’s apartment sometimes before he knew where to go. “I want him out of my apartment as soon as possible. Call him or drag him out of there yourself, I don’t care. I’m not setting a foot back in my apartment until he’s gone.”, he said over his shoulder on his way to the kitchen. He really needed to drink something after his run.

Matt who wasn’t particularly awake this sunday morning at nine a.m closed the door. He rubbed his face before following Neil into the kitchen. “Freaking Allison.”, he muttered under his breath as Neil was filling a glass with tap water.

“Who is Allison?”, Neil asked confused enough to forget his anger for a second. The nickname of Matt’s wife was Dan. And as far as he knew Dan was not the short version of Allison. Matt put the coffee maker on before answering.

“She’s a former teammate. From university. She said Andrew wouldn’t even last a whole day and now I owe her a hundred bucks.”, he explained. “Fuck. What did he do this time?”

It should be worrying that Matt didn’t even sound surprised. But then again they were talking about fucking Minyard. “Did he try to stab you? Or- did he drug you?”

Leaning forward Matt narrowed his eyes. Neil blinked in surprise. “Nah, your pupils seem fine.”

Neil was too overwhelmed to be mad at Matt (hah) for betting on stupid shit again. Betting on everything was a very annoying habit but Matt’s reaction was far too weird.

“Who the fuck is that guy even? Wait, did he actually drug you? Is that why he yesterday- what the fuck?!”

Matt winced. “That was one time and I never thought I’d say that but it was probably for the best. He helped me to get clean that way. The stabbing part was uncalled for though.”

“Why did you think it was a good idea to ask that guy for help?”, Neil couldn’t help but ask. Matt shrugged as he poured them both a cup a coffee.

“I think I mentioned it yesterday. He had a deal with Kevin.”, he hesitated for a moment. “He kept him safe during his time as a fox. But anyways, what happened this morning?”

Neil saw the desperate attempt to change the topic but decided not to push it. That was the reason he was here after all. He had nearly forgotten why he had rushed out of his apartment.

“Minyard kept telling me how all my life choices were stupid so I kinda kneedhimintheballs.” , he mumbled. Matt choked on his coffee.

“You did what.” Matt looked like he was between laughing and crying.

“I told him to fuck off and he didn’t.”, Neil defended himself.

Matt buried his face in his hands. It was hard to determine if he was crying or not. Since his shoulders weren’t shaking it was fine. Probably. A sleepy Dan entered the kitchen, making a beeline to the coffee maker. Only after turning around with a full cup she noticed Neil sitting at their counter. “Not to be offensive but why are you here?”, she asked.

“Neil kneed Andrew in the balls.”, Matt answered sounding horrified. Dan froze for a second and then went over to them to ruffle Neil’s hair.

“I knew you had it in you.”, she said fondly.

“Don’t encourage him.”

She rolled her eyes and muttered ‘whatever’ before leaving them in favor of getting a shower. Neil turned back to his teammate.

“So how long will it take?”, he asked. “Because I’d rather have it sooner than later.”

“Whu-What?” Matt looked confused.

“Kicking Minyard out.”, Neil explained impatiently. “I want to take a shower, you know.”

“You can take one here. After Dan.”, Matt offered and then hold up his hands in apology when Neil scowled at him. “Yes, I’m aware that’s not the real issue here. But will you listen to me for a second?”

Neil suppressed a groan. If this was going to be like the arguments they had the morning before he would kick Minyard out himself. He nodded anyways since he liked Matt after all.

“I’m the last person to tell you that Andrew is anything but a complete asshole but-”, Neil snorted and Matt narrowed his eyes at him before continuing. “but he was the only one who was able to protect Kevin from- to protect Kevin. His methods are unnecessarily cruel at times but he gets the job done. And he sticks to his word. When he says he will protect you from that stalker then _he will._ ”

“Give him a few days. I’m not saying that you have to become friends with Andrew or even like him. But maybe you can become ...used to him?”

“I don’t think Andrew would want to stay after what I did earlier.”, Neil confessed. Why was he embarrassed over this? He didn’t do anything wrong, damnit. Matt looked thoughtful and then nodded to himself.

“I think I know a way how you can get back on his good side. We need to go shopping.”

“I thought Andrew can’t be bought?”, Neil asked. Matt grinned at that.

“Not with money. Let me grab my keys and-”

“Wait.”, Neil interrupted Matt who had hopped of his chair. “I still need to take a shower and you’re still in your pyjamas.”

“Oh, right.”

“Why would that even work.”, Neil asked over two hours later. It had taken them a lot longer to get ready than expected. Not to mention the fact that it took Matt longer to style his hair than for Neil to shower and get dressed again. Dan had reminded them to eat something before taking off. Matt put another three pints of ice cream to their cart and shrugged. “He can’t be that easy.”, Neil argued because yes, Andrew liked ice cream. That much he could gather himself from yesterday’s events. There had to be a limit on how much one could like frozen dairy though.

“Andrew is always a slut for ice cream.”, Matt countered. Neil narrowed his eyes at him.

“That was one of those memes, right?” Matt ruffled Neil’s hair before he could duck out of the way and laughed.

“I’m so proud of you.” Neil smiled and Matt added another four pints of ice cream to the cart before they made their way to the check out.

He couldn’t help but feel nervous when he turned the keys in the lock and opened the door. No Andrew came knife wielding at him so he relaxed. Since he wasn’t as stupid as Andrew tried to convince him he let Matt enter his flat first though. After Matt gave him an “all clear” sign he went in, too.

There was muffled noise coming out of the living room slash open kitchen which suggested that the TV was on. Matt had given him the tv as a moving in gift. When Neil protested that it was too much he had pointed out that they were both exy players and had that kind of money. And also it was only the old one of the Boyd-Wilds household because Dan had wanted a new one anyways. Neil didn’t use it much but had to admit that watching exy games on the tv was a lot better then on his laptop.

Andrew was watching some kind of reality TV as he laid splayed out over the whole couch. It was amazing how someone so small could take up so much space. Neil started putting away the ice cream so he didn’t see Andrew raising an eyebrow at them.

“Didn’t know you and Wilds were polyamorous.”, he said nodding in Neil’s direction who was wearing Matt’s clothes that were several numbers too big on him. Matt nearly dropped the bags he was holding.

“I don’t-We haven’t- Neil didn’t have anything except his running clothes after showering.” , he stammered.

“Because I didn’t feel safe enough to do that in my apartment.”, Neil jumped in, shooting a dark look towards Andrew who held his hands up.

“If I remember correctly it wasn’t you who was bodily harmed.”, the blonde pointed out. Neil opened his mouth to counter but Matt interrupted him.

“That’s why we came with a peace offer.”

“Not interested.”, Andrew said turning his attention back to the flat screen.

“We bought you ice cream.” The was a short silence.

“How much?”, Andrew asked eventually. 

“Ten pounds.”

“I’m listening.”

As it turned out Andrew really was that easy.

They didn’t start their peace talk right away since Andrew wanted to finish whatever show he was watching at the moment. Matt joined him on the couch and they watched together in silence as Andrew ate his way through his first pint of vanilla ice cream. Neil used the time to change into clothes that actually fit him and then trying not to get a panic attack. He still couldn’t believe that Andrew wouldn’t stay mad because of some ice cream. _Too easy,_ a voice warned him. _He is just waiting until Matt leaves._

When Neil finally returned to the living room the TV was switched off and Matt was on his phone. Probably updating Dan on the whole situation. Or betting again. Ugh.

Since Andrew and Matt sat on both edges of the couch there was only the part between them left to sit and like hell would he sit there. So he grabbed one of the dining chairs and dragged it to the couch. Once seated he cleared his throat. Matt put his phone away and shot a look between them. When neither Neil nor Andrew made a motion to speak, he sighed.

„Look, I don’t know all the details of what happened this morning but I’m sure Neil is sorry-“

„I’m not.“, Neil chimed in.

„-just the same way you are, Andrew.“, Matt continued ignoring Neil’s objection. Andrew looked neither impressed nor convinced by that apology. Realising that it wouldn’t get them anywhere Matt dropped the topic and moved on.

„Did you have time yesterday to talk about the deal?“, he asked. Both of them shook their heads slightly. This conversation was starting to feel more and more like couples therapy. „Well then, no time like the present.“

„I want to Josten to stop being stupid.“, Andrew said finally after a long and rather uncomfortable silence.

„Wow, that’s helpful.“, Neil couldn’t help but answer. „Care to elaborate?“

„Sure.“, Andrew responded unfazed. „Stop doing stupid things.“

„Well, and I want you stop acting like a jerk.“

„You should have said that yesterday. Too late for that now, pretty boy.“

„Yesterday you only said that you didn’t want me to lie. The rule works both ways, asshole.“

„Have you been telling the truth?“, Andrew countered to which Neil said nothing. Without Matt they would probably have sat in silence for the rest of the day.

„I know you two love screaming at each other but can we can just take a moment to remember why we’re here?“

Neil realised this was actually turning into a therapy session. He had seen the counseling books at Matt’s place. Originally he had thought that they were Dan’s since she was in training to become a coach. It seemed that in fact they were Matt’s.

„I’m here because Josten’s stupid.“

„That’s victim blaming, dick face. I can’t be held responsible for having a stalker.“

„Ever considered facial surgery, pretty boy?“

„Ever considered taking that opinion of yours and shoving it up your ass?“

„TIME OUT!“, Matt threw his hands up in the air. „You’re acting worse than the kids in Little League and they’re ten.“

„I don’t think Andrew is tall enough to pass as a ten year old.“ 

„What did I just say, Neil?! And you, put that knife away!“, Matt gestured at Andrew who had produced a knife out of thin air and didn't do Matt's biddings. „Seriously, I’m starting to think this was a bad idea.“

Both Neil and Andrew snorted and then glared at each other. Andrew should have known from the start that is was a bad idea. He should have ignored Matt’s text and he would still be in his house in Columbia. Not that he had much to do there. Still better than spending his time with fucking Neil Josten who sat in his chair scowling like someone had killed his cat. Fed up with his thoughts Andrew only listened to the conversation with half an ear.

„-nt you to say one positive thing about the other and take turns. Neil, you start.“ Andrew blinked in surprise. Boyd couldn’t be serious about this bullshit. But Neil seemed to give in.

„He’s good at exy, I guess.“

„What kind of compliment is that?“ , Andrew couldn’t help but ask feeling somewhat offended to be associated with that dumb sport. Neil was about to answer when Matt cut in.

„No reaction allowed. Andrew, it’s your turn.“

Andrew stared at Josten trying to think about something to say that wasn’t totally gay. As far as he was concerned Josten was a dumb idiot who did stupid things and happened to have a pretty face. Was _‚I wouldn’t mind making out with you‘_ to be taken as a compliment? Probably.

Neil and Matt looked at him expectantly and he realised that they were waiting for an answer.

He settled for: „He’s good at exy, too.“ and watched Neil’s eyes narrow in silent amusement. Matt nodded satisfied with the answer and turned to Neil who shrugged.

„If I apologize can we stop doing this bullshit?“, he asked. Matt made a hand gesture in Andrew’s direction. Andrew leaned back and tried to look as nonchalant as possible. „I’m sorry.“

„I don’t think I heard you.“, Andrew said because he was an ass.

„You heard me perfectly fine, you wanker!“, Neil shot back. Andrew raised an eyebrow at that. A british accent? Interesting.

„No more insults for the rest of this talk!“, Matt decided to spoil the fun. „For fuck’s sake, you’re two adults! Can you at least act like it for ten minutes?!“

„Sorry, Matt.“, Neil muttered looking somewhat genuine. Then he turned to Andrew. „Hi, my name is Neil and I have a stalker problem.“

„Hi, Neil.“, Andrew said in a solemn voice while Matt muttered ‘Seriously, guys?’. Andrew and Neil ignored him. If Matt was trying to make this conversation into a group therapy session than they might as well act like they were in one.

„The first time I noticed I have a problem must have been eh, five or six month ago. It started with letters and flowers. At some point the letters went from kind of weird to downright creepy. Fucked up stuff about slicing me open and shit like that. I stopped opening them.“

„It was fine for a while but then I had a relapse, I guess. Somehow they got my phone number and started texting me. Threatened that they’ll kill me and my teammates if I don’t reply.“, he shrugged. „The usual.“

„Thanks for sharing with us, Neil.“, Andrew said but Matt interrupted him.

„Tell him the whole story.“ Neil rolled his eyes but did as he was told even so.

„When I came back from my morning run someone had been in my apartment. Everything was a chaos. They left photos of me lying on the couch table. And I think some of my clothes are missing.“

„They also bugged your place.“, Andrew added as he got up to get himself some more ice cream. When he returned with a pint of chocolate fudge Matt and Neil were staring at him. He shrugged.

„I didn’t have much to do this morning.“, he explained. „Fun fact, most of them were in your bedroom.“

„You went through my stuff?!“, Neil asked looking very pale all of the sudden. Andrew nodded as he ripped the lid off. „Among other thing. Say, where do you hide your porn?“, he asked to get a reaction out of Neil. Not that he had looked for that kind of stuff.

Neil wrinkled his nose in confusion. „I don’t have any. But can we go back to the fact that you invaded my privacy?“

Andrew ignored his whining. „We’re setting some ground rules on how to deal with that psycho.“, he decided since otherwise their conversation was going nowhere. Also the new episode of ‘Fire and Ice’ was airing in about an hour. The faster the issue got dealt with the better.

„Rule number one: You don’t leave the house on your own. And when I’m not with you, you tell me where you go and with whom and you have your phone with you at all times. “, he said without waiting for confirmation. It was his job so he didn’t need any approval. The payment still had to be discussed with Josten. To his surprise Neil nodded along.

„That means no morning runs.“, he clarified for the idiot because he didn’t want a reenactment of this morning. Said idiot scowled but said nothing.

„Rule number two: No strangers are allowed in the apartment. Not even your cleaning lady.“

Neil tilted his head for that one. „Why would I bring strangers to my apartment anyways?“, he asked. Andrew blinked at him a couple of times and then looked at Matt who shrugged. “He’s always like that.”

„Rule number three: You tell me when the stalker tries to communicate with you in any way or you think something is off. Rule number four: You don’t answer to them. No matter with what they threaten. You do not react. All clear? Good.“

As much as he was tempted to add Rule Number five: ‘Don’t do stupid things’ he actually wanted the idiot to get the rules and not have this end in a screaming match. Maybe he should establish a rule for not talking since Josten did not know when to shut the fuck up. Not that it would help probably. He had said his part and made it clear to the other two that the conversation was over.

It only took ten more minutes for Josten to convince Matt that he was fine and another five until Matt actually left. When Josten didn’t come back to the living room right away he didn’t think much of it and grabbed the remote. He still had twenty minutes to kill until his actual show started. He nearly didn’t hear Josten enter the living room again. He didn’t sit down on the couch or anywhere near Andrew, he took the chair he sat on earlier and adjusted it until it stood in a clear path to the door. Andrew chose to ignore him. 

“Why did Kevin make a deal with you?”, Josten finally asked. 

“Ask him.”, Andrew shot back without looking away from the screen. 

“I’m asking you.”

“Ever met Kevin?”, the thought hadn’t occurred to Andrew until now. When he had searched Josten’s room (not looking for porn) he had found a lot of exy magazins. Not surprising really, considering that Josten seemed to spend his whole day on that dumb sport. What was more interesting was that nearly every magazine featured Kevin Day. Josten was about to shake his head and then thought better of it and shrugged. “Once, when we were young.” 

“So why the interest?”, Andrew decided to push. Josten was still not meeting his eyes. 

“He’s the best exy player there is.” Freaking Junkie. Did Josten ever think about something not exy related? “So, are you gonna tell or not?”

Andrew pretended to consider it for a second. “If you tell me why you don’t want to go to the police.” 

Instead of replying Neil stood up and went to the door. “I’m going to bed.”, he said and it was answer enough for Andrew. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andrew being easily bribed with candy is kind of based on this post: http://lastaled.tumblr.com/post/151483497522/okay-we-know-andrew-can-absolutely-be-bribed-with  
> (how do u link smth???send help i'm a dinosaur)
> 
> Also VERY IMPORTANT question: Does Neil have a cat? yeah or nah?


	3. (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Andrew and Neil go to a coffee shop once and everyone thinks it's a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me a while but literally haven't been on my laptop for the last nine days. Real life was too real.  
> I decided to split this chapter and make the other half chapter four since it was getting too long and my exams are starting soon. So I thought maybe you'd rather have a 5k update now instead of waiting two more weeks for a 10k update??? Idk.  
> Thanks again for the lovely comments and kudos, it really helps my motivation. Big shoutout to the loveliest of all bro's for doing the beta reading again. And baking cookies.

The next day, fucking monday, started at ass o’clock because Josten had morning training. Andrew felt like he was in university again. Without the medication though. Bee would tell him to look on the bright sight of things. He genuinely tried for two seconds. Up until he started to wonder if he could count seeing Josten with bed hair as a good thing. Then he stopped. He could admit that Josten had a pretty face but that was about it.

“We need to leave in five minutes, Minyard.” , Josten called out from the kitchen where he was making something that looked a lot like a kale smoothie. Ugh, it was really like university all over again. At least Josten didn’t have a face tattoo. He made his way to the kitchen as slowly as possible and then reached into the freezer for a pint of ice cream. At least pretty boy was clever enough not to comment on that one. Although Andrew had to admit that he felt vaguely disappointed about that. Eating sweets had been the most fun when Kevin sat next to him grinding his teeth like the huge hypocrite he was. Giving lectures about healthy diets in one moment and chucking down a whole bottle of vodka in another. Classic Kevin.

“How do you usually get to the stadium?”, Andrew asked because it was part of his job to know. He had also yet to see Josten actually drive a car. Did the idiot even own one?

“I, uh, usually run? Or drive with Matt when the weather is too bad?”

“We’re taking my car.”, he informed Josten as he grabbed for a spoon. Josten took a sip from his smoothie and wrinkled his nose.

“It’s not that far.”, he argued. “If you want to drive that badly, fine. But I’m going to run there.”

“Just how stupid are you, Junkie?”, Andrew couldn’t help but ask. “Someone is stalking you. I’m here to protect your sorry ass. When I’m telling you that we’re taking the car then we’re taking the goddamn car.”

“I’m not going to hide because there is some weird dude that thinks he can fuck with my life!”

“Using your brain is not the same thing as giving up.”

“Like you’re the one to talk.”

“What do you mean?”, Andrew asked but Josten said nothing. Within a moment he had his knives out and pressed against Josten’s stomach. “What. Do. You. Mean.”

Josten looked him in the eyes. He didn’t looked scared at all, not even intimidated. If anything he looked amused with this cold smile on his face. “Consider it a tip for a tat.”, he answered. “You invade my privacy and I invade yours, Doe.”

When neither of them moved he continued in a conversational tone. “Did you really think I was going to let you push me around like you did with the foxes back then? Go ahead, stab me. Do you want to be high again that badly?”

They stayed like this for quite sometime without either of them moving. When Andrew thought he had enough self control not to slice the idiot open, he stepped back and slipped his knives back in his wristbands. “Get in the car.”, he said and Josten actually did.

They didn’t talk to each other for the rest of the day other than out of pure necessity. Andrew followed Josten like a shadow. Silent and in all black. He checked Josten’s locker before allowing him to change. He lay on one of the benches during the team practice, ignoring the curious looks of the team and coach. For some reason watching the team doing drills and shout at each other, sometimes laugh, sometimes fight, made him feel uneasy in his chest. Running out of better things to do he decided to text Bee. After his graduation she had told him to call him anytime if he needed to. He didn’t, he never called Bee but sometimes he would send her texts.

**Andrew [Monday, 11:38am]**

_got new job_

He must have gotten her in between meetings because it didn’t take her long to reply.

**Bee [Monday, 11:39am]**

_I’m glad to hear that! Do you enjoy it?_

Oh Bee, always asking the difficult questions. Did he enjoy playing babysitter for Josten? Objectively it was a good deal. While his job was pretty much 24/7 it didn’t require much effort. Much better than washing dishes or working at a gas station or serving alcohol all night. But did he actually like doing it?

**Andrew [Monday, 11:43am]**

_idk yet_

**Bee [Monday, 11:44am]**

_Let me know when you do. Keep me updated._

I’m sorry that I can’t talk longer but I have meeting now. Take care, Andrew.

**Andrew [Monday, 11:47am]**

_k_

Left without anything better to do he stole Josten’s phone out if his bag and scrolled through the messages the stalker had sent him.

**Unknown [last Wednesday, 5:21am]**

_Who do you belong to?_

**Neil [last Wednesday, 7:55am]**

_Go away_

**Unknown [last Wednesday, 7:02pm]**

_You’re mine._

**Unknown [last Wednesday, 9:40pm]**

_Say it._

**Neil [last Thursday, 7:28am]**

_Get a life, you fucking creep._

**Unknown [last Thursday, 5:03am]**

_You’ll regret that._

**Unknown [last Thursday, 5:10am]**

_I’ll make you suffer._

**Unknown [last Thursday, 3:39pm]**

_You will beg for mercy._

**Unknown [last Thursday, 7:20pm]**

_I’m looking forward to making you cry my name._

**Neil [last Thursday, 8:47pm]**

_Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you??_

**Unknown [last Friday, 8:31am]**

_How did you like my surprise?_

After practise Josten didn’t want to shower there but at home. Since there was no way that he was letting that idiot get his sweat all over his car seat Josten had to suck it up. He waited until everyone was out of the showers before he finally grabbed his stuff and headed for the bathroom. The car ride was silent except for the chatter of the radio. They got out of the car without a word and Josten didn’t enter his flat before Andrew checked every room. They both headed for their rooms and only came out when it was time for afternoon practise. Josten made him stop at the store afterwards to buy food.

Since Josten was taking the whole healthy eating thing serious he bought mostly fresh vegetables and fruit. Andrew used the opportunity to throw several packets of Reese’s in the shopping cart. It was fun to watch Josten’s trying to hide his disgust when he added some frozen pizza’s.

They left the groceries in the car at first since Andrew had to check the flat. It would be stupid to do that with his hands full. Once Josten finished putting the stuff away he started cooking. Andrew wandered out of the room and made himself comfortable on his bed. There were new episodes of Elementary on Netflix. Not that he had an own account. He used Nicky’s and while they had separate users he liked to mess with Nicky’s To watch list. Somewhen during the second episode he got hungry and went to the kitchen to put one of the pizza’s in the oven.

Josten was sitting on the dining table, eating something that smelled a lot like thai curry. The TV was on and of course it was some exy match. They didn’t acknowledge each other. Andrew set a timer on his phone for the pizza and went back to his room. Josten was gone by the time Andrew came back to the kitchen so he used the chance to watch something on the flat screen while eating his pizza.

“When did you eat my leftovers?”, Josten cornered him the next morning in the hallway.

“Around midnight.”

“Why?”

“You didn’t write your name on it.”

Andrew moved past him, careful not to touch. He slipped into the bathroom but before he could close the door behind him Josten yelled. “And why the fuck did you have to put the empty box back in the fridge?”

So the next evening after Josten went to bed and he had the flat to himself he filled the container that had a post-it with _“Neil”_ written on it with one of his frozen dinner packages after he ate the junkie’s leftovers.

As a result Neil tried to hide his leftovers on the corner of the highest shelf of the fridge. He wrote _‘You’re not as funny as you think you are, Josten.’_ on a sticky note and filled the container with the content of the ashtray.

_‘Stop eating my food then’_ said a sticky note on the fridge the morning after. _‘your disgusting by the way’_ said an additional second one next to it. Someone was getting passive aggressive, huh. Andrew grabbed a pen while Josten was in the bathroom and wrote _‘*you’re’_ underneath.

Josten pouted for the entire drive to the stadium and Andrew kept his eyes on the road. So what if he put his arm on the back of Neil’s seat when parking backwards? Plenty people did that. So what if he brushed Josten’s hair when taking his hand back? So what if his fingers tingled for hours after it? Andrew stared at his hand as he balled it to a fist and then rammed it in the punching bag in front of him.

One of the perks of having to babysit a professional athlete was that the gym he trained at had the best equipment. Even better than the one he had used during his time as a fox. He had gotten his fair share of weird looks when he started showing up with Josten to practice. The idiot apparently hadn’t deemed it necessary to tell his team that he hired a bodyguard. Some of them had even tried talking to him. He had stared at them until they felt uncomfortable and left. Josten was the smallest one on the team and two of the players were even taller than Matt. The weird looks had quickly changed into respectful ones once they found out that Andrew could bench more than any of them. Andrew was not one to feel smug about things like that. But he made sure to collect half of Boyd’s winning since the man still seemed to have a gambling addiction. And was also still able to talk his teammates into betting on who could bench the most.

“We’re playing a game tomorrow.”, Josten said when they were back in the car on the way back, as if Andrew hadn’t wasted two hours of his life sitting through an intensely boring pre-game talk before they left. Therefore Andrew decided not to waste his breath on an answer.

“We need to fly there.”, Neil continued. “We’re just stopping at the apartment to pack our stuff.”

“Stop stating the obvious, stupid.”

“Will it be fine with your aviophobia though?”

Instead of answering Andrew reached for his cigarettes. He could feel Josten’s eyes on him but he kept his own gaze firmly on the road. After he placed a cigarette between his lips he searched in his pockets for a lighter. After his first drag he finally answered.

“Who told you?”

Josten snorted. “Nobody had to. It was obvious enough.”

Andrew noticed that Josten made no move to open a window or tell him to stop smoking in the car. If anything he took deep inhales. He caught himself watching Josten out of the corner of his eyes and refocused his attention back to the road. Within another minute the car was parked in front of the apartment. Andrew stayed in his seat until he finished smoking, allowing himself to study Josten’s profile who was playing with the hem of his hoodie. Not for the first time Andrew wondered if the Junkie owned anything (excluding sports gear) that was actually his size. Everything he was wearing seemed to be at least one if not two sizes too big, making him look even smaller. It was also doing an impressive job of hiding the muscles that were underneath. Not that Andrew actually had seen Neil shirtless (or wanted to for the matter). He was a master of changing clothes without showing any skin. Andrew didn’t know if he was annoyed or glad about it.

Josten stayed in the car until Andrew texted him that it was safe to enter the apartment. They threw some clothes into their bags along with some toiletries and then went back to the car. Since he didn’t want to hear anything Josten had to say Andrew turned on the radio on the way to the airport. As it turned out the idiot just waited until they got out of the car to annoy him again.

“Think you’ll make it?”

Andrew ignored him and went for the trunk of the car to get their bags. Both of them had packed light enough that their bags still counted as hand luggage but Andrew chose to check in his bag after he slipped his knives into said bag. The next hours would be extra stressful because the comforting weight on his wrists was now missing but there would be no way he could get them through security and he wouldn’t spend the next three days without them.

After they passed security they met up with the team that was already waiting at the terminal. He left Josten in Boyd’s care and wandered around the area looking for a book store. He passed the “recommended bestseller” shelf without giving it a glance because it was unlikely to find anything other than the same old recycled plotlines there. After spending nearly half an hour of studying back covers he bought “The Long Earth”. He also added a small glass figurine to his purchase before he remembered that he hadn’t seen Bee for over a year now. He supposed he could also send it as a package.

It was refreshing not to worry over money. What he made as Josten’s bodyguard was easily triple of what he earned with the night shifts at Eden’s Twilight. A few months as a bodyguard and he didn’t have to worry about money for the rest of the year.

A quick glance at his phone told him that it was almost time to board so he went back to the terminal. A couple of fans were making selfies with the team as a group. Josten being the smallest ended up in the middle next to two teenage girls. After the group photo was taken everyone went back to their own business. Only some of the fans lingered around to ask for individual photos with some players.

Andrew was only just in time to appear next to Josten and explain that _No_ , it was not possible to take a selfie with Neil at the moment. The junkie looked more relieved than upset about being dragged away from the crowd.

“New rule, no selfies with strangers.”

Josten shrugged to that, scratching the back of his neck. He looked like he wanted to say something but then an announcement said that their flight to Denver was ready to board.

Seated right next to Josten in the first class Andrew tried his best to sleep through the following three hours. He couldn’t help but twitch slightly during the start off but thankfully Josten was too deep in a conversation with Boyd to notice.

Since there was no way Andrew would spend the drive from the airport to the hotel in a bus crammed together with fifteen exy players, he ordered Josten to get them a cab. When Josten frowned at him, he simply stared back until the junkie gave in and went to his coach to inform her that they would go separately. The woman looked over Josten’s shoulder to Andrew and raised her eyebrows slightly but then nodded. It took them longer to find a cab so they were the last ones of the team to check-in at the hotel.

“Josten and Minyard.” , Josten told the woman behind the counter who was clearly checking Josten out before turning her attention back to the computer.

“Two twin sized beds. Is that right?”

If Josten noticed him being unusually tense at that he didn’t show it. He accepted the key card from the clerk ignoring the lingering look the woman send him and turned to Andrew to ask: “Can we go for a run later?”

Andrew was still debating if he should ask to get the room next to Neil. After a year of living alone in Columbia he was used of not having to share a room. The thought alone made his skin crawl and he wondered how he managed during his time at Palmetto. But back then he still had been on drugs so he hadn’t gotten the nightmares then.

To be fair he didn’t get nightmares nowadays regularly either. But in a new environment with someone in the same room as him? A slim chance of a dreamless night. But due to the stalker issue he had to stay as close to Josten as possible.

Next time he was going to make Josten book a suite for them. As a professional athlete that should be no problem. Maybe Josten hadn’t noticed Andrews discomfort because he was too absorbed in his own anxiety. Right now Josten’s body language showed how badly he wanted to run away.

“Ever been to Denver before?”, Andrew asked instead of saying outright ‘No’ Josten stilled, pressed his lips together and shook his head.

“Thought so. Sucks to be you then.”

 

 

Something moved in the middle of the night. Andrew was awake in an instant, flipping his light switch on with one hand and reaching for a knife with the other. Josten who was sitting in his bed with his running shoes in his bed blinked back at him. Andrew decided not give in the urge to press his face against his pillow and scream.

“Were you planning to go on a run?”, he asked. Josten looked like a deer in the headlights.

“No?” Andrew clicked his tongue and lowered his knife.

“Go back to bed.”, he ordered before flopping back into his pillows. But Josten continued to sit in his bed like a weirdo. After a minute Andrew sighed and pushed his blanket away.

“Fucking Junkie. The gym should have treadmills.”, he said and felt nothing when Josten gave him a small smile. He just huffed when Josten jumped out of bed to grab the keycard to their room and his water bottle. Since Andrew had been sleeping in his sweatpants he didn’t bother to change his outfit. He took a quick glance at the time when he grabbed his phone from the nightstand. 4:47 a.m Josten fucking owed him for that one.

The gym of the hotel was, surprise surprise, completely empty when they arrived there. Andrew wasn’t too tired to work out but he sure as hell wasn’t going to try and lift anything when he was still half asleep. He settled for dragging a bench to a spot where he could both see the door and Neil and then lied down again.

“You have forty minutes.”, he told the junkie before focussing his attention on his phone. He should get an ereader app or something on his phone. As much as he enjoyed staring at the wall for hours, he had learnt that he shouldn’t be left alone with his thoughts for too long. For now he settled on finding a good coffee place in Denver. After half an hour the craving for nicotine kicked in. He counted the seconds until Josten ended his stupid run in the lack of better things to do. Against his expectations he didn’t have to drag the junkie away from the treadmill. He also only shrugged in acknowledgement when Andrew informed him that they are going to a coffee shop a few streets over.

Andrew took small satisfaction out of the look on Josten’s face when he realised that they were going straight to the coffee shop and not stopping in their hotel room before. Josten sighed looking resigned.

“I don’t have any money with me.”, he pointed out.

“You can pay me back.”, Andrew replied generously. He was still in his worn out sweatpants and had some change in his pockets. Enough to get them a coffee and a pastry for Andrew.

Josten mumbled something that sounding a lot like ’dickhead’ but Andrew ignored him in favor of lighting a cigarette when leaving the hotel. The weather was a bit colder than expected but since their walk was rather short it wasn’t that big of a problem.

When entering the shop Andrew became hyper aware of not only his ratty outfit but also of Josten’s stupid running gear that was clinging to his body. For someone who was usually wearing baggy shirts his running outfit was way too tight. Damnit, he should have let Josten change into something else before coming here. He shot a dark look at the few people that also happened to be at the coffee shop on a Friday morning before 6 a.m. Damn Josten and his pretty face.

The line to the cashier was near to non-existent with just three people in front of them but the barista seemed to be new. He was visibly awkward with the customers and yelled the names out even if said person was already standing in front of him waiting for their drink.

Andrew ushered Josten off to one of the empty tables after getting his order. After a few minutes of incompetent coffee making it was finally their turn and he ordered a vanilla mocha and a donut for himself and an earl grey for Josten. He might have also threatened to stab the barista a little if he called out his name.

He added three packets of sugar to his drink and then one to Josten’s to see his reaction and brought it over to the table Josten was sitting at.

A girl was sitting there as well, clearly ignoring how uncomfortable Josten was looking and talking rapidly. She only stopped for a moment when Andrew stood right in front of her with a blank expression on his face.

“Oh, I thought you were alone.”’ she said to Josten who shrugged. “I don’t normally do this but can I have your number?”

“Ten.”, Neil answered, obviously thinking of his exy number, that fucking moron. Andrew snorted while the girl turned red and got out of the seat. Fucking finally. He sat down and and pushed the tea in Josten’s direction.

“Thanks.”, Josten said and took a careful sip. Andrew tore his eyes from his face and focused on his donut instead. “How much do I owe you?”

“Dinner.”, Andrew answered allowing himself to make eye contact. If his eyes flickered to Josten’s lips the idiot sure as hell didn’t notice.

“I’m pretty sure a tea only costs-”

“Dinner and dessert.”, Andrew interrupted him. Josten scowled at him.

“I’m not buying you dinner.”

“And why is that?”, Andrew asked in what he hoped sounded a bored intonation. Did he have to spell everything out for Josten? Did that guy seriously not pick up on why Andrew was trying to imply or was he simply not interested?

“Because you’re a dick.”

Andrew was about to open his mouth to reply something along the lines of ‘you are what you eat’ when the Barista yelled another name through the small shop. He turned his head out of reflex by that unexpected noise.

“Nathan, a double espresso!”

When he turned his attention back to Josten it looked as if the ginger had stopped breathing. He also seemed to be a second from dropping out of his chair. Andrew was out of his seat and around the table before Neil declined sideways.

“For fuck’s sake, breathe.” , he muttered quietly while hoping that nobody around them would notice. When he made no inclination to do as he was told Andrew slipped his right hand to the back of Neil’s neck and forced the other man to look at him.

“In and out. Slowly. In. Out. Come on, Josten. It’s not that hard.”, Andrew said somewhat louder not caring if the other customers could hear him. “Good. In and out. In and out. Just focus on my voice, okay? In and out.”

When Neil finally started breathing normally again Andrew pulled him out of his seat and ushered him out on the street. They didn’t speak on their way back to the hotel but if Neil walked a bit closer than usual when Andrew lit another cigarette he didn’t comment on it. It wasn’t before they were back in their room and Neil had crawled back into his bed, still in his sweaty workout clothes, that Neil broke the silence.

“Andrew? Thank you for...you know earlier.”

Andrew did his best not to look at Neil and took his book from the night stand. He flipped it open and settled on his own bed.

“You and your issues, Josten.”, he said without any heat. “Go to sleep. You have a game tonight.”

“Neil’s fine.”, Neil offered quietly. Andrew said nothing to that.

 

 

Playing exy was great. Playing exy as a job was even better. Playing exy as a job and winning a game? The actual best. It took Neil two minutes to get out of Matt’s bearhug, not that he minded too much. He was still high on adrenaline and couldn’t help but grin. It was the first time that he had been allowed to play in the second half of the game and he even had made the final goal. They won by only a three point lead but it was still a satisfying feeling. He never felt more alive than when he was out on the exy court. Their captain came up to them to give them a quick hug and a thumbs up.

„You did a great job, Neil.“, she said smiling. „They want you for interviews since you made the last goal. Think you can make it without insulting every reporter in the room?“, she continued in a playful voice but there was a warning underlying message. Neil ducked his head, still unable to stop grinning.

„Only exy talk.“, he promised. Neither Matt nor Williams looked convinced but they pushed him towards the cameras nonetheless. Neil still needed to get used to talking in front of the camera. He either said too much or nothing at all. Their PR manager had already demanded some PR lessons for Neil (and actually got the approval from the coach) but since they were so new in the season they simply didn’t have the time. Most of his time was taken either by training or sleeping.

„Josten.“, greeted him the first reporter sticking a microphone in his face. „How was the game?“

„Good.“, Neil answered. „We won.“, he added after a second. There were a few other questions about the play and what he thought of the defense of the rivaling team. Neil tried to answer them as short as possible.

„Are the rumors about you and Minyard true?“, another reporter chimed in and Neil frowned in confusion. Nobody but Matt and Dan knew about Andrew being his bodyguard and he couldn’t picture them releasing that info to the press.

„What?“, he asked lamely.

„You were seen several times together in public during the last few days, including this morning in a coffee shop. You’re even sharing a hotel room here in Denver.“

„Your point being what exactly?“

„So, you are denying that you and Minyard are in a relationship?“, the reporter pressed.

„I don’t see how this is related to exy.“, Neil answered. The adrenalin rush that had kept him awake was slowly fading away. All he wanted to do was to take a shower and then sleep for ten hours. „We had a good game, the Denver Penguins played well and we’re looking forward to our next game. Bye.“

He left the interview section and headed back to the changing rooms. It should be cleared out by now so that he could get a shower alone. But before he could even get to his duffel bag his coach stopped him. She looked him in the eyes in a way that made him slightly uncomfortable.

„Is there something you want to tell me, Neil?“, she asked.

„Eh, no?“, Neil answered because honestly? He just wanted to shower at this particular moment. She sighed and took her glasses off to massage her temples.

„Neil. Are you dating Andrew Minyard?“, she asked looking him straight in the eyes. Neil shook his head quickly. Why did everyone seem to think that?

„I respect your privacy but I need to know if the rumors are true or not so we can release an official statement.“, Coach Misra said after a short moment of silence. When Neil stared blankly back at her she sighed again. „See, I’d like to believe you, Neil. I really do. But seriously, what is Minyard doing here? You show up with him at your side and expect us not to question it. It’s- There are not many explanation for it.“

Neil shifted his weight from one leg to the other and tried to think of a lie to tell. It was getting harder these days. Lying. Sometimes he almost felt as Neil Josten was a real person with a real life and real friends. Not another identity that he used as a facade. Maybe it was because he spent so many years as Neil now. „Neil.“, his coach said again and Neil fought down the urge to lie.

„He’s my bodyguard.“, Neil said eventually. Coach Misra snorted.

„Your bodyguard is five feet tall?“

„Matt is scared of him.“, Neil argued defensively. As one of the smallest current exy players he had also been reduced to his size a lot. Coach Misra didn’t look like she wanted to continue arguing.

„Okay, moving on. Why are you in the need of a bodyguard? And why did it have to be Minyard out of all the people?“

„…“

„Neil.“

„I have a stalker.“, Neil huffed. „It’s not that big of a dea-“

„Why didn’t you say anything?“, she interrupted him. Neil shrugged.

„Because it was fi-“

„If the word ‚fine‘ leaves your mouth I will bench you for the next three games.“, she threatened him and Neil closed his mouth and looked sullen.

„Look, Neil. We have two options.“, she explained. „Either we ignore the rumors or we make an official statement. Ignoring it will only make it worse because it leaves the press room for speculation. So we make a statement and then move on, alright? Decide whether you want to confirm or deny your relationship with Minyard but I want you to understand the consequences to it. If you deny it we have to come up with a different explanation why the two of you are attached to the hip these days. And ‚He is my bodyguard‘ makes an even bigger scandal.“

„If you make it official though, I don’t want to see your face in some cheap tabloid paper because of some cheating scandal, understood?“

Neil nodded slowly. „Can I take a shower now?“, he asked. Coach Misra stepped aside to let him grab his bag.

„And don’t think you’re off the hook for the stalker thing.“, she called after him when he headed for the shower stalls. „We’ll have talk about that next week.“


	4. If My Heart Would Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Neil and Andrew go to a restaurant and one of them thinks it’s a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is I, the frenchiest fry. Back at it again with a new chapter.  
> Sorry for the wait, exam season is still going strong so this is somewhat shorter than I expected it to be.  
> But I wanted to give you a valentine's present since you all are very lovely readers.

After four years of exy in university Andrew had had enough of this stupid sport for his entire life. It was just his luck that he seemed to be involved with it again. Not directly of course. But protecting an exy player meant going to the court. It was bad enough staying there for practice but a game was another thing entirely. A real professional game and not some students trying to find an excuse to beat each other up. It made something in Andrews chest twitch in a way that he didn’t like at all.

It was unlikely that something would happen to Josten when he was with the team, especially since Boyd was acting like a motherhen. So Andrew had opted to stay in the hotelroom. It was a disregard of his duties but Josten didn’t seem to care that much. He had finished his book and was currently debating if he should buy the next one as an eBook to continue reading on his phone or if he should wait until they went to the next bookstore. If they were going to spend more time in the future traveling he really should invest in an eReader since it didn’t weigh much and he could put as many books as he liked on there. He hummed at that thought and opened a new browser page on his phone to look up some models.

There was a click when the door unlocked and Josten stepped into the hotel room. He offered a grunt as a greeting and then flopped face down on his bed. Andrew debated whether he should ask how the game went but then again he didn’t want to suffer through half an hour of exy talk. Even if Josten’s stupid face always lit up when he started talking about exy. He pushed the thought aside and focused his attention back on his phone. He was good at ignoring people and Josten didn’t seem like he wanted to talk at the moment. After a while Josten sat up and stared at the wall. Not that Andrew noticed because he was far too busy reading amazon reviews on eReaders. He did in fact not watch the other man stretch and stand up.

“Let’s go.”, Josten said walking the small distance between them so that he stood in front of Andrew’s bed. He looked up from his phone and raised an eyebrow.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Josten.”

“I told you, Neil’s fine.”, Jos- Neil huffed. “And you said that you wanted dinner.”

Neil grabbed his wallet while Andrew grabbed some clothes out of his bag and locked himself in the bathroom to change while chanting _‘This means nothing’_ in his head. It meant nothing when Neil asked if italian was okay because apparently he had looked up restaurants while Andrew was changing. He felt nothing when Neil walked close enough for them to nearly brush shoulders after he lit his cigarette. He definitely didn’t feel anything when Neil gave him a small smile when Andrew held the door for the cab open (he had actually been planning to get in first but letting Neil sit first also worked out).

 _This means nothing._ , he told himself as the cab pulled up to a restaurant that was fancier than anything he had ever set a foot in. He swiped his sweating hands on his jeans before opening the car door and getting out of the cab. He lit another cigarette while Neil paid the driver.

Being a professional athlete seemed to have its perks since they got a table right away. He could feel the eyes on his back as they went through the room in a way that made his skin crawl. After the had sat down Andrew carefully checked if his knives were still in place (they were). He rarely took them off but in situations like this he always felt the urge to double check.

They didn’t talk with each other until the waiter has taken their orders and vanished again. Neil shifted in his seat slightly before starting the conversation. Andrew had already braced himself for exy talk but he was surprised.

“So, my coach thinks we’re dating.”

Andrew could hear his own heartbeat ring in his eyes. It was so loud Neil must hear it, too. Was this really happening? Did Neil finally caught on? He tried to look bored and asked “And?” without sounding desperate. Neil shrugged.

“She wants an official statement.”

Andrew really wanted to shake Neil right now because seriously, Josten?! Get to the fucking point. The food hadn’t arrived yet and they still had at least ten minutes until then. He could blow Neil in the bathroom if the other just said the word.

“I mean, why would anyone think that?”, Neil continued and Andrew forced himself not to scream. Or to stab himself or _better_ , stab fuckin’ Neil Josten. “You hate me.”

 _I’m also very much attracted to you._ , Andrew thought and said “I want to kill you right now.” instead. Neil looked around the restaurant to check emergency exits. He did that a lot. He probably thought nobody noticed but he was not as subtle as he thought he was. It bugged Andrew. It made no sense. Why did Neil look ready to take off at any given moment? He had a permanent career and was kind of a celebrity. Also the clothes Neil wore had the dullest colors and didn’t exactly fit with the money Neil had. He wished Neil was as boring as he was trying to make him believe.

But Neil wasn’t boring. He was infuriating. Whenever Andrew thought he had figured him out he did something that completely caught Andrew off guard. He hadn’t expected Neil to go along with the dinner. At that time he just wanted a reaction. Also why the fuck did that shitty idiot insist on going to some fancy shit restaurant when he didn’t want to get laid?

“Why are we here?”, he asked in a flat voice. He didn’t have the patience right now to play along with Neil’s bullshit. He wanted an answer and to get out of there as quickly as possible.

“This place is supposed to have the best ice cream in Denver.”, Neil answered in a far too conversational tone. Andrew narrowed his eyes at him. Okay, they could stay until dessert. Or they could only get dessert? No wait, they already ordered. Fucking Josten, planned the shit all along to trap him here. The ice cream better be worth it.

“Why. Are. We. Here.” Neil fidgeted in his seat and avoided eye contact. Andrew wanted to groan. This was going to be one hell of a stupid idea.

“I -uh...thought wecouldmaybepretendtobeacouple.”, Neil finally said still not looking in Andrew’s direction.

“What.”

Neil shook his head slightly. “Forget it. It was a stupid idea.”

It probably was when he even realised it himself. Nonetheless it was satisfying to see Neil looking uncomfortable. The man across from him was clearly embarrassed and Andrew would take advantage of that.

“You promised the truth. What do you want?”

Okay, maybe pushing Neil had been a bad idea. Dangerous even. Because Andrew didn’t know how to handle a blushing Neil. Shit.

“I thought we could -you know...pretend to be a couple.” He stared at Neil without even blinking. Neil took it as invitation to babble on. “I have no other way to explain your presence to the media and I don’t want the stalker story to come out. And ugh, I shouldn’t have asked. Let’s just pretend it never hap-”

“Wouldn’t that interfere with your girlfriend?”, Andrew couldn’t help but ask. Granted he hadn’t seen anything in the week living with Neil but that didn’t necessarily mean that a significant other didn’t exist. “Or your boyfriend? The person you hook up with.”

Neil rolled his eyes at him. “I don’t- I’m single.”

Andrew couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. Not that he cared if Josten was in a relationship. It just seemed unlikely. “I don’t like being lied to.”, he reminded the idiot.

“Good. Since I’m not lying.”, Neil answered defensively. “I’m not interested in that kind of stuff. That’s why I’m asking you to fake it.”

“You want me to act like your boyfriend in public.”

“Yes.”

“And everyone we know to think that we’re dating.”

“Except for Matt and Dan since they know about the stalker thing, yes.”

“You want the exy community to think we’re dating.”, Andrew asked just to clarify.

“How often do you want me to say it?! For fuck’s sake, yes.”

Andrew paused for a moment. “You’re dumber than I thought you were.”

Neil opened his mouth to answer but then closed it again. He couldn’t help but feel somewhat disappointed about that. It was almost fun watching Neil lose his temper.

“Assuming I went along with this,”, Andrew reminded him. “that would mean no more booty calls.”

So, what if Josten wasn’t interested in relationships and said he wouldn’t bring his hook ups back to the flat they shared now? It was better to remind the idiot why this was a bad idea. Neil shook his head clearly confused.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Andrew wanted to groan. At least Kevin had followed directions. And even without discussions.

“Because we would act as a monogamous couple.”

“But those are accidents.” Andrew stared at the other man flatly.

“Accidents.”, he repeated. Neil shrugged like it was no big deal. It probably wasn’t for that stupid junkie with his stupidly gorgeous face.

“I usually have my phone in my back pocket but if it bothers you that much I can try and keep it somewhere else.”

Wait, what. This idiot was unbelievable. “You’re stupid.”

Neil actually had the guts to look offended.

“I’m not the one prohibiting butt dials!”

“Booty calls.”, Andrew corrected him.

“Same thing, isn’t it?” Neil answered and Andrew couldn’t believe the guy in front of him right now.

“Did you ever get the Talk?”

“What talk?” Andrew did his best not to roll his eyes at that.

“The sex talk, idiot.”, he said. “Did someone ever teach you about safe sex?”

On the hindsight he should have seen Neil’s reaction coming. Still, he hadn’t expected Neil to be as much of a drama queen to empty his water glass in Andrew’s face and then storm off. If he wasn’t Neil’s bodyguard he would have stayed until dessert out of spite. Sadly he couldn’t do that. So once again he was stuck with paying the bill (and getting their food as take out because if he had to pay for it then he would definitely get the most out if it). The idiot better didn’t get kidnapped when he ran away. Andrew fished his phone out of his pocket and opened the messenger app.

**Andrew [saturday, 8:00pm]**

_where r u_

**Junkie [saturday,8:01pm]**

_fuck off_

**Andrew [saturday,8:01pm]**

_grow the fuck up josten_

_i’m still ur bodyguard_

**Junkie [saturday, 8:03pm]**

_you’re fired_

Andrew snorted at that. Nice try, Josten.

**Andrew [saturday,8:04pm]**

_stop acting like a 5yr old + tell me where u @_

**Junkie [saturday,8:05pm]**

_your texting gives me an aneurism_

**Andrew [saturday,8:05pm]**

_tell where u r or i’m putting a tracker on u_

**Junkie has sent you their location.**

Andrew opened the location in google maps, memorised the route and then tugged his phone back in his pocket. Fortunately Neil didn’t go very far although going to a park at night was not the most sane decision one could have. Especially when you had a stalker. Seriously, that guy had like zero self perseverance.

He found Neil on a bench right at the corner of the park watching the traffic with his hands buried in his pockets. He sat down next to him but not close enough to be actually touching, placed the bag with the food between them and lit a cigarette.

“I had to pay again, idiot. That was not part of the deal.”

Neil appeared to still be sulking. “There is no deal.”, he said without moving. He eyed the bag carefully as if there was something dangerous inside of it.

“You wanted one to be there.”, Andrew reminded him blowing smoke in his face. Neil blinked at him.

“Yes, wanted. As in past tense.”

“You’re going to give up that easily?”, Andrew asked because he didn’t actually expect Neil to quit within a week. Of course he knew that nobody within their right mind could stand him longer than a month (and only if they didn’t have to deal with him 24/7). This would actually be his shortest job then. He usually lasted about two to three weeks. Five when he was lucky. Then his coworkers would have had enough and complain to the manager or the customer would go to the manager. At least he had the job at the Eden’s to fall back on for now. He always went there between jobs since just working night shifts wasn’t working for him in the long run. He nearly missed the way Neil laid his head in the back of his neck and stared up in the sky.

“No. I’m tired of hiding.”, Neil said. _Hiding from whom?_ , Andrew wanted to ask but he remained silent and took another drag. “And I promised Matt to give you the benefit out the doubt. But if you continue to be a total shitbag I’m kicking you out.”

Andrew snorted at that. “Whatever.”

“I don’t swing.”, Neil said turning his face to study Andrew’s reaction. “At all. I just- I don’t. And I’m tired of people not believing me or trying to ‘change’ me. It’s just who I am and I’m happy with it. I don’t want to change.”

“Then don’t.”, Andrew replied the fingernails of his left hand digging in the inside of his palm. “Wouldn’t it be a problem for you then?”

“What?”

Andrew rolled his eyes despite himself and withstood the temptation to blow more smoke in the idiot’s face. “That people think I’m your boyfriend.”

Neil shrugged and looked at his hands in his lap.

“I don’t care what people think.”, he hesitated for a second. “I guess it could make things easier with the whole stalker thing. It won’t raise any red flags when I bring you along to banquets and shit. That is if you’d still want to do it.”

Andrew remained silent for what felt like an eternity but couldn’t be because he still hadn’t finished his cigarette.

“We need to make a new deal.”

“Why?”

“Because the first one is about me protecting you from a psychopath and the new one will be about me pretending to be your boyfriend.” Neil narrowed his eyes at him.

“What do you want? Another sports car?”

Andrew clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Smartass. I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend and you stop running.”

“I’m not-”, Neil started to protest and Andrew had to give that to him. He was a good liar.

“Why the colored contact lenses then?”, Andrew countered and watched Neil going completely still. A small part of him expected Neil to bolt but to his surprise Neil just sulked.

“I’m not a math problem.”

“I’ll still solve you.”

“Fuck you, Minyard.”, Neil muttered but without any real heat behind it.

“Also we need to get you new clothes and we’ll go out for dinner at least once a week to be seen in public. Any objections?”

“What’s wrong with my clothes?”’ Neil asked looking confused. Andrew gave him a flat look and blew smoke in his face. He sighed.

“Whatever. Anything else?”

It took Andrew a bit longer to answer. “If you’re comfortable with it we’re going to do a bare minimum of body contact to make it look believable.”, he finally said sniping the butt of his cigarette away and grabbing the take out from the bag. Neil hesitated only a moment before doing the same.

“That means?”, the junkie asked as he cautiously sniffed his food before taking a bite.

“Casual touches. Putting my hand on your shoulder. Stuff like that.”

Neil shrugged. “Ok.”

“One more thing.”, Andrew added. “You don’t touch me. Ever.”

“So you can touch me but I can’t touch you?”, Neil frowned.

“Got a problem with that?”

Instead of answering Neil only shook his head and continued eating. They ate in silence until something seemed to occur to the junkie.

“You know a lot about this whole dating stuff.”

Andrew shot him a flat look. “Are you implying that I’m not topnotch dating material? Oh dear, you wound me.”

Neil scratched the back of his neck. “That’s not what I meant. I just- when you had your deal with Kevin, you didn’t pretend to be his boyfriend, did you?”, Neil asked. Andrew let out a sigh and put his empty food container away in favor to light another cigarette.

“What the fuck is it with you and Day? Do you want _him_ to be your boyfriend or what.”

“So you never-?”

Andrew didn’t even dignify that with an answer though the temptation to snort was big. He didn’t like thinking back of the times when Kevin exed half a bottle of vodka and then tried to make out with him in a clumsy attempt to forget his shitty situation. Apparently that was what the Ravens did to deal with stress. The annoying thing about the drunk Kevin Day was his inability to understand the simple concepts such as yes and no or to learn from his mistakes. So he shoved a knife at Kevin’s throat every single time and reminded him that he wouldn’t do shit unless Kevin was sober and able to give consent, _real_ consent. Even more annoying was that sober Kevin Day was a coward.

He blew smoke in Neil’s face and stood up. “Let’s go.”, he said. “You still owe me ice cream.”


	5. Jesus Loves Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Andrew are officially fake dating and everyone disapproves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That one took me quite a while to finish, sorry for the wait!  
> I wish I could say that the next chapter is already in the making but I'm currently a little sidetracked by a oneshot about Neil and Katelyn as bff's.
> 
> Oh, in case you're wondering why I am using Whitney Houston songs as chapter titles, I don't actually listen to any of them while writing, I just think that I'm funny and witty if I use them because they're from The Bodyguard (the movie). If you want to get into the mood for the chapter I recommend you to listen to this while reading: [one of my favorite songs of all time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2WH8mHJnhM)

Leela Misra was many things. She was a hobby painter, a dog lover and Coach of a first class exy team. She was _not_ in idiot.

“So you’re telling me that you went out with Minyard on a date yesterday, asked him to be your boyfriend and he agreed?”

“Yes.”

She took her glasses off since they seemed to be giving her a headache. Or it was dealing with this issue that made her head hurt. They sat in an empty conference room of their hotel. During morning training in the gym Neil had come up to her insisting to talk. The room was way too huge for the two of them but then again she didn’t have an office here.

“I call bullshit.”, she said putting her glasses on the wooden table before turning back to Neil. His body language was difficult to read on most days and right now it seemed confident. Self assured. Just like when he said that he was fine after a game where a backliner had tried taking out his kneecaps.

Neil didn’t waver. “You wanted your statement and here it is. Andrew and I are dating.”

“Since yesterday?” , she asked still not believing anything that came out of Neil’s mouth since they had entered the room. Neil shrugged.

“I’m told that I can be a bit oblivious.”

Leela did her best not to snort at that statement. _A bit_ oblivious. Sure. In his first month with the team she had felt more like an agony aunt than like a coach. She had hoped that her players were mature enough not to try starting to date within the team but she had been wrong. When asked Neil had only said ‘everyone’s trying to make me feel welcome. they’re a nice team.’. So much too a bit oblivious.

“Minyard agreed?”

Another shrug from Neil. She narrowed her eyes at him.

“I saw you holding his food out of his reach during breakfast. And him sucker punching you in the stomach.” 

That got a reaction out of Neil. Not the one she expect though.

“All he does is eat sweets. It’s disgusting”, Neil complained crossing his arms in front of his chest. “If he keeps that up he will have diabetes before he turns thirty.”

“You know what? You’re an adult, Josten. If you want to go with this story and not tell me the real reason, _fine_. But we are going to talk about the stalker thing.”

From the blank stare that she got from Neil he must have forgotten all about it.

“Is there anybody except Minyard who knows about this?”, she asked.

“Matt.”, Neil said finally. “And his wife Dan.”

_Why didn’t you tell me? As your Coach?_ , she wanted to ask but she knew that it would get her nowhere. At least he had talked to someone about it.

“And how long has this been going on?”

“Half a year?”

“Half a- What the-”, she couldn’t help it. “That’s almost as long as you’re playing for us.”

Neil avoided her gaze, clearly uncomfortable. His body language had changed from confident to uncomfortable. She wanted to ask how it got so bad that he had felt the need to get a bodyguard but she knew him well enough to know that she wouldn’t get a real answer out of him like this. She sighed.

“It’s alright, Neil. You’re not in any trouble because of this. But just know that you can come to me if anything, and I mean anything, happens, okay?”

Neil nodded but he was biting his lips nervously. “Do I have to make a statement now or-?”, he trailed of. Leela shook her head slightly.

“You don’t have to talk to any reporters right now. Please _don’t_ talk to anyone of the press and let me handle it.” Neil looked like he wanted to protest but she cut him off. “Let me do my job, alright? This is what I’m getting paid for. You can send Minyard in on your way out.”

Neil’s shoulders slacked but he actually did as he was told for once. It didn’t take long before the door opened again and Andrew Minyard stepped inside. It was enough for Leela to settle in one of the chairs and put her glasses back on. Minyard walked in as if he had just stumbled across this room and was there for no particular reason. Somehow she was already annoyed.

“Take a seat.”, she offered.

“I’d rather not.”, he answered before crossing his arms in front of his chest and fixed his gaze at her. “What do you want?”

“To make sure that I got the facts straight. You’re in a relationship with Neil since yesterday?”

“Yes.”

“That doesn’t sound too enthusiastic.” Minyard rolled his eyes at that and did jazz hands.

“Whoo, Neil and I are dating.”, he said in a monotone voice. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at that because she was an actual adult. Unlike other people in this room.

“And how long have you known each other?”, she asked instead.

“A week.”

“A wee-?!”, she stopped mid sentence to take a deep breath. No panic, she could deal with this. It was okay. “Okay, how did you two get to know each other?”

“Boyd.”, Minyard answered inspecting his fingernails. “Can I go now?”, he asked in a mocking tone.

“Only one more question.”, she said. “Why did you become Neil’s bodyguard?”

His head whipped up and he openly glared at her. Everything about his entire attitude had changed within a moment. Gone was the bored facade. Instead his stance was almost threatening. Leela remembered how Neil had told her that Matt Boyd was scared of the former goal keeper. Now she could see why. It didn’t even matter that he had over a foot on him. Not when she knew that he could bench more than anyone on the team.

“Who told you?”, he demanded.

“Neil.” Some of the tension in Minyards shoulders seemed to ease but he studied her with a new sense of interest. “That doesn’t answer my question though.”

To her surprise Minyard shrugged and actually answered. “It was a good deal.”, he said as if that explained everything. If she hadn’t had more experience with people like him she would have sighed. Some days she felt like she was getting too old for this shit. Why did she have to deal with people in their twenties who thought that they were cool for giving vague answers when they were actually just really annoying? Of course she hadn’t expected that Minyard would open up more than Josten but this was just unhelpful.

“I’m just going to give you one warning, Minyard. Let this little scheme that you and Neil have planned out affect his job then I’m going to rip your balls off.” , she told him and he simply stared back at her. “Also if you’re up for it, we kind of need a goalie sub for the season and I had a look at your stats. The are really ama- hey, where are you going?! I’m still talking to you. This conversation is not ov-” But Andrew had already closed the door behind him, leaving Leela alone in the conference room. “Good job, Leela.”, she murmured to herself.

Their travel back to Indianapolis was uneventful and if it hadn’t been for the occasional fucked up text message Neil would have thought that his stalker had finally learnt to chill. Despite the long travel the day before their morning training wasn’t cancelled. They also had to run an extra lap for every time they complained. He didn’t know what happened during the talk that his Coach had with Andrew but it had set the other man in a strange mood. Not that Andrew was much of a talker but he nearly completely withdrew himself from all conversation and half the time didn’t answer when directly spoken to. Coach Misra didn’t seem to notice it or simply didn’t care because when they arrived she approached Andrew again.

“About yesterday.”, she started but Andrew just walked past her as if nothing happened. Matt shot Neil a questioning look but he only shrugged. He had no idea what was going on so he concentrated on Exy. He still sometimes woke up thinking he was on the run. Still thinking that his mom was supposed to lie beside him. But on better days he woke up and remembered that yes, he finally had the chance to play Exy. He knew he was good because otherwise he wouldn’t have made it pro but he wasn’t exactly Olympic material yet. He still had no chance on playing with or even against Kevin Day.

It was that frustration along with his love of Exy that made him push himself even further everyday. He didn’t even notice how fast the day was flying by until Coach Misra told him to stop running.

“You should be cooled off by now.”, she told him in a tone that implied that he shouldn’t push himself too much. He might have overdone it with his running once or twice when he started on the team. But he knew his limits by now.

“Did you publish the statement yet?”, he asked instead as he walked toward Misra who held a water bottle out for him. His other team members were already in the changing rooms so it was only the two of them on the court. Or maybe three? He had no idea where Andrew was. He took the bottle and chucked it down.

Misra shook her head. “It’s not that easy. I have to convince the board first. The two of you have time until the end of the week to get stories straight.” , she said and left him standing alone dripping sweat on the court. Neil was not surprised that she didn’t believe them. As far as he could tell with his limited knowledge in that area they didn’t act like a couple at all. She was right in the point that they had to work on that. He debated whether or not he should tell Andrew about his conversation with Coach Misra when the other man appeared at his side with a bored look on his face. Did he wait until Misra was gone?

„Get your ass in the shower, Josten.“

Already used to the argument Neil rolled his eyes but went to the changing rooms nevertheless. It didn’t matter how much he hated showering somewhere that couldn’t be locked. He had refused to leave until Neil had showered before letting him in his stupid sports car. He still hadn’t decided if he was relieved that Andrew didn’t question him or irritated that he didn’t care.

He grabbed his bag and waved Matt, who had stayed behind to make sure everything was alright, good bye. He triple checked that nobody was around before stripping out of his clothes and stepping under the hot water. Maybe irritation was the wrong word. Maybe he felt anger that Andrew threw his talent away like that. He had seen the stats of the other man and they had been more than just good. But he hadn’t needed to watch the games to realise that Andrew did only the bare minimum of what he was supposed to do. His stats - impressive as they were - barely improved over the course of five years. It was still good enough enough to go pro but Andrew was good enough to play for the olympics. No, he _would be_ good enough if he only put some effort in it.

Since he didn’t want Andrew to walk in to check on him if he took to long Neil hurriedly threw on his clothes without fully towelling himself off. His shirt was baggy enough to hide the outlines of his scars regardless. Andrew was waiting for him in the changing room and typing a message on a smartphone. _His_ smartphone.

„What did I tell you about invading my privacy?“, he asked and dumped his bag on the empty space next to Andrew. He had thought that his phone was still in his bag when he went in the shower but Andrew must have stolen it earlier. Andrew didn’t even look up and just snorted.

„As if I’m interested in the kitten videos you and Boyd send each other.“ , he answered and held the phone out of reach when Neil tried to grab it. „I was just checking how your fanboy is doing. He’s awfully quiet lately. Did he do anything else except sending you texts?“

Neil shook his head before something occurred to him. „How did you even get my passcode?“ Andrew finally looked up and raised an eyebrow.

„The date when Day started playing as a fox. Really?“, he countered and Neil felt heat rising in his cheeks. „Are you sure that you’re not a stalker?“

„Shut up.“, he muttered and finally managed to grab his phone and wrestle it out of Andrew’s hand. To his surprise Andrew let him.

„So it won’t break your heart if I tell you that your crush texted me to discourage me from associating with you? He said it quote ‘will only bring me trouble’ unquote.“

„You’re still in contact with Kevin?“, Neil asked surprised and Andrew shrugged.

„More like I didn’t bother to change my phone number after graduation. And look here it got me.“, he answered and gestured between the two of them. Neil had wondered how Matt had gotten in touch with Andrew but that answered his question. Andrew was still watching him as if he was waiting for a reaction. When Neil didn’t give him one he stood up and said. „Let’s go.“

Neil followed him to the car and slid into his seat after putting his bag in the trunk. Another thing Andrew was very particular about. He wouldn’t drive unless Neil’s bag was in the trunk of the car instead of between his feet how Neil usually did it. Neil had the suspicion that Andrew insisted on it because he thought Neil would leap out of the car on a red light otherwise. (Not that he was wrong, Neil had done that multiple times before.) The car ride was silent like usual and Neil stared out of the window for lack of better things to do.

„You’re going the wrong way.“, he observed. Andrew clicked with his tongue and took another turn right.

„You’re wrong.“

Neil rolled his eyes and did his best not to cross his arms in front of chest defensively. „Where are we going then?“

„The mall.“

Neil turned around to look at Andrew. Except Andrew didn’t grin or tell him that he was joking.

„You’re joking.“, he tried hopefully. He wiped his hands on his pants because they were getting sweaty.

„Nope.“

„Why?“ The other man looked away from the road for a second to give him a flat stare.

„What do you think, genius? To go shopping.“

„Haha, very funny. But why are we going shopping?“, Neil pressed as the car slowed down as they drove into a parking lot and went through the lanes in the hope of finding a free spot. Andrew clicked his tongue which probably meant that he was annoyed.

„I’m not fake dating someone who looks like a hobo.“, he said as he pulled into a parking spot. „People would think that I don’t have any standards.“

„I dress just fine.“, Neil argued but Andrew had already left the car. Neil sighed before following.

They wandered through the parking lot to the entrance of the mall, Andrew for once skipping smoking in favor for mulling over his situation. So he had agreed. Agreed to play fake boyfriend. Fake boyfriend of a professional exy player. Neil’s stupidity must have started to rub off on him. He tried telling himself that it was a cover, so people wouldn’t know about the stalker. He tried to convince himself that he did it to protect Neil.

But deep inside of him he knew that he agreed because he was a petty asshole. If he didn’t have a chance with Josten he was sure as hell not going to watch anyone else make a move on him. Sure, Neil was asexual but he was also oblivious as fuck. Andrew’d rather stab himself in the eye with a fork than continue watching people hit on the exy player who didn’t even realise it. It was a deeply satisfying feeling to put his hand on Neil’s lower back when he noticed passing by girls checking the oblivious idiot out. It also had the advantage that he could push Neil into walking faster since the idiot had the Slow Walking Syndrom™. Neil shot him a look but didn’t object so Andrew left his hand where it was.

“Where are we going first?”, Neil asked. For once he didn’t try to argue with Andrew about everything. Interesting. Andrew decided to test out a theory.

“We’re just looking around for now.”, he said nonchalantly and let his gaze wander around the packed mall as if he was looking for something to catch his eye. He could feel Neil’s body tense up under his hand. “We go to a couple of stores, you try on some new clothes and at the end we go back and buy the stuff that fit you the best.”, he continued as he decided to push Neil a bit more. To see what happens. Sadly their environment was too loud for Andrew to hear what Neil muttered to himself. He let his gaze wander back to Neil. The idiot was looking around in the crowd as if he was looking for something - for _someone._

“That’s a bad idea.”, Neil said after a moment of silence. Andrew hummed and stopped at a window of a random shop and mustered the mannequins in their ridiculous attire.

“And why is that?”, he asked. He didn’t know how far he could push Neil in public. The last time he had ended up with water over him. It clearly was a bad idea. But a part in him wanted to poke Neil until he did something unexpected again. Maybe he hoped that Neil would do something boring instead. Maybe he still hoped that Neil was too predictable to be interesting. Maybe then the nagging feeling would stop. Maybe he wouldn’t want to keep digging until he found out every last thing there was to know about the man across from him.

“It’s very easy to lose someone in a crowd. We don’t know if my -”, Neil paused for a moment unsure if he should use the word stalker in public. “.. _fan_ is here. For all we know he could have followed us here. The longer we stay here the more dangerous it is.”

Trying to appeal to Andrew’s sense of protection with a logical argument. The idiot had a point but he was sure that this wasn’t the reason why Neil wanted to get this over with so quickly. Andrew huffed.

“Fine. One store.”, he found himself saying. “But this won’t work again.”

Coach Misra came up to them the next day and shushed them in her office to tell them that the official statement would be made in the post game interview on saturday. Andrew didn’t know why they couldn’t just make the statement now and get it over with. A part of him wondered if Misra gave them an extra couple of days to reconsider their decision.

Neil wanted to tell Boyd and Wilds beforehand so Andrew had to tag along for dinner at their place on friday, oh joy.

“Did Minyard have to come?”, Wilds greeted them when she opened the door giving Andrew a hostile glance. Andrew offered a smile that was all teeth but was poked in the ribs by Neil’s very pointy elbow for it. He ignored the muttered “Be nice.” and took a step forward.

“I’m about as happy as you are to be here, Wilds. But you know the drill.”, he said and waved with his hand between Neil and him. “Where he goes I go.”

Wilds rolled her eyes but stepped aside to let them in none the less. She tried to ruffle Neil’s hair when he passed her but he was fast enough to duck out under her reach. Both of them chuckled. Andrew felt like throwing up.

“Matt’s in the kitchen cooking. I’m going to set the table.”, she said at which Neil nodded and went to what was presumably the kitchen. Andrew didn’t escape to notice how familiar Neil seemed to be in this house. He followed Neil in the kitchen to see him exchange some ridiculous handshake with Boyd.

“I’m hungry.”, he stated matter of factly. Boyd was polite enough not to openly complain about Andrew presence. Or he was used to it again after seeing him for two weeks at the court. “The chili should be done now.”, he said instead. Andrew watched Neil helping Boyd to carry the food to the living room.

He and Neil were seated next to each other with Boyd across from Neil which resulted in Wilds facing him. She didn’t seem particularly thrilled by it but then again she had played three years with him in university, mostly when he was high as a kite. Not that they had gotten along better when he was off the drugs. It didn’t really matter anyway. That wasn’t the reason he was here for.

“So, _honey_ ”, he said in a fake cheerful voice once everyone had started eating and turned to Neil. “Do you want to tell them the great news or shall I?”

The couple across from them stopped eating to glace between Neil and him and Neil swallowed his food hastily to answer in an equally awful tone.

“Go ahead, _sugarplum._ ”

He hadn’t expect that Neil would go along with it but it didn’t catch him as off guard as the junkie had thought it would.

“Neil’s pregnant with twins. I know.”, he added when he noticed Wilds facial expression. “It’s crazy, right? But the doctor said that the twin thing is genetic.”

“Andrew.”, Neil said warningly but Andrew ignored him. Instead he smiled at the Boyd and Wilds - they were married now weren’t they? Did one of them take the others name or did they have a double name? Boyd-Wilds? Wilds-Boyd?. His mission to make them uncomfortable and regret inviting them seemed to be working. If he continued like this they could leave in like what, ten to fifteen minutes? Was it too much of a toddler thing to throw his food across the table?

“What Andrew was meant to say.”, Neil tried again giving him a side eye. “Is that we’re dating.”

Boyd started coughing while Wilds stared at Neil in bewilderment. Neil realised the mistake in his wording and winced.

“Fake dating, I mean.”, he added hastily his cheeks flaming red matching his hair color. He was still wearing colored contacts even though Andrew kept hiding Neil’s contact supplements. The junkie must have a secret stash of them somewhere in his room Andrew mused. He should look into that sometime.

“Is it because of the questions during the last game?”, Boyd asked sounding worried. He hesitated for a moment before awkwardly patting Neil’s hand across the table. Andrew placed one of his knives on the table wordlessly and Boyd withdrew his hand immediately.

Neil rolled his eyes but said nothing.

“No.”, he answered and then corrected himself. “Yes. I mean, kind of? I talked with Coach about it and she said that we would need an explanation for Andrew’s presence. And we can’t let the stalker story come out.”

Everyone busied themselves with eating for a while. There wasn’t much to add to Neil’s statement. There was no easy way explaining why Andrew was suddenly with Neil and they spent most of their day together. Nearly always in the same room, not unlike Kevin and Andrew back in university.

“But even if Andrew pretends to be your boyfriend.”, Wilds said after a while thoughtfully. “How do you explain that he is everywhere you go? I mean, Matt and I are married and we still have our own daily lives.”

Both Andrew and Neil stopped eating. “We’re very committed?”, Neil tried and Andrew snorted. “It’s none of their business and they can fuck off.”

Wilds rolled her eyes. “That’s one way to handle the press but then again I’ve seen Neil during interviews so this actually might work.”

For the rest of the evening Boyd did most of the talking together with Neil. They talked about, surprise surprise, exy. The spend their whole day playing that stupid sport and still couldn’t get enough of it. Andrew ignored them.

It wasn’t until Boyd showed them off at the door that Andrew was directly talked to again.

“If you’re a bad fake boyfriend for Neil”, he said earnestly while opening the door for them. “I’m replacing you as Neil’s boyfriend.”

“What?”, asked Wilds.

“What?”, Boyd asked looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

“So you are polyamorous.”, Andrew concluded. Neil somehow oblivious to the entire conversation hugged Wilds quickly before turning to Boyd and saying “The food was good, thanks.” and offering him a fist. Boyd accepted it weakly and kept shooting his wife worried glances who looked more amused than mad. Andrew just wanted this entire bullshit to be over but it hadn’t even started yet.

“Get your ass in the car, Josten.”, Andrew called as he turned on his heels and walked off without a goodbye. He had already started the car when the passenger door was hastily opened and Neil slid into his seat. It was weird how quickly Andrew had gotten used to driving with Neil next to him. The silence of the car ride was more comfortable than awkward and Andrew didn’t have to drown it with radio music.

Their game this week was a home game luckily. Lucky because it meant that Andrew didn’t need to fly. Lucky because they were already half way home when Coach Misra dropped the bomb. Lucky because they had a head start on the paparazzi and exy fans and because Neil had bought enough canned food to last them several weeks and not just a weekend. On the more unfortunate side, Andrew mused as he parked the car an entire block away from his usual spot, was that news like this didn’t die down quickly. He was also unsure how he was supposed to survive an entire weekend in the same flat with Josten without throttling the idiot.

“Do you think it will be that bad?”, Neil asked peeking over his shoulder as Andrew installed two additional locks on the inside of the apartment door. He felt a bit like Uncle Vernon trying to keep all the unwanted garbage _out_. Andrew snorted.

“I had to endure exy fans when Kevin Day joined the Foxes as a striker.”, he reminded the junkie who was still standing behind him with his hands folded behind his back. “And that was only university sport. Trust me it’s gonna be bad.”

He didn’t need to look to know that Neil was frowning. “I’m not Kevin Day.”

“No, you’re not.”, Andrew agreed and gave the door a rattle to see how it was holding up. “Now I just need to drill the kitchen window shut.”

Neil blinked at him as if he was waiting for Andrew to laugh. As if Andrew had made a joke. Andrew stared back. The idiot was still wearing colored contacts. It had been part of the deal so- his phone buzzed. Andrew broke eye contact and swore under his breath while fishing his phone out of his pocket. If the shit show was getting started he should probably turn it off about now. He took one look at his incoming messages before swearing again and dealing the fourth person on his speed dial. He didn’t need to wait long.

“Hello, you’ve reached the homosexual agenda, how may I help you?”

“Nicky.”, Andrew growled.

“Oh, my favorite cousin! I would ask you to join our cause but it seems you already did.”

“Nicky.”, Andrew repeated once more. He had forgotten how exhausting conversations with his cousin were.

“Alright, I’ll stop, I’ll stop.” , Nicky said at the other end of the line but he sounded far to pleased with himself for Andrew to actually believe him. “Just let me say it once, Aaron is The Straight Cous-”

“I’m hanging up.”, Andrew threatened. He had already forgotten why he had bothered to call in first place and didn’t just simply disown his cousin and move on with his life. Out of the corners of his eyes he saw Neil freeze when Andrew answered in german. So much for keeping the conversation private. Still the fact that Neil understood german was interesting enough for Andrew to keep it in mind.

“How do you even know that already. It’s like fucking ass o’clock in Germany.”

“I have a google alert on your name.”, Nicky explained. “Just you know” There was a short pause. “In case something happens.” There was another pause. Both of them knew what was implied. Everyone who Andrew had gone to university with had called him a monster, himself included. It was a given fact for everyone that Andrew was a time bomb just waiting to explode again. On good days he sneered at the memories. On bad days Andrew wondered if they were right./

“And it did.”, Nicky said in a somewhat forced cheerful voice. Andrew hung up on him.

“Did something happen?” , Neil asked him unaware that Andrew knew that Neil had understood what Andrew had been saying perfectly well. Andrew shrugged.

“I gotta kill my cousin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for another reader's poll:  
> My lovely best friend and beta reader wanted me to actually write the shopping scene but I was like 'meeh' at that time. Now she insists that I ask you guys if you want me to write an extra for the shopping scene.  
> So please vote: ya or nah


	6. EXTRA: Nothing's hotter than Hot Topic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Neil go shopping and Andrew has a Gay Crisis™.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who voted (and everyone who left kudos as well)! I’m sure a few people will regret asking me to write this after reading but I still think I’m hilarious. It's short since it's only a scene than was actually supposed to be in the chapter so it didn't take long to write.  
> (I didn't forget about the cat thing btw. it just takes longer to integrate it in the story than expected.)

Since their potential shopping places were narrowed down to one they had to make the decision on where to go. Neil had, of fucking course, wanted to go into the store closest to them just to get over with it. Andrew had grabbed him by his shirt to keep him from storming in there. While Andrew studied the layout of the mall at one of the stupid information points Neil kept looking over his shoulder. For someone who played exy in fronts of thousands people and did interviews on national television he was weirdly anxious. He wasn’t sure if it was social anxiety or something else but it was annoying. 

He knew that he couldn’t just tell the junkie to stop being a nervous trainwreck. That would work as well as telling him to stop being an idiot (which for the records, did not work. At all.) Neil was too absorbed in looking around and worrying to actually notice where they were going until they entered the store. The music that played in the store must have snapped him out of it. He fixated Andrew in a way that made his stomach flutter. Despite this Andrew managed to stare back emotionless, his facial expression not betraying his current feelings. 

“Are you shitting me right now?!”, Neil asked and yep, there was that british accent again. Not that Andrew liked it. He was just trying to test a theory here. How annoyed did Neil need to be before he started to sound as if he was from a bbc show? It was strictly scientific. The things Andrew did in the name of science. 

“What got your panties in a twist now, pretty boy?”, he asked in a bored voice crossing his arms in front of his chest and tapping his feet on the floor. “Got a problem with the shop?”

“ _If I’ve got a-_ ”, Neil stopped mid sentence to pinch the bridge of his nose and take a deep breath. It was almost amusing to watch him struggling to keep his temper in check. “We don’t have time for your stupid jokes, Andrew.” 

At that Andrew raised an eyebrow. “Who says I’m joking?” 

Neil wrinkled his nose in disgust and gesticulated to the shirts hanging closest to them. Andrew stepped closer and took a shirt with a print and the caption “I’m not going to kill you I’m just going to hurt you really really bad” from the rag. He turned back to Neil and shrugged. 

“I don’t see your problem.” 

“I’m not going to wear that piece of trash.” 

Andrew held a hand in front of his face in fake disbelief. “But Jared Leto was such a good joker.” 

“You’re fired.”, Neil huffed in annoyance and passed Andrew, making his way to the exit. Andrew put the shirt back where it belonged (after graduation he had worked too long in shitty minimum wage jobs to be an asshole to employees) and followed Neil with his hands stuffed in his pockets. 

“I don’t see your problem.”, Andrew continued the conversation as if nothing had happened. “Suicide Squad is such a good movie. It even won an oscar.” 

Neil snorted at that which disappointed him a little. He had hoped for a bigger reaction. “Keep pulling shit like that and I’ll fire you for real.” 

Andrew held his hands up in surrender. “How could I know that you’re not a fan of Hot Topic?” 

Neil ignored him and headed to another store. This time without looking over his shoulder every few seconds. Andrew strolled behind him with some distance between them so he could keep an eye on their surrounding. Neil was still pointedly ignoring Andrew’s presence and continued to grab random shirts from hangers until Andrew had enough of it and stepped closer. 

“Didn’t we agree that I’m choosing your clothes?”

“I can pick out my clothes just fine.”, Neil snapped back and scowled at him. Why did the idiot always have to behave like a three year old when he was pissed? Andrew decided to ignore the comment since fighting with Neil wouldn’t get him anywhere. 

“What’s your favorite color?” 

Taken aback by the change of topic Neil stopped mid movement and blinked a him. Andrew stared back. 

“Grey.”, he finally said. Andrew said nothing. “Oh, don’t give me that look! I don’t need judgement from a guy who doesn’t wear anything but black. I thought the emo look was cool ten years ago.”

“Just for that I’m making you wear skinny jeans.”, Andrew responded as he picked his nails. He might have planned for Neil to wear skinny jeans from the start but the idiot didn’t need to know that. He looked around the store Neil had led them into. Not the best there was but he could work with that. “Follow me and for fuck’s sake dump that.”, he said waving at the shirts Neil was currently holding. 

He trusted Neil to actually follow him through the store since he seemed to have calmed down enough to be rational again. Soon he would feel uneasy enough to stick to Andrew by default. That’s how it had worked with Kevin, too. Kevin had only been able to relax when he was within hearing distance. It had worked somehow. Neil seemed to be paranoid enough to show the same behaviour. 

He started with the pants since that was always a tricky one especially for people who were … not that tall. Neil had rather long legs and runner thighs. He’d have to get something that was form fitting but not to small. When he had looked through Neil’s wardrobe on his first day he had looked up Neil’s sizes. It was no problem for him to find something that should fit but skinny jeans arose another problem. He might have looked at Neil’s clothes but he didn’t know if Neil was a boxer or a brief kind of guy. Boxers were out of question for skinny jeans. 

He could ask of course. But he also didn’t want to know. Because if he knew he couldn’t help but imagine it and then his mind was going to go down a dangerous path. It was totally inappropriate since Neil was not only his employer but also not interested. That didn’t stop his vivid imagination though. Andrew really needed to get his shit together. Or get laid. Or both. Both was good. Anything to distract him from the mental image of Josten in nothing but boxer briefs. Fuck. 

“Try these on.”, he told Neil and shoved five pairs of pants in Neil’s arms without looking at him. For once Neil did as he was told and disappeared to a changing room. Andrew didn’t follow. Instead he used the time to pick out some shirts along with three sweaters. It had been unnecessary to send Neil to change since Andrew already knew that the jeans would fit. He had developed that skill over the years out of pure necessity. His foster parents would rarely bother waiting for him to try several outfits on until one fit. Instead they would take whatever and assure Andrew that ‘he would grow into it’. When he had realised that he was stuck at being five feet tall he had put more effort in finding something in his size. He had just needed an excuse to not be at Neil’s side for a moment. He rubbed his eyes with one hand. He needed to get a grip. 

He waited in front of the changing rooms for Neil and shoved the shirts in his arm’s when he approached Andrew. “Check out.”

Neil looked relieved that he didn’t have to try on more and went to the cashier. Andrew waited in some distance with his fingernails digging into the palm of his hands. He had everything under control. This was nothing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I'm not saying Suicide Squad doesn't deserve their oscar but Suicide Squad doesn't deserve their oscar.


	7. I'm Every Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Neil go to a hotel and oh no, there is only one bed. Who would have seen this coming?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I writing this only to squeeze all my favorite tropes in one fanfiction? Possibly.  
> Also you can annoy me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/gaylittlezombiebaby) if you like. But like, no pressure.

There was a knock on the door so of course they ignored it. Neil was in the middle of cooking and Andrew was ...somewhere? He looked over his shoulder and found Andrew lying on the couch half asleep. Neil couldn’t blame him for sleeping in the middle of the day. There had been a lot of people, paparazzi and civilians alike, in front of his flat. It had only ended when a neighbour from across the street had threatened to call the police. Despite this it had been difficult to let their guard down.

After sitting in the living room together until 2 a.m., hoping that the banging and the shouting would stop, Neil had gone to bed. He had assumed that Andrew would do the same but when he left his room in the morning he nearly tripped over Andrew in the hallway. He clearly had tried to stay awake but had failed.

Andrew had been awake immediately producing a knife out of thin air and pressing it in Neil’s stomach. It took him another second to recognize his surroundings and the knife was gone. Andrew had stepped back with his hands visible in the air and for the first time Neil had noticed the slight bulge in the inside of Andrew’s armbands. He guessed that this was where Andrew kept his knives.

Their day so far hadn’t been better. Everyone had been waiting for them to go outside. As soon as it had become clear that they would not do that, the journalists had switched to knocking on the door and shouting again. Neil thought he should invest in noise cancelling headphones. A part of him was curious how many reporters were there exactly and how many homophobic protesters. The rest of him knew that it was better not to know.

Around lunchtime it had had become a lot quieter. Neil guessed that the reporters were taking a lunch break. Which had reminded him of his own grumbling stomach. Now -in the middle of cooking- the knocking started again. For a moment he considered putting on some loud music to turn it into a background noise but then decided against it. Andrew was asleep not even five meters away and he needed the rest.

The knocking continued.

“Open the fuckin’ door Minyard or I’ll kick your ass!”, a female voice shouted. There was some rumbling behind him so Neil turned around to see Andrew sitting up and glancing around the room. Then he flopped back as if nothing had happened.

More knocking. The water was cooking so Neil added the pasta in the water. Since Andrew was going to steal some of it anyway he made a large batch.

“Andrew Joseph Minyard, open that freaking door or I’ll let Renee kick it in.”

The following sound did indeed sound as if someone was kicking against the door. Neil put the tomato sauce on low heat and went to the hallway. Before he reached the door Andrew was suddenly next to him grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

“Didn’t I tell you not to answer the fucking door?”, Andrew asked and clicked his tongue.

“They sound like they know you.”, Neil said instead of ‘It’s saturday midday and I’m already bored out of my mind’. He usually didn’t spend much of his time at home. Whenever he felt bored he went for a jog or went to the court.

“So?” Neil shrugged and Andrew grabbed his chin with his free hand forcing Neil to look at him. “Just because I know them that doesn’t mean that they’re harmless.”

“Minyard!”, the voice from the other side of the door shouted. “I know that you’re there and I’m not leaving until I get answers!”

The statement was followed by more knocking and kicking. Neil raised his eyebrows and Andrew huffed in annoyance and let go of him. He stepped past Neil and opened the door a little.

“Where’s Renee?”, he asked the woman standing in front of him. She gave him a sharp smile and Andrew cursed. Before he could close the door she had pushed past him.

“That wasn’t that difficult, was it?” , she said over her shoulder to Andrew whose expression was easily described as murderous. She gave Neil a winning smile as she walked past him making her way to the living room. When they followed her into the room she had already taken a seat in the armchair and crossed her legs.

“Can I get something to drink?”

“Can you bring Renee the next time you decide to show up uninvited?”, Andrew countered and flopped on the couch. Neil filled a glass with tap water and placed it on the couch table before returning to the kitchen where his lunch was still cooking.

“I guess this explains why you didn’t end up with Renee. She kept telling me I shouldn’t bet on it but she never explained why.”

“If you want to catch up I recommend Wilds’ house a few streets down, Reynolds.”

“Why did you have to ruin a perfectly fine pot though?”, she asked as Neil carefully drained off the water. He would have asked Andrew if he also wanted something to eat but as it seemed the other two had forgotten his existence. So he used the chance to eardrop. “Couldn’t you have gone back to jail?”

He paused and risked looking over to the couch. Andrew’s facial expression gave, like usual, nothing away.

“Still fucking Gordon then?”, Andrew said which was clearly meant to be an insult but she just waved her hands.

“Haven’t seen him in a couple of months but I do whenever I get the chance. Don’t change the topic.”, she answered unbothered. “Everyone is losing money because you decided to play trophy husband for some exy player. To which I haven’t been introduced yet.”

“You’re testing my patience, Reynolds.”

Andrew had drawn his knife again, spinning it around in his hand. It wasn’t subtil but the threat was there even so.

“You really haven’t changed one bit, Minyard. Still a monster at heart.”

“And you’re still a bitch. What’s the news there.”

Reynold gave him a smile that was all teeth before redirecting her attention to Neil.

“I don’t think we have been formally introduced yet. I’m Allison.”

“And he’s not interested. Fuck off, Reynolds.”, Andrew cut in before Neil even had the chance to open his mouth. Allison huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “He can do a lot better though.”

Andrew did neither agree or disagree to this statement. He simply kept swirling his knife around his hand. “What do you want, Reynolds?”

“Do you really think I’m buying this bullshit? You dating someone like him?”, she said gesturing in Neil’s direction. He wasn’t sure what she was trying to imply there. Was it because he was an exy player and she had witnessed Andrew’s dislike of the sport first hand? Or was it because she thought that Andrew was only attracted to women? Both of them had mentioned a Renee.

“So what is your theory then, Reynolds? That this is a celebrity stunt because I love getting harassed by reporters so much?”, Andrew mocked her. “Or that I’m only doing this to ruin your shitty betting pot?”

“What did you expect me to do? See a fucking dating scandal about you on the news and not do anything?”

“Yes.”

“For fuck’s sake. I give up.”, Allison said standing up. “You might have won this round but I’m onto you. There is something fishy going on.”

“You know where the door is.” , Andrew replied waving in the general direction of the door not bothering to stand up himself. She shook her head and made her way to the door. Before leaving she gave Neil one more glance and turned to Andrew.

“At least he’s wearing actual clothes now. You still have to do something about his hair.”, she said and slammed the door behind her.

“I’m standing right here.”, Neil felt the urge to complain since both of them had acted as if he wasn’t there for the entire time. Andrew stood up from the couch with a sign and trotted to the door to secure all the locks again. When he came back to the living room he gave Neil a calculating once-over.

“She has a point though.”, Andrew admitted and Neil threw the kitchen towel at him.

 

 

They somehow survived the day without killing each other. It had been a close call when Andrew woke up from a nap on sunday to find Neil trying to sneak out of the house to go for a run. He didn’t understand why the idiot kept doing stupid things that brought him in unnecessary danger. And why he never seemed to think anything through. What if he had been kidnapped during his jog? How was Andrew supposed to find him? Stupid. Stupid. _Stupid._

He had anticipated the boredom of spending a weekend inside especially when the weather was nice. But he wasn't prepared for Neil’s reaction. Neil behaved liked a caged animal desperately trying to flee. As if the walls surrounding him weren’t meant to protect him but to prison him. He had spent more time than usual on the treadmill and would have run until his knees gave out without Andrew’s intervention.

After Andrew dragged the idiot away from the training room, he pushed him towards the bathroom. “Shower.”, he ordered and went back to the kitchen. Andrew spent his time reheating food and preparing a protein shake while Neil was in the shower. There was still some leftover pasta from the day before. Tomorrow he was going to remind Neil that he had been hired as a bodyguard not a babysitter. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do as a fake boyfriend though. All consensual relationships he had in his life had been mere hook up’s. They had talked about how to act in public but no word about their private life. No reason to pretend when nobody was around to see. So why was Andrew standing on his tiptoes trying to reach the blender for a goddamn protein smoothie?

He finished before Neil came back into the living room in an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. His hair was still damp but already curly again. His hands were stuffed in his pockets as if he was unsure what to do in his own house.

“Come here.”, Andrew said and gestured to the couch. Neil padded towards him.

“Sit.”, he ordered and shoved the bowl with pasta in Neil’s lap as soon as he sat down. “Eat.”

Almost mechanically Neil began eating. Andrew went to the freezer to fetch himself a pint of ice cream and then joined Neil on the couch. He had connected his laptop to the TV screen so he only had to click play on his laptop and lean back. He kept his gaze firmly on the screen but noticed Neil’s frown nevertheless.

“You’re not even half as funny as you think you are.”, Neil said with his mouth still half full. Andrew opened the lid of the ice cream pint and ignored him.

“Andrew.”, Neil pressed.

“What is it?” , Andrew asked trying to sound disinterested. He didn't spare a glance towards Neil and kept his eyes fixed on the characters on screen.

“Downton Abbey.”, Neil said. “Really?”

“I thought you’d like it.”, Andrew answered scooping up some chocolate chip ice cream. Neil placed his bowl on the couch table.

“Just because I’m british-” But Andrew shushed him as if he wanted to hear what Mary was currently saying. He didn’t actually care for Mary at all. Or her stupid will-they-won’t-they relationship with Matthew. But it was amusing to have Neil pouting and crossing his arms in front of his chest like a child.

They made it five more minutes into the episode until Andrew snapped. “Stop it.”

Neil frowned and turned to Andrew. “What?”

Andrew pointed at Neil’s left leg. “That.”

Neil’s leg stopped bouncing up and down and they continued watching Carson nearly having a stroke because someone used a toaster. After a minute Neil started doing it again.

“Neil.” , Andrew said in warning and Neil gave him a surprised look and stopped bouncing his leg only to start doing it _again_ after another scene. Judging by his expression Neil felt like a smug little shit. That asshole. Andrew wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much but he thought that it reminded him too much of himself when he was on medication. Also it was fucking annoying. They sat next to each other but with barely enough space between them that they wouldn’t touch each other. Andrew didn’t need to reach far to put his right hand on Neil’s knee and push it _down_.

“Stop. It.”, he repeated before withdrawing his hand.

 

 

The invitation came on monday. It didn’t come per post or per mail because they could have acted as if they hadn’t read it. Unfortunately it came in form of a phone call to the PR manager. Said manager spent half an hour arguing with Coach Misra until Neil was called to the sidelines in the middle of practice.

“Kathy Ferdinand wants you on her show.”, she said without preamble. Neil lowered his water bottle and tilted his head.

“And here was I thinking that I’m not supposed to speak to the press.”

“We’re still not sure if we should take the deal. I wanted to give you a heads up. Also, get clever like that with me again and I’ll let you run three extra laps.”, she said before sending him back to play.

Kathy Ferdinand wasn’t the only one who wanted to do the first interview with Neil Josten after his coming out. They got dozens of calls but Kathy proved to be the most persistent. She was also the only one that promised that Neil’s sexuality and relationship wouldn’t be the main topic. Coach Misra wanted to know the questions beforehand to do damage control but Kathy insisted that she didn’t like scripted interviews.

“It’s her own fucking funeral.” , was all Coach Misra had to say after an hour long phone conversation with one of Kathy’s assistants.

They had to take a plane to get there the evening before. Luckily it was ‘only’ a three hour flight and the show had agreed to pay for both Neil’s and Andrew’s accommodation along with their travel. Flying first class was nice but still didn’t change the fact that they were far too high in the air. Neil had asked if he’d rather stay in Indianapolis because of the flights. Andrew hadn’t dignified him with an answer and gotten himself more ice cream from the freezer.

“You know it’s never been safer to fly.”, Neil said in conversational manner after they sat down in their seats. Despite a completely booked second class the first class was only half full. Most of them were businessmen and women who were too busy on their laptops and tablets to look up. Andrew ignored Neil and stared out of the window.

“The odds are between one in 5.4 million to 11 million depending on which plane you’re on.” , Neil continued, ignoring the way Andrew was ignoring him. “Hey, I even got this app.”

He reached in his pocket, unlocked his phone and held it in Andrew’s direction. Curiosity won over so Andrew spared the smartphone a glance.

_“Am I Going Down?_ ”, he read and turned back to the window but not fast enough to miss Neil’s smirk.

“It calculates the risk for a plane crash for your plane. Wait, let me check.”, he explained and grabbed his boarding pass. “We’re Airbuss A330 on the flight from Indianapolis to- hey”, he said as Andrew stole his phone and turned it off.

“Fuck you, Josten.”

“I was just trying to help.”, Neil insisted convincing no one. Andrew went back to ignoring him. A stewardess came over to them and offered something to drink. As much as Andrew hated to interact with strangers the flight would be easier to endure drunk. So he ordered a vodka orange and crammed in his bag for headphones. After untangling them he selected a movie from the TV screen on the back of the seat in front of him and did his best to ignore everything else for the next three hours.

They took a taxi to the hotel and Neil checked them in while Andrew scanned the foyer for potential threats. The hotel itself was fancier than the one they stayed in for away games. He had to stare an employee down who wanted to take his luggage. They were on one of the higher floors which meant a good view of the city but also a more complicated escape route. Technically there was a staircase in case of emergencies but opening the doors would trigger an alarm. The elevators all had cameras in them so there was no real way to flee unless Neil wanted to rappel down the facade of the building. Which just for the record he would do alone because there was no way Andrew would do that.

Judging from Neil’s facial expression he had similar thoughts. His jaw was clenched the whole way to their room and he hesitated a moment before opening the door with his key card. After Andrew stepped inside he understood why.

“You’re sleeping on the floor.”, Andrew informed him and threw his bag on the queen sized bed. He heard Neil closing the door behind him.

“Why would I be the one sleeping on the floor? You’re my bodyguard. I’m paying you!”

“Not enough to sleep on the floor.”, he insisted. His finger itched to reach for his knives but they were still in his bag that he had claimed as luggage. His arms felt weirdly light without the securing weight of them in his armbands.

“Fuck this, I’ll sleep in the bath tub.”, Neil said and opened the bathroom door and stepped inside. It took him several tries to find the light switch in the dark because Andrew heard him uttering insults. The curses became louder and Neil stuck his head out. “They only have a shower.”

“Have fun trying to sleep in there.”, Andrew said and let himself fall on the bed. Everything about this shitty trip was a mistake. He was blaming Coach Misra for this.

Neil rolled his eyes.

“Fuck you, Minyard. It’s not like you take up any space. We can share the bed.”

Andrew flipped him off but Neil only snorted. “Very adult of you. I don’t actually move in my sleep so it should be fine. You can still say ‘no homo’ afterwards if that makes you feel better.”

In moments like these Andrew understood why some mothers shook their babies when they didn’t know what else to do with them. How the fuck was he supposed to react to that? “You’re so stupid.”, he whispered disbelievingly. “How are you still alive?”

Neil settled down on the other half of the bed and made himself comfortable. Andrew felt the urge to push him off the bed but since Neil had to look pretty for the interview tomorrow, he decided against it. A domestic violence rumour was no good way to start any relationship, may it be fake or real. They stayed like this, Neil on his phone probably texting with Matt or watching exy games and Andrew on his new eReader, until they had to get ready for bed. They still pointedly ignored each other even when Neil came out of the bathroom, switched the light switch off and crawled under the blanket.

Andrew didn’t dare to breathe. He didn’t move, he didn’t make a sound, he simply waited. He hated himself for it. For the helplessness he felt, the fear that settled down in his guts. True to his word Neil didn’t shuffle around or turned from one side to the other. Andrew stared into the darkness and waited until Neil’s breathing evened out before closing his own eyes and trying to get some rest.

 

 

Despite it being over five years since he burned his mother’s dead body on a beach, he thought they were still on the run when he woke up. They were in a hotelroom and someone was lying next to him. Of course his brain jumped to the obvious conclusion that it was his mother. Only when he reached for his phone to silence his alarm he remembered who he was. He had been Neil Josten for nearly as long as he had been Nathaniel. Thinking of himself als Alex again hurt, even if it was for a moment. Thinking that his mother was still alive hurt as well. What hurt even more was the guilt because sometimes he was glad that she was dead.

It felt selfish. She gave her life protecting him and he did the exact opposite of what she had told him to do. He looked at his phone and remembered that he didn’t actually have the time to dwell on the past. He had to get ready for the morning show.

When he looked over his shoulder he found Andrew still sleeping. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to wake him up. He had assumed that the alarm would wake him up as well but it hadn’t. The last time he had woken up Andrew he had ended up with his back against the wall and a knife pressed in his abdomen. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to repeat this experience. Maybe he could throw something at Andrew once he was out of reach? A shoe maybe.

Neil slowly slid out of the bed and found Andrew wide awake when he turned around. The whole thing was awkward but Neil ignored it since they didn’t have the time for their usual banter. „We have to be in the lobby in ten.“, he said skipping the ‚Good Morning‘ part, grabbed his clothes and locked himself in the bathroom to change. When he caught the reflection of himself in the mirror he froze. He had forgotten to put his contact lenses in. He never forgot about his contact lenses. Shit. Fuck. Fuck.

Had Andrew noticed? Probably not since the room had been dark. But he would notice when Neil came back out of the bathroom to grab the case. He had hoped that Andrew would eventually forget about it but the midget didn’t stop pestering him about it at every goddamn occasion. Should he tell Andrew to go ahead and wait until he left the room? Or should he try to go back for his lenses and hope that Andrew wouldn’t notice. The choice was taken from him when Andrew knocked against the door.

„Hurry up, Josten. I need to take a piss.“

Neil took a deep breath before opening the door avoiding Andrew’s gaze. Andrew stepped closer, grabbed him by the chin and forced him to look down to meet Andrew’s glare. Neither of them said anything while Andrew studied his face with a thoughtful expression.

Then he let go off Neil and stepped back. Neil used the opportunity to squeeze himself past Andrew and collapse on the bed. He must have fallen asleep again because he woke up when someone kicked his leg.

„You’re late.“, Andrew told him with a bored look. Neil reached for his phone and checked the time. Then he let out series of curse words.

„Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?“,he complained as he ushered Andrew out of the room who did his best to move as slowly as possible. Could the stop playing this stupid power games for once? It was not like he wanted to talk to a TV host but what he wanted even less was another lecture from Coach Misra about responsibility. Andrew shrugged and tried to press all the buttons in the elevator. Only Neil’s reflexes as an athlete made it possible for him to stop Andrew from doing that.

On occasions like this he wondered why he had hired a man child as a bodyguard. If it wasn’t for Matt’s insistence that Andrew actually knew what he was doing, he would have fired him after day one. Okay, so maybe Andrew had done one or two good things like when he helped Neil out of his panic attack. But Neil’s point was still standing, Andrew’s sole purpose in life seemed to be annoying the shit out of Neil.

The woman that waited for them in the lobby didn’t say a word about their fifteen minute delay though she gave Neil a side eye for his sleep ruffled hair. She escorted them to a car and took her seat on the front passenger seat. The ride was short and uneventful.

Kathy greeted them in the front before herding Neil towards the changing rooms to get ready. Neil had barely time to look back to see where Andrew was going. „No worries, your boyfriend gets a front seat. Except you want him next to you on the couch?“

Neil’s life passed in front of his eyes as he tried to imagine Andrew being asked questions on a morning talk show. „It’s fine.“, he managed before he was pushed in a chair. The make up artist told him to close his eyes immediately and started putting generous amounts of foundation on his face. „What do you say to a little bit eyeliner? It would bring out the blue in your eyes even more.“

For a second Neil forgot how to breathe. He had forgotten to put in his contact lenses _again_. After Andrew had woken him up his only thoughts had been that he didn’t want to be late. He had completely forgotten about his eyes. He silently cursed Andrew before making an affirmative sound.

After what felt like an eternity his makeup was finally done and he was ushered into a changing room to put on another outfit. It wasn’t too different from what Andrew made him wear nowadays. A guy with a headset already waited for him when he got out and steered him towards the side of the stage.

„You’re up in ten, nine“, he told him and then proceeded to make a countdown with his fingers. Neil wanted to roll his eyes at the ridiculousness but went on stage when his queue came. Kathy Ferdinand was already waiting for him with open arms which meant that he was supposed to give her a hug. He tried to get over it as quickly as possible and then took his seat.

“Neil, it’s so nice to have you on the show.”, she said and smiled at him expectantly. It reminded him of a shark smile and he nodded. “I see it’s still a little early for you. Neil, you’re only in your first season as professional exy player and you already made it to national television.“

Neil shrugged. „It doesn’t exactly have to do with me playing exy, has it? People are still narrow minded enough that being in a gay relationship equals a scandal. It’s not like I would sit here if I was dating a girl.“ 

Kathy smile didn’t falter. „It doesn’t help that your boyfriend was one of the most promising exy players of this century before he decided not to pursue his career. How does that affect your relationship?“

„Well, since we don’t talk about exy at all, it doesn’t.“

„So what do you talk about then?“

„About how people should mind their own business. And why people think they’re entitled to invade others personal life just because those people happen to be on television from time to time.“

„I see.“, she said. „Neil, I heard one of your favorite exy teams are the Black Swans. I think you’ll be excited to hear that we also invited their star player for this interview.“


	8. Waiting For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil flames people on national television. He and Andrew exchange truths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry that I left you sitting on a kind of cliffhanger for so long but I was struggling with writing this a lot. I also found out that my mysterious headaches were coming from my wisdom teeth being all weird and had them removed, so there is that. A big thank you for everyone leaving comments and/or kudos. They are all greatly appreciated.

The audience must have realised who Kathy Ferdinand had been referring to instantly because her introduction got lost in the noise. The applause was deafening as they clapped their hands and stomped with their feet, soon finding a common rhythm. Not before long they started to chant.

_King, King, King, King._

Neil shot a look to Andrew as Riko Moriyama walked out on stage. Andrew was already half out of his seat so Neil shook his head, hoping to get the message across. He didn’t know what happened between Andrew and Riko but from what he gathered Andrew seemed to hate his guts. Whatever it was, Neil was more than capable to handle the younger Moriyama brother.

„How does it feel to sit on the same couch as the best exy player in the US? “, Kathy asked and Neil realised that he must have zoned out on them. Riko had taken his seat next to him after greeting Kathy Ferdinand. He was sitting a little too close but Neil was already sitting on the end of the couch with no possibility to move away.

„Did you also invite Kevin?“, he blurted out looking around. He only saw Andrew out of the corner of his eye but he could swear that the other man was laughing. He hadn’t seen Andrew look anything but bored or mildly annoyed. It must have been his imagination. But then Riko shifted next to him, forcing him to direct his attention back at him. Riko was smiling but it didn’t reach his eyes. „It has been over ten years since we last played against each other, so he wouldn’t be able to tell.”

“Everyone with eyes can _see_ who the better player is.”, Neil remarked trying not to sound too annoyed.

Kathy fake gasped, putting a hand in front of her mouth. “You two already know each other? How come?”

Neil hesitated for a second and Riko used the moment to answer.

“Neil’s fraternal family is american and used to live close to Edgar Allen. We actually played in the Little Leagues together before he moved back to the UK.”

“After so many years apart, you have found each other again. Can we get a round of applause for this reunion, please?”

Neil’s gaze met Andrew’s and Neil found himself unable to look away. On the first look Andrew’s expression was bored, maybe even mocking, the way he slow clapped and raised an eyebrow at Neil. But Neil also noticed the tension in Andrew’s shoulders. A hand landed on his knee and Neil flinched despite himself. 

“I’m right here.”, Riko said in a low voice leaning into Neil’s personal space.

“I’m aware.”, Neil whispered back finally breaking eye contact with Andrew. He met Riko’s stare unimpressed. Riko leaned back but kept his hand where it was. Neil raised both his eyebrows at that and gave a pointed look to the unwelcome hand on his knee. It took a moment to get the message across but Riko withdrew his hand.

“It’s a shame that he had to move so quickly.”, Riko said after the clapping had ended, the fake smile back on his face. “We considered making him court.”

This time Kathy’s gasp wasn’t faked. Neither was the reaction of the audience. “As in perfect court?”, she asked in awe. Riko gave her a patronising smile and tapped with his index finger on the tattoo on his cheek bone.

“We wanted to take the pressure of his shoulders for his first season as a professional player. We all know how easy it is to be … crushed by the expectations. But it looks like the cat is out of the bag.”, he answered smugly. Neil couldn’t help but frown.

“I don’t remember ever agreeing to be brand marked as an inferior player to you. ”, he said which earned him a frosty look from Riko but he ignored it. “I don’t want to be number four. Where would my room for improvement be? I would forever be the fourth best player, so no thanks. I’d rather be number one. Also what the f-”, he only remembered then that it was not a good idea to swear in a morning show. “what is the concept of the perfect court? The strongest individual players added up together don’t make the strongest team. I know I’m supposed to feel flattered for the opportunity to play with Kevin but I’m very happy with my current team and I see no reason to change.”

Riko’s eyes screamed downright murder but he still managed to keep his smile for the camera. “I don’t know how they play exy in the UK but let me assure you that things work differently around here.”

Kathy cut in before Neil could raise his voice to answer. “Speaking of the perfect court, do you have other members in mind? It’s been years and it’s still just the three of you.”

“When you’re going for quality, one has to be picky.”, Riko replied smoothly and Neil couldn’t help but snort at that. Riko gave him side-eye but continued: “And I’m sure Neil will change his mind after he has fully adapted to his new environment.”

She must have realised that it was a bad idea to let Neil speak if she didn’t want her talk show to end up in a fist fight. So Kathy spoke again without giving Neil the chance to answer. “And we’re all looking forward to that development. Thank you for joining me on the couch this early in the morning.”, she said and made the cut to the commercials. Kathy turned around to say something to them but Neil was already on his feet and off the stage within seconds. He didn’t care if he acted rude, he wanted to go home. It still felt weird to speak to cameras and be so openly _seen_. The instinct to blend in with the crowd was still there even if he had given up hiding years ago.

It always took him some time to calm down after an interview. He wasn’t nervous when he was in front of the camera but the moment it was over his head started to feel light. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears and his hands felt sweaty. His breathing hitched when someone bumped into him. When he turned around he realized that Riko must have followed him.

With the cameras gone there was no reason for him anymore to conceal his murderous expression so Riko’s face was an angry snarl. Before he could react Neil was shoved against the wall and Riko stepped in front of him. Riko was taller than him but not by much. He wasn’t exactly towering over Neil but he still had to look up. It was quite annoying but he was used to it at this point in his life.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”, Neil hissed instead of outright kneeing Riko in the balls. He could get benched for the season if he got caught injuring another player. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t do it if it came down to it.

“I could ask you the same thing.”, Riko replied leaning down and placing both his hands to either side of Neil’s head. “Don’t forget who you belong to.”

While he had only been irritated earlier Neil was getting uncomfortable. If he didn’t want to physically harm Riko, he had no way to leave and that guy seemed delusional. 

“Same goes to you.”, Neil answered looking over Riko’s shoulder to ensure that nobody was listening to their conversation. He couldn’t believe that they had to have this discussion in semi public. “You’re not a part of the main house.”

The rage in Riko’s face suggested that Neil had found a weak spot. Riko raised his right hand and Neil couldn’t help but flinch but the blow never came. It seemed as if Andrew who was holding Riko by the wrist had appeared out of the nowhere. He was trying for his usual neutral, slightly bored expression but he didn’t manage too well. If anything he looked tense.

“Didn’t we talk about that, Riko? I don’t like sharing my things.”, he said in a sweet voice. He stepped closer to them and Neil could spot the glint of a knife from the corner of his eyes. It didn’t take much guessing on where Andrew was pointing it.

“You can’t claim ownership over something that has never been yours, Minyard. What belongs to me, stays with me.”, he answered twisting his arm to free it of Andrew’s grip. “Haven’t you learnt anything from last time?”, he added with a bemused expression.

Neil was about ninety percent sure that Andrew was going to stab Riko right there but to his surprise Andrew smiled back. “How about you let go of _my boyfriend_ before I call the security?”, he said.

Riko’s expression darkened but he moved backward. Andrew used the chance to step in the open space between them, shielding Neil from the threat. Neil didn’t fully understand what kind of power play they were up to. But he did know that they were causing a scene. He carefully reached forward and gave Andrew’s sleeve a tug. It didn’t seem like a good idea to actually touch Andrew in this moment judging by the tense set of his shoulders. “Let’s go.”, he said in a low voice before Andrew could start a fight. Or Riko. It was really hard to tell who was going to make the first move.

At first Neil thought that Andrew was going to ignore him but then Andrew grabbed his hand and started walking. Neil had no choice but to follow and gladly went along. He didn’t look back to see Riko’s face because he wasn’t sure if he could keep his tongue. Instead of back to the changing rooms Andrew headed directly for the back exit where a cab was already waiting for them.

Only when they had to climb into the cab, Neil noticed that they were still holding hands. They let go because it was difficult to fasten your seatbelt with only one hand and neither of them reached out for the others hand again. Holding hands was one of the things that were expected from a couple so they would probably have to do it more often. Neil couldn’t say that he particularly minded it much. Andrew’s hands were nice and warm. Opposed to that his own hands had calluses from his racquet and they tended to get sweaty when he was nervous or too warm.

“Aren’t you brits supposed to be polite?”, Andrew asked out of the blue.

“Don’t believe everything you see on Downton Abbey.”, Neil answered dryly. Andrew snorted and neither of them said anything for the rest of the drive.

They told the cab driver to wait when they arrived at the hotel since they only had to go up to grab their bags. After Neil inserted the key card and opened the door to their room, he remember that he did not pack any of his stuff before leaving. In fact he had made an even bigger mess when they left in a hurry this morning. Great.

With a sigh he picked up a shirt from the floor and threw it in the general direction of his bag. All he wanted to do right now was sleep but they still had to catch their flight back to Indianapolis. The click behind him indicated that Andrew had closed the door. Neil stepped into the small bathroom to gather his toiletries and put his contact lenses back in. When he caught a look of himself in the mirror he paused. He had forgotten about the eyeliner. He leaned forward and tilted his head a little. After a moment he decided that he liked it. It made him look different. The resemblance to his father was still there but less noticeable. He’d have to ask Alvarez or Dan to teach him.

Andrew said something but Neil didn’t understand any of it. He made a questioning noise while grabbing his contact lenses. Andrew said it again but Neil was still not able to understand any of it. “What?”, he said as he put the first lense in his left eye.

“I said, why didn’t you tell me earlier that Riko is your stalker?”, Andrew repeated now leaning against the doorframe. He nodded in Neil’s direction. “What are you doing?”

“Stabbing myself in the eye.”, Neil answered, untwisted the second lid and fished the other lense out. “I have brown eyes on my ID.”, he added when he caught Andrew’s unimpressed stare in the mirror. He hoped that the implication of not wanting to get into trouble with the airport security was enough for Andrew to drop the topic. As it turned out it was and that brought them back to Andrew’s original question.

“Why would you think that Riko is my stalker?”, Neil asked. “He’s a dick, sure, but-”

“Did you get an offer from the Black Swans when you went pro?”, Andrew interrupted him. Neil threw his toothbrush in a bag before closing it and turned around to go back to the bedroom. Neil looked at Andrew expectantly but the other man made no inclination to move.

“Yes.”, Neil said and Andrew stepped aside letting Neil pass through. “Although I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

“It’s pretty obvious.”, Andrew pointed out as he flopped on the bed. His bag was already standing fully packed next to the door. He must have packed it before they went to the studio when Neil had fallen asleep again. Luckily they had only packed for a day so there was a very limited amount of clothes that were lying around the room. He regretted packing his gym clothes though. Not only because it was a reminder that he didn’t have the time to work out but also because his left running shoe was missing.

“Geez thanks, and here was I thinking that they wanted me for my ability to play exy. ”, he said as he lowered himself to all fours to look under the bed. And indeed there it was. How it got there was a mystery to him though.

“You sound like you don’t believe me.”

“That’s because I think your theory is bullshit.”

“Why didn’t you go play with them then?”, Andrew asked. Neil looked up but Andrew was busy typing something on his phone. “It’s a better team. I guess the salary would have been higher, too.”

“Maybe I liked the challenge. ”, Neil answered absently while crawling under the bed to retrieve his shoe. He could hear Andrew making a humming sound. For some reason it annoyed the shit out if him. “What?”, he asked once he emerged from under the bed.

“Oh, I just thought that you’d finally stop lying.”, Andrew said. “But looks like Pinocchio is never going to be a real boy.”

Neil scowled at the reference and stood up. “Do we have to have this discussion right now?”, he asked. “The cab is still waiting.”

“You don’t make sense.”, Andrew argued and if Neil didn’t knew better he’d say that he sounded frustrated. But he stood up even so and followed Neil after grabbing his own bag. “It doesn’t add up.”

Their driver gave them a stinky eye when they came back and kept mumbling something to himself. Neil was honestly too tired for bullshit like that but he didn’t have the energy left to actually care enough to say anything. He was tired, wanted a shower and more importantly his bed. Maybe he could catch some sleep on the flight. Not that he had high hopes in that. Airports still made him feel itchy. It didn't matter that he had been using his passport for years now and never had a problem with it. It was fake, yes, but it was as close as it could get to a real one. Still, old fears die hard. He would always hear his mother in his head hissing not to act too suspicious during the security check. Sometimes he found himself looking for flights somewhere else where nobody would recognise him. Checking In went by without an issue. They were quite early for their flight and still had some time to spare. Neil went to get them something to eat - a granola and an apple for himself and a sandwich for Andrew- while Andrew went into a souvenir shop.

He had seen Andrew do that at every airport they had been to so far and he couldn’t help but feel a little curious. It was hard to believe that Andrew was one to buy key chains with different city names or shirts with the print "I went to Las Vegas and all I got was this lousy t-shirt". He also didn't seem to be one to write postcards or even collect them. According to his own words Andrew didn't care for anything. But yet here he was buying a glass figurine. Neil ducked behind a pillar as Andrew turned away from the cashier and left the shop. He didn't know why he did it but somehow he didn't want Andrew to know that he had been staring.

"What are you doing there?", Andrew asked in a bored voice. Neil tried his best not to flinch as he was still not used to the other man popping up out of nothing. It seemed as if he always knew where Neil was.

"Nothing.", Neil said hastily and pressed the sandwich in Andrew's hand. "I didn't know what you like so I got you the one with tomato and mozzarella.” Andrew looked at him and then at the sandwich in his hand. He shrugged and then narrowed his eyes.

"Where's yours?", he asked and it took Neil a moment to realise what Andrew meant. he lifted his other hand to show him his food and Andrew snorted.

"What?", Neil asked as he unwrapped the granola bar. "It's the best that I could find."

"Or you could eat something that is not on your diet list. Like real food."

It was Neil's turn to snort. "As if they are selling actual food in an airport. It’s fine. I like fruit.", he added and took a bite from his apple to make a point. Andrew looked away and busied himself with unwrapping his sandwich. They ate in silence leaning against the pillar watching their surroundings.

"Thanks for stepping in with Riko earlier.", Neil said after he finished his granola bar as well. He should have saved the apple for last because his mouth felt dry. It was only now that he realised that he had forgotten to buy them something to drink.

"I was just doing my job.", Andrew answered without meeting Neil’ gaze.

"And I was just trying to be nice here.", Neil countered. "Take the fucking gratitude and shove it up your ass, you prick."

Andrew gave him a side eye and Neil could swear that his lips were twitching. He could feel the small smile on his own face.

"Don't be like that in public, pretty boy.", Andrew said in his flat yet mocking voice. "Otherwise we have to read about our break up in the gossip paper tomorrow morning."

"What if we made up then?", Neil suggested. Andrew's face switched from slightly amused to blank. He wouldn’t have noticed a week ago but he gradually became better at Andrew’s facial expressions. "I mean, we could like hold hands or something. Nobody would think we were fighting if we're holding hands.", he added.

"Yes.", Andrew said to Neil's surprise and turned his head to face him. "Because everyone would think that we're middle schoolers. Holding hands, for fuck's sake what is wrong with you, Josten?”

“You’re the one who said that we need some body contact to make this dating scheme believable. ”, Neil answered defensively. Andrew tugged absently at his armbands and said nothing.

An announcement told them that their plane was ready to board and they exchanged a look before heading for the gate. After they took their seats a stewardess came up to them to ask if they wanted anything to drink. Neil ordered a water for himself and then gave Andrew a questioning look who just shook his head.

Sitting and waiting for the plane to take off was one of the most boring things about taking a plane. When you were in the air you at least had the feeling of going somewhere. But they were still stuck on the ground. He considered antagonizing Andrew again but it felt wrong making fun of Andrew after he had stood up for him against Riko. He looked really pale. Neil didn't even notice that his leg had started bouncing until Andrew pressed it down for a short moment to get the message across. He scowled at Neil and then continued looking in the front with a grim expression. Neil started bouncing his leg again to see how long it would take for Andrew to react. He didn’t have anything better to do anyways. He counted in his head in japanese and he only came to twenty-two when Andrew's hand landed on his knee again.

"Keep it still or I will hold it down for the entire fuckin' flight. ", Andrew hissed as he turned to face Neil and withdrew his hand again. Neil held the eye contact started bouncing his leg again. Andrew swore under his breath and Neil could feel his own lips twitching. With Andrew's hand settled on his knee it was impossible for him to release his restless energy. He considered starting to bounce with his other leg to see how Andrew would react but ultimately decided against it.

It was the complete opposite to earlier the day when Riko had put his hand on Neil’s leg. It had felt uncomfortable and Neil had just wanted for the hand to be gone. But he didn’t mind Andrew’s hand at all. If anything it felt grounding in a way. Maybe even a little relaxing. It wasn't until the plane took off that he realised that this feeling possibly went both ways as Andrew's fingers started to tighten their grip. Despite his threat to keep him from bouncing his leg for the entire flight, andrew withdrew his hand after half an hour into the flight. His leg felt weirdly light without the pressure and heat of Andrew's hand on it. Neil did his best to ignore his instinct to reach out for the hand and place it back on his knee. He didn't start jiggling with his leg again until they were about to land. Andrew gave him another stinky eye but settled his hand on Neil's knee regardless.

After they landed and turned the airplane mode off, Neil had to discover that his notifications were blowing up. He wasn't really active on social media but whenever he did an interview he would be tagged in numerous post on several platforms. Matt had also sent him the highlights of his favorite tweets along with a link to a youtube video. It was a song from a kids show but his face was edited over some guy in in blue and Riko’s face was on the head of some guys dressed in violet. The title was “We are Number One (Rekt Mimosa Version)” and it had over twenty thousand views already. Neil has the suspicion that Matt had made the video himself. Other than that he had several missed calls from Coach Misra along with a text message simply saying 'call me back'. It was amazing how she could sound vaguely threatening with three words. He scrolled down his notification as they waited for Andrew’s bag at the baggage claim. His stalker had also left some message there for him. Lovely.

Instead of the usual "You're are mine" messages it were incredibly detailed descriptions how he was going to torture Neil and how much fun he would have doing it. He handed his phone wordlessly to Andrew whose brows narrowed. He opened the message app and started typing when he seemed to change his mind. Instead he clicked around a few times and the messages were gone.

"What did you do?", Neil asked looking over his shoulder.

"Block him.", Andrew told him as he gave him back his phone. "And that's what you're gonna do from now on when he tries to talk to you from a different number."

"Won't that make him even angrier?", Neil asked and Andrew hummed. "Why would you want to make him angrier?"

"Angry people make mistakes.", was all Andrew had to say before handing Neil his phone back.

Andrew didn't seem in the mood to talk judging by the music that was blasting from the stereo on their drive back to Neil's apartment. Neil waited in the car until Andrew texted him that the apartment was clear. He got his bag from the trunk and was about to head directly to the shower when Andrew stopped him in the hallway.

"We have to talk about earlier.", Andrew said. It took Neil a moment to realise that he meant their argument back at the hotel room. He shrugged.

"Can this wait until after I take a shower?" Andrew gave him a sharp nod and then stepped aside. He hurried in the shower, nearly knocking over his shampoo bottle. He caught it within the last moment though. The last thing he wanted was Andrew storming in because he thought that he slipped and fell in the shower. He had forgotten to get new clothes with him in the bathroom. He hoped that Andrew was waiting in the living room as he went out of the bathroom and rushed to his room in nothing but a towel. He chose his most worn out sweater and his comfiest pair of sweats since he deserved it after the day he had had. He hoped that he could get the talk behind him quickly since he still had to call Coach Misra back.

True to his prediction Andrew sat on the couch with a pint of ice cream in his lap and a spoon hanging out of his mouth. Neil sat down on the other end of the couch and hugged a pillow to his chest.

"This is not working out.", Andrew opened the conversation. "I can't keep my side of the deal when you don't hold up yours."

"I haven't been lying.", Neil insisted. "Much.", he added on an after thought. Andrew didn’t seem to appreciate Neil’s sense of humor. He just continued to stare at Neil blank faced.

"You've been keeping valuable information from me that could have helped me to protect you."

"Like what?"

"What's your deal with the Moriyamas?", Andrew asked and Neil could feel the blood in his veins turn into ice. He hoped that his expression didn't give him away but he knew that his face must have become a little too blank to be believable.

"I don't know what you're talking about.", he answered and Andrew put his ice cream on the couch table. Then he leaned forward, not yet in Neil's personal space but still close enough for Neil to notice the freckles on Andrew’s nose.

"What did I tell you about lying?" 

"It makes my nose grow?", Neil countered in a weak attempt to loosen up the tension in the room. Judging by Andrew's furrowed brow it didn't work. "What do the Moriyamas have to do with all this?"

"You should know best.", Andrew replied. "Why does Riko think that he owns you?"

Neil said nothing and Andrew sighed. “This is not going to work, is it, Pinocchio?”

When Neil remained silent Andrew ran his fingers through his hair. It was unusually expressive for him and Neil couldn’t help but take in every little detail from Andrew’s strong arms to the hair that fell back to his face.

“Let’s try something else then. A truth for a truth.”, he said. “You answer me and in return I answer any question that you have.”

Neil thought about it for a moment before nodding. “How much do you know about the Moriyamas?”

“Is that your question?”, Andrew asked and Neil realised his mistake and scowled at him.

“No, I’m trying to figure out how much you already know so that I don’t have to tell you things you already know.”

“They are a mafia family divided in main and side branch. The main house is where the actual mafia business happens while the side branch lead by Tetsuji is where they launder their money. Kengo was the old head of the main branch, Ichirou is in charge now. Riko also belong to the side branch and will take over when Tetsuji dies. Kevin was given him as some sort of pet but when Kevin turned out to be better at exy than he was-", Andrew made a crunching sound while closing one of his fists. Neil couldn’t help but flinch. “he broke Kevin’s hand.”

Neil pondered a moment how he could explain his situation without giving too many details away. “The Moriyama’s are not just any mafia family. They control the entire eastern side of the country. My father worked for them and when I was ten I was supposed to be given to Tetsuji. But my mother took me with her and fled the country. After she died and I had nowhere else to go I went to my uncle, my mother’s brother. He couldn’t protect me from the Moriyama’s but he helped me to make a deal with them. I’m an investment of the main branch, so they get most of my salary.”, he shrugged. “I don’t know why Riko thinks he has a say in any of it.”

Andrew leaned forward again but this time he flicked his fingers against Neil’s forehead.

“What the fuck was that for?”, Neil asked.

“For being an idiot.” When Neil glared at Andrew, he rolled his eyes. “You have a hitman uncle and your idea of handling things is insulting Riko on national television? Sounds pretty idiotic to me.”

“It’s my turn.”, Neil tried to change the topic definitely not sulking. But Andrew just hummed.

“But you already did your’s.”

Neil tilted his head in confusion until he realised what Andrew meant. “Son of a-”

“I give you a truth for free though.”, Andrew said generously. “My favorite sort of ice cream is cookie dough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rekt Mimosa.


	9. Trust In Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin shows up uninvited (but not drunk for once) and not everyone is happy about it. Also what's up with Neil's running shoes?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on the fic that hasn't updated in a month: After his mother died Neil went to his family to the UK and played Exy there. After his graduation he came back to the US professionally but it doesn't take long until he has a stalker. He hires Andrew as a bodyguard but because an incident in a coffee shop they have to start fake dating because of the press. After a tv interview Andrew is convinced that Riko is Neil's stalker because Riko is a shady bastard and he's part of a huge mafia family. Neil works for the Moriyamas, but for the main branch and doesn't think much of that theory. 
> 
> Big thank you to my lovely bro and the amazing Eli for beta reading this chapter. Also you're more than welcome to say Hi on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/gaylittlezombiebaby).

“Andrew.” Neil shouted over his shoulder and waited for the other man to come trotting into the kitchen. Judging from his oversized hoodie, his ruffled hair and a pair of thickly framed glasses Andrew had just woken up. He gave Neil a nod which was as close as it got to a ‘Good Morning’ before turning the coffee maker on. By now Neil had learnt better than to expect actual conversations with Andrew before his first coffee. He opened one of the cabinets, put the sugar wordlessly in Andrew’s reach and waited.

Andrew put an unholy amount of sugar in his coffee and took a sip. He scrunched his nose up and padded to the fridge. He opened it and reached for the milk, then trotted back to his cup and poured it in his coffee. He took another sip, seemingly satisfied with the result but then froze. He reached for the milk carton and then narrowed his eyes at Neil.

“Rice milk?”, he asked and Neil shrugged.

“It’s sweeter.”

Andrew held his gaze for a few more second before turning around and putting the milk back in the fridge. Neil turned back to the sink and remembered why he had wanted to talk to Andrew in first place.

“Andrew. Your dishes are still in the sink.”

“You don’t have a dishwasher.”, Andrew answered unimpressed and took another sip of his coffee.

“If you’re not tall enough to reach the sink to wash up then I can get a foot ladder for you.”

“I’m hired as your bodyguard not as your fucking cleaning lady.”

“And I don’t see why I have to pay you for making a mess and cleaning up after you. You live here, too.”

“What do I get out of it?”, Andrew asked, putting his coffee mug to the other dishes in the sink. Neil fought the urge to strangle him.

“The satisfaction of being a useful member of society?”, Neil offered. “My eternal gratitude?”

“Three truths.”, Andrew suggested. “And I’ll do the dishes.”

“How about no truths and I don’t kick your sorry ass.”

Andrew arched an eyebrow. “Think you could take me in a fight, Josten?”

“Hand to hand combat? Any day.”, Neil said mindlessly. Somehow this woke Andrew up for good because he pushed his glasses up, his gaze fixed on Neil. His entire stance had changed from relaxed to ready to fight with the blink of an eye.

“Show me.”

Neil snorted. What did Andrew expect him to do? Fight him in the middle of the kitchen when he had practice in half an hour?

“Then help me cleaning and we’ll see about it. Also, have you seen my running shoes by any chance?”

Neil cast a glance to Andrew in the driving seat next to him and then went back to looking out of the window. It had been a few days since he had told him about his past. Well, parts of it. But it didn't seem to bother Andrew at all. Nothing in his behaviour towards Neil had changed. When he had been on the run his mother had always reminded him to lie about everything. It had been a necessity. He wasn't running anymore but he was still part of a mafia network with a fake identity. Stuart had advised him to stick to his persona as Neil Josten and never let anyone in his new life hear his real name. He wouldn't let Andrew know that Neil wasn't his real name. But Andrew already knew more about Neil than everyone he had met in the last five years.

"We're there.", Andrew informed him as he loosened his seat belt. Neil snapped out of his thoughts. The drive to the exy stadium had been shorter than expected. Maybe it was because he was used to running there.

"Thanks.", he said and climbed out of the car. Andrew scoffed and lit a cigarette. He leaned against the car and waited while Neil got his bag from the trunk. Neil led the way and nodded to the security guards at the gate.

"You're late. Hurry up and get dressed", Coach Misra greeted them when they entered the lounge. Neil ducked his head and made a beeline for the changing rooms. It wasn't that he was late on purpose. Usually he was the first one to arrive so he had the changing rooms for himself but this morning he hadn't been able to find his running shoes (again). He suspected that Andrew hid them but didn't have enough evidence to confront him about that yet. He could also have already changed at home but that would arise suspicion and that wasn't anything that he could afford. Neil Josten was an average Joe with a talent for exy. Nothing in his carefully crafted persona could explain the scars on his torso.

"Did lover boy make you late?", Alvarez asked him with a wink in spanish as Neil came back to the lounge. Neil scowled and answered in the same language.

"I couldn't find my running shoes." Somehow Alvarez and her girlfriend Dermott found that funny as they both started laughing. Neil had given up trying to understand them months ago. Their conversations were always a mix of inside jokes and obscure pop culture references. He had given his best to catch up on pop culture since it was apparently suspicious to have never read a Harry Potter book or seen one of the movies. But he had the feeling that no matter how many movies he watched or books he read, he could never catch up with the two girls.

"How many languages do you speak again?", Matt asked from the couch. “Dan says ‘Hi’ by the way.”

"I was a language major in college.", Neil answered dodging the actual question. Andrew looked up from his phone and glanced at Neil for a moment considering.

"Sprichst du deutsch?"

"Besser als du.", Neil couldn't help but say. He frowned. "Your accent is awful. Where did you learn that?"

Andrew shrugged unimpressed. "Blame my cousin."

"Your cousin is german?"

"No, but he's fucking one."

Coach Misra cleared her throat. “While it’s great that you all have fun showing off your language skills, let’s switch back to english.” Neil ducked his head and tried to hide the blush that was creeping up his face. “We have a serious challenge ahead of us if we want to qualify for the ECU cup and we need to beat the Aces with at least two points. Five if possible so we have a polster for upcoming games. Williams, will you take over?”

The captain stood up and stepped next to the coach. Andrew took this as his cue to leave the room since he wasn’t a part of the team and therefore not allowed to be a part of the team meeting. “I went through our lineup with Coach on the weekend. This is the first line.”, she said with a nod to the plasma screen. Neil tried not to feel disappointed when he didn’t spot his name there. He was still a rookie after all. Even if he had better stats than Keahi he was still getting used to the team. He didn’t notice that he had spaced out until Williams raised her voice slightly. “We still need a second goalie sub since it has been confirmed that Oliver is down for the rest of the season.”

Misra sent a meaningful glance to Neil who just shrugged helplessly. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to ask Andrew about exy. But every time the topic had changed to exy Andrew had either rolled his eyes or blown smoke in his face after calling him a junkie. While Andrew insisted that he didn’t care enough for exy to have any kind of opinion of it, Neil couldn’t help but think that he was lying. The rest of the meeting went by rather quickly, followed by their warm up and some drills. It had taken him some time to get used to the new drills. It sometimes felt like he had learnt a different game in England.

After a short water break they played a scrimmage that came to an abrupt halt when Keahi ran straight into a plexiglass wall. Everyone stopped whatever they were doing and Neil heard a squeak from Alvarez. He turned around to see Kevin Day standing next to Coach observing the game.

“What the fuck is he doing here?”, asked Cheng, their other striker. But Alvarez and Dermott had already abandoned their position and stormed to the sidelines. Neil gave the stadium a quick one over but he couldn’t spot Andrew anywhere. That itself wasn’t unusual since Andrew hardly showed any interest at their practices. He couldn’t help but wonder if Andrew knew that Kevin was there. And if he did would he be standing next to Kevin right now or avoid him on purpose. Not for the first time he wondered what their relationship in university must have been like.

Since their match was interrupted anyway, Neil followed the other players to the sidelines and left Matt alone to look after Keahi who was spotting a bloody nose.

"We have to take a selfie like ASAP", Dermott declared just as Neil came within hearing range. Coach looked like she had just bitten into a lemon. "Jeremy will be _so_ jealous!"

"You're still in contact with Jeremy?", Kevin asked.

"Duh.", Alvarez said while searching for her phone in her pockets but then realised that she didn't have it on herself. Which made sense since they were at practice and phones were only allowed in the locker rooms. Not that Andrew cared about any of that, it technically didn't involve him since he wasn't a player. But Neil had a rising suspicion that he just kept tapping on his phone to piss the others off. "Coach, can I go and get my phone? It's an emergency."

"If I say no will go back to your position?", Coach asked dryly.

"Thanks, Coach.", Alvarez said and sprinted to the changing room, nearly tripping over her own feet. It was only now that Neil noticed that Matt was still staying back even as the other players came to flock around Kevin. Andrew liked to make fun of Neil for idolising Kevin as the best exy player but it was clear that he wasn't the only one doing that. Matt was the only one who had played with Kevin but he wasn't there like the others to greet him. If anything Matt should have been the first to be there. But then again Andrew's and Matt's interaction hadn’t been much friendlier either. He wondered if Matt's dislike came from Kevin's deal with Andrew or if it was something personal. He made a mental note to ask Matt about this later.

"I couldn't find mine so I took yours, babe.", Alvarez shouted as she came running back to them. Dermott gestured her to hurry up, already standing on Kevin's left side. Alvarez unlocked her girlfriend's phone and opened the camera app.

"Say whiskey!", she said as she snapped a dozen pictures of the three of them smiling. Within a second Dermott was next to her side debating over which picture would be the best to send to Jeremy. The others used the opportunity to engage Kevin in conversation. Coach shook her head but said nothing. Neil didn't know what to do so he just stayed where he was a meter apart from the man that he had envied for most of his life. He didn't notice Matt coming up to them until he gave him a nudge with his racquet. Neil looked over his shoulder and gave Matt a quick smile.

"Don't you want to say hello?", Neil asked and Matt shrugged.

"Not really.", he answered but Kevin must have heard him because he looked up from where he was speaking with Williams. Kevin nodded in Matt's direction.

"Boyd.", he said. Matt gave him a short nod back but said nothing otherwise. Neil felt like he wasn't the only one that noticed this unusual behaviour but this was neither the place nor the time to ask. It would have to wait for later. Maybe Neil could get some additional information out of Dan, too. Thinking about it, both of them had their fair share of anecdotes of their college years but they talked very rarely about either Kevin or Andrew. They were only mentioned in passing or if it was about a game. Dermott squeaked again and brought Neil back to reality.

"He sent a snap back!", she said which won her Kevin’s undivided attention. Neil took a look at Keahi whose nosebleed didn't seem to stop anytime soon and sighed.

"You should go and see the doc.", he said as he hooked Keahi’s arm around his shoulder and helped him walk to the infirmary. Neil was too uncomfortable to actually go inside so he waited outside the door. After a few minutes Andrew came strolling along the corridor.

“Fancy seeing you. You come here often?”, he asked leaning against the wall next to Neil. Instead of giving him a response Neil just scoffed. They stood in silence for a while.

“Truth for a truth?”, Andrew asked finally. Neil nodded his head in acknowledgement. It wasn’t like they had anything better to do right now and and Neil had yet to coax an actual answer out of Andrew. He was curious.

"Why did you wear the contacts?", Andrew asked and Neil silently cursed himself.

"We should do this later.", he said hoping that it would lead Andrew to forget about his question.

"But why? We're having so much fun right now." It was difficult to know whether Andrew was serious or not since his facial expression as well as his tone gave nothing away. Neil sighed sliding his fingers through the short hairs on the back of his head.

"It's complicated."

"Then explain it.", Andrew challenged him.

"My eyes remind me of my father and I'd rather not think of him.", Neil said finally. It was already more information than he was technically allowed to give since even this bit of information could potentially be traced back to Nathan Wesninski. And if that happened his life was over.

"Why didn't you go pro?"

"Do you ever think of anything else than exy, Junkie?", Andrew asked with a roll of his eyes. Neil shrugged. "Although I suppose I should feel flattered that you're asking this instead of asking me for Kevin's favorite color."

Neil knew that Andrew was trying to pry him off topic just like he had tried when it had been his turn to answer. He still bit back. "Why would I waste a round when I can ask him in person?"

Andrew looked at him blankly and Neil realised that Andrew didn't know. "Kevin's here.", he said to clear things up. Andrew's face shut down. Neil thought that it had been expressionless before but he had been wrong.

Andrew started walking towards the stadium and it didn’t take Neil long to catch up. Half of the team was trying to convince Kevin to join their scrimmage when they entered. It was like Kevin could feel them coming since his head whipped around when they came through the door.

"Andrew."

"Day.", Andrew returned flatly. "What are you doing here?"

Kevin excused himself from the other players and made his way towards them. Kevin was taller than both of them (which wasn't difficult, really) but it still felt like Andrew's presence was somehow outshining Kevin's.

"You didn't leave me much of a choice when you ignored my texts.", Kevin hissed when he was out of hearing range from the others.

"Do you remember graduation? Because I told you that I don't ever want to speak to you again and yet here we are."

"Andrew, you can't possibly keep doing this.", Kevin said ignoring Andrew's objection raising his arms as if he wanted to grab Andrew by the shoulders and shake him. He reconsidered before actually touching Andrew through and let his hands sink back to his sides.

"He said he didn't want to talk to you.", Neil stepped in. Andrew gave him a side-eye but said nothing. Instead he crossed his arms in front of his chest. It seemed that only now Kevin became aware of Neil's presence in their conversation.

"You should know what I'm talking about. The master-"

"Unlike you, Day.", Neil cut in and then switched to japanese and lowered his voice as he noticed the stares from his teammates. "I'm answering to the Lord, not Tetsuji. Why are you here?"

Kevin blinked in surprise but then answered. "We need to talk."

"We have practice right now. We can talk afterwards."

Kevin accepted this without complaint and then turned to Andrew. "Why are you not in your jersey?"

"I'm not here for exy. I'm here for the junkie.", Andrew answered in a bored voice with a nod in Neil’s general direction. Then he turned and walked off. Kevin opened his mouth but Neil shook his head. “Don’t bother with it. He’ll be back once practice is over.” Kevin looked like he bit into a lemon. It was very different from the Kevin he knew from magazines and interviews. He looked so different from the Kevin that was smiling and making jokes for the camera. He should have realised sooner that nothing of his stage appearance had anything to do with his actual character.

“You don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, Nathaniel.”, Kevin said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You shouldn’t have come back to the US.”

“And played exy where? Europe? The best teams are still here.”, Neil countered. “And one more thing.”, he added stepping closer and lowering his voice to a whisper. “Call me by that name again, I’ll remind you that I’m my father’s son. Don’t think it will heal as pretty as your hand did.” Kevin stared down to him and said nothing. Neil clenched his hands to fists to keep them from shaking but held the eye contact until Kevin looked away.

 

 

Andrew waited for them on the hood of his car. He had finished his cigarette when Neil and Kevin came to the parking lot. Surprisingly Neil must also have chosen to use the shower at the stadium rather than at home. His wet hair was already curling again and his shirt clung tightly to his chest. Judging by their tight expressions they didn’t get along too well. Kevin went straight for the front passenger seat but Andrew clicked his tongue.

“That’s Neil’s seat.”, he said and stared back unimpressed when Kevin started to complain. “You lost that privilege when you signed with the Swans.”, he cut in and got up. Neil ducked his head as he maneuvered himself past Kevin and got in the car.

Kevin was the last to take a seat in the car, still looking annoyed. Andrew would have readjusted his seat for Kevin to have even less leg space behind him but unfortunately his feet wouldn’t have reached the pedals then. Neil’s left leg was back to bouncing up and down in an erratic rhythm so out of habit Andrew pushed his leg down for a moment. When he caught Kevin’s disapproving scowl in the rearview mirror he settled his hand on Neil’s knee for the entire drive, only taking it off to change gears. The only reaction he got from Neil was a smirk so he quickly set his eyes back on the road.

He put his arm on the back of Neil’s seat when he changed into reverse gear to park the car. He ruffled Neil’s still damp hair as if it was a thing between them before taking his hand back. Thankfully Neil played along and only huffed. Andrew balled his hand to a fist to get rid of the tingle in his fingers and got out of the car. With a nod of his head he signaled Neil to get out as well. No need to check for any intruders when Riko sent them his lapdog directly. Kevin managed to stay quiet until Neil had closed the apartment door behind them. He turned around to the two of them and pointed his finger accusingly at Andrew.

“You need to break this act before it permanently affects your careers.”

Neil snorted. “Way to be homophobic, dude. Couldn’t you at least have waited until we made it to the living room?”

“I’m not and that’s not the point.”

“So let me get this straight: You come here uninvited to tell us to stop dating because athletes can’t be gay. That sounds pretty homophobic to me.”

The corner of Andrew’s mouth twitched ever so slightly and Kevin ran a hand through his hair making his usually carefully styled hairdo to a mess. “I know that it’s just an act.”

Both Andrew and Neil exchanged a quick glance before raising their eyebrows.

“And what brought you to that mind-breaking realisation?”, Andrew asked dryly. His fingers itched to reach for his knives so he stuffed them in his pockets. Kevin shrugged and avoided eye contact.

“You’re doing the same thing you’ve done for me back then. I don’t know what your deal is this time but you wouldn’t - you said you wouldn’t-”

“I said I wouldn’t do anything unless we were both sober and you never came to me when you were sober. So why are you complaining now, Kevin?”, Andrew cut in trying to ignore the aching in his chest. It wasn’t like he had been in love with Kevin, hell he hadn’t even liked the guy. But Kevin had been the first one to believe that he was worth more than trash - way back when he was playing exy in juvy. That and the fact that Kevin was nice to look at. But it definitely didn’t make up for his character. It was probably for the better that he had been drugged out of his mind for the most time when he had his deal with Kevin. His attics had mostly amused him back then. Today he wasn’t sure if he could refrain from stabbing Kevin if he had to endure him longer than an hour. Kevin clenched his teeth and looked to the floor. When he didn’t show any indication to answer Andrew stepped closer, the butterfly knife in his hand. “Why don’t you tell me why Riko sent you here and fuck off?”

“I’m not here because-”, Kevin tried to argue but stopped in the middle of the sentence when Andrew pressed the knife in his stomach. Not hard enough to actually break skin but enough for Kevin to start sweating nervously. Neil tried to step closer but Andrew shot him a warning look.

“Don’t interfere.”, he ordered and shifted his attention back to Kevin. “I think I told you before but I hate liars. I really, _really_ hate being lied to. Do you understand?”

Kevin gave him a jerky nod, his lips pressed to a thin line.

“Now, tell me why Riko sent you here.”

“I’m not his dog.”, Kevin insisted stubbornly and Andrew couldn’t help but snort.

“You still do tricks when he tells you to, though.”

“You need to listen to me. Riko won’t tolerate this any longer. I’m here to warn you before you get hurt.”

“So Riko _did_ send you.”

“You should be glad that it was me and not someone else.”, Kevin paused and turned his head to Neil who stared grimly back. “I’m doing this to protec-”

“Enough.”, Andrew said.

“Just because you can’t believe that I actually care about you-”, Kevin said angrily but Andrew cut in again. His tone deadly calm.

“The only thing you care about is yourself and exy, Day. Otherwise you would have found your spine at some point.”, with that he slipped his knife back in his armband and pushed Kevin away from him. “Leave.”

Kevin took a step in his direction and Andrew was ready to reach for his knife again but Kevin was blocked by Neil who had stepped in the way. Neil was standing with his back to him so Andrew couldn’t see his expression but he had seen Neil’s stubborn scowl often enough to anticipate it. Kevin on the other hand looked something between angry and annoyed. “Andrew asked you to leave.”, Neil said holding his hands out like he could do something against a man who was a head taller than him. Maybe he could. He had appeared confident about his fighting skills in the morning so maybe there was something to it.

Kevin said something in japanese to which Neil shook his head. Kevin said more, Riko’s name came up a couple of times and Neil just replied with “Oh, fuck off.” in english. Kevin clenched his teeth again as he was visibly angry but Neil opened the front door and made a hand gesture to show Kevin out. His facial expression matched Kevin’s. Andrew should have used his time at university to pick up some japanese. He hadn’t seen the necessity when Riko had been far away in the Nest but it irked him to not understand the conversations around him. But it had already been a struggle to learn german because his focus hadn’t been the best when he was still on his meds.

Andrew must have spaced off because he had clearly missed something of the conversation when he heard Neil shouting after Kevin: “Get off your high horse and call a fucking Uber like everyone else.”

Kevin was already too far away for Andrew to hear the answer but Neil who still stood by the door apparently heart him just fine. “You don’t insult people and then get driven to the airport as a reward by them, dickhead.”

He slammed the door closed, not bothering to close the extra locks and then stormed to the living room. Andrew followed him because there was no good reason for him to stand in the hallway anymore. Neil had flopped onto the couch and flipped through the channels, something that Andrew had never seen him do. If Neil ever used his TV it was to watch exy games and he still prefered to watch them at Boyd’s house. Andrew nudged his legs and Neil moved them to the coffee table to make space for him. They both sat in silence for a while and watched a nature documentary.

“Sooooo, you and Kevin.”, Neil said after a while not taking his eyes of the screen. Andrew turned his head to stare at him unimpressed but Neil’s gaze was still focused on the screen.

“Jealous, pretty boy?”, he asked but the only reaction that he got out of Neil was a scowl. “What, are you like disappointed after meeting the real Kevin Day?”

Neil continued to stare at the screen but Andrew noticed how the tips of his ears turned red. They were sitting relatively close to each other so Andrew was able to knock their knees together to get Neil’s attention. “Kevin’s a lot more bearable when he’s drunk.”, he offered as comfort. “Though I thought you knew each other when you were kids.”

Back then the height difference between the two couldn’t have been as big as it was know. It was difficult for Andrew to imagine Kevin in small. In his mind young Kevin was exactly like present Kevin but several inches shorter and instead of the tattoo a two written with permanent marker. A careless, happy Kevin was as absurd as a careless, happy Andrew. Andrew didn’t have many reasons to smile in his childhood and he doubted that it was different for Kevin. Even as a kid he must have been an annoying know-it-all that corrected everyone about their mistakes all the goddamn time.

“Kevin didn’t exactly do vodka shots when he was eleven.”, Neil said still sulking.

“How did you manage to be around him then?”, Andrew asked. Both of them snorted and then lept into a comfortable silence. It took Andrew some time to notice that his knee was still pressed against Neil’s leg but as soon as he noticed he became hyper aware of it. It was stupid since Neil probably didn’t even notice. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable, it didn’t make Andrew’s skin itch like touch sometimes did. Bee would encourage him to stay like this to desensitize. This was a casual touch with no sexual intent. Hell, Andrew had been the one who had initiated it. And if he wanted to end it he could do it right here and right now. Andrew did not move.

“You didn’t answer my question earlier.”, Neil said after a while. “You still owe me your truth.” Andrew rolled his eyes and muttered junkie under his breath. Neil glanced over to him and gave him a quick smile. Andrew looked back to the TV screen and tried to find the right words as to why he had stopped playing exy after he graduated.

_Surprisingly (or not, depending on the point of view) Andrew was scouted. His stats were a mess since there had been games when he didn’t even bother to raise his racquet but apparently the times when he did made up for it. He and Kevin even received an offer from the same team. Kevin had been ecstatic. That made it even more fun when he said no._

_Watching Kevin’s face fall made him feel a sense of amusement that he hadn’t felt since he had stopped taking his meds. How he shook his head. How his hands were balled into fists._

_“This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.”, Kevin said disbelievingly, still trying to change Andrew’s mind. Andrew shrugged._

_“You already said that when you offered me a spot with the Ravens.”_

_Kevin didn’t find words and stormed out of the room like the drama queen he was. Andrew had followed him._

_“So what are you going to do now, Kevin?”, Andrew had asked when he found Kevin searching the cupboards of their dorm kitchen for booze. How predictable. “Carry on or crawl back to Riko?”_

What the hell was he supposed to say? That he declined the offers because it was fun to say no to Kevin but also because he wanted to see if Kevin was worth his time. If the guy had finally grown a spine on his own and didn’t need to latch onto alcohol and Andrew anymore. As satisfying the feeling of being needed was, he wouldn’t bother with Kevin if he was a hopeless case. And indeed Kevin went back to Riko despite the last three years. Exy hadn’t been that bad to be honest.

He didn’t get to play a full game without his meds in the end because they didn’t get so far in the championship but it sure as hell killed the time. It beat laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling.

Kevin had been right about one thing: it was the best offer he had. No one else wanted to employ a nobody with a criminal record who had been on meds for three years because of his aggressions. But he had already said no to Kevin.

“I don’t know.”, Andrew said finally. Neil didn’t push further and handed him the remote instead. Andrew refused to feel grateful for it and changed the channels. Documentaries were boring as fuck. With a bit of luck there was a rerun of an episode from Passions of Santos somewhere.The phone in his pocket buzzed and he took it out to see who had tried to contact him.

**Bee [Wednesday, 6:50pm]**

_Did you have enough time to build yourself an opinion about your new job yet?_

Oh Bee, always asking the uncomfortable questions at the worst times. He glanced over to Neil and then typed “it’s fine” with one hand while he continued to switch through the channels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sprichst du Deutsch?" (Do you speak german?)  
> "Besser als du?" (Better than you) 
> 
> A short explanation for Neil’s dislike of Andrew’s german. So, Nicky learnt german in Stuttgart, yes? The dialect you speak there is called schwäbisch (swabian in english, wow that sounds weird). First conclusion: Nicky speaks swabian. And while Aaaron and Andrew might have learnt standard german (Hochdeutsch) in school, they mostly talk with Nicky in german. And Nicky knows german much better than they do (since he lived there), so it only natural that they copied some of Nicky’s speech pattern. Look, I’m not saying that Andrew speaks swabian - but yes, yes, I do actually. I know that for all non-german speaker’s this is probably boring but I’m sitting here nearly shitting myself. This is so funny.
> 
> (For further clarification for all non german speakers: Schwäbisch is, to put it in the words of my best friends, a mistake of the german language. It's very different from 'regular' german mainly because it sounds like the person who speaks also has a potato in their mouth. Like, german is my mother language and I don't understand anything when someone says something in swabian.)


	10. Stickball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> True gay and lesbian solidarity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have honestly no excuses why it took me so long to update and I’m sorry this isn’t even plot relevant chapter. But then again who is reading this for the plot, haha. The chapter was supposed to be longer with actual stuff going on but I’m flying to Japan tomorrow so not much time left for that. I also didn’t want to you guys sit on a cliffhanger for another two months. Anyways, thanks to everyone who made it this far and an even bigger thank you to all the comment writers. You’re amazing.  
> Also this chapter is not only way shorter than usual but also unbeta'd so far. My life is a mess.

Another week had passed and their team was still lacking a goalie sub. Dermott and Miller insisted that they could make it work but both Coach was getting more restless day by day. It was difficult to find someone that met her standards on a regular basis. But mid-season when most potential candidates already had contracts? It seemed impossible. Maybe that was why, Neil mussed, she was slowly going crazy. They sat in the lounge waiting for the last players to finish changing so they could talk game when Misra took her phone out and looked at the screen.

“Oh no, our goalie is sick.”, Coach Misra said in a loud voice to nobody in particular. The team exchanged confused looks and Alvarez started giggling.

Dermott’s muffled voice came right from the changing room. “I’m right here.”

But either Coach didn’t hear her or chose to ignore her because she continued talking. “If only we had _someone_ here who knew how to defend the goal-”

Alvarez giggling evolved into uncontrollable laughter and Neil turned to Matt for an explanation who shrugged.

“Stop telling Andrew I’m dead.”, Dermott shouted as she stormed into the lounge nearly falling over. She looked like she had been the middle of changing since she was still wearing her Incredible Hulk shirt and and only one shoe.

She shot her girlfriend an angry glance who kept laughing before turning to Coach. Coach put her phone back into her pocket and shrugged.

“There is nothing wrong with a healthy competition between two goalies.”

“He’s not even on the team.” , Dermott insisted before turning on her heels, going back to finish changing and the rest of the team turned back to their individual conversations. Matt took his phone out to show Neil the restaurant Dan and he went for their anniversary.

“It’s nearly impossible to get a table for dinner but I heard they’re also serving brunch.”, Matt told him excitedly. “I think the chef still remembers us. We could go there on saturday.”

Neil tried to remember if he had any plans for the weekend so far. Not that he knew of. It was hard to tell with Andrew who liked to inform him only a few minutes before leaving that they were going somewhere. Neil had the sneaking suspicious that Andrew kept doing it because otherwise Neil would have found excuses not to go. “I need to ask Andrew first.”, he said truthfully and watched Matt’s face fall for a second before he went back to smiling. It looked forced this time.

“We could make it a double da-”, Matt tried but winced when he thought back how the last time had went.

“Let’s not.”, Neil said and absently dragged his thumbs over his collarbone. Lola had left a thin scar there when he was six? seven? years old. His memory was blurry on the details of why she had picked up the knife but then again Lola had never needed an actual reason. “But I could come over to your place to hang out. Dan promised me to show me how to apply eyeliner.”

At this Alvarez behind them whistled and they both turned to her in surprise. Judging from her expression she had listened to most of the conversation. Before either of them had the chance to say anything Coach started talking again. Matt shrugged and turned his attention to Coach, Neil tried to do the same but the phone in his pocket buzzed. He shot a glance around before taking a look at the screen.

**best bitch on court [now]**

_trying to get even prettier for loverboy, ey_

He wrinkled his brows in confusion until he heard Alvarez giggling behind him again. Well, that explained who the text was from. It didn’t explain who had changed his contact details though.

**superior goalkeeper [now]**

_don’t worry. next time u want some action just wear nothing but his jersey. works wonders ;)_

**best bitch on court [now]**

_can confirm!_

Neil sighed as Dermott and Alvarez continued to giggle. He knew that it was a petty thing to do but he turned around to them a stuck his tongue out. Dermott winked at him and Alvarez blew him a kiss. He really didn’t know what he had done to deserve this. Couldn’t they bully someone else? Cheng was annoying.

**Neil [now]**

_Can’t you go and annoy Cheng for a change?_

He didn’t even had the time to put his phone back on the table before it started buzzing again.

**Neil added to “Exy’s queerest”**

**best bitch on court [now]**

_no way_

**superior goalkeeper [now]**

_can’t leave you alone with the straights, can we?_

**best bitch on court [now]**

_that would be cruel_

**superior goalkeeper [now]**

_also you’re way funnier than cheng_

**Neil [now]**

_I should tell him that you said that_

**superior goalkeeper [now]**

_don’t you dare_

Instead of answering Neil put his phone down and tried to listen what Coach was telling them. He had missed out most of the talk because not even a minute later she told them to get their asses on the court. Neil was more than happy to oblige.

/____________/

Their practice must have run longer than usual because Andrew came to the court to check up on them. He usually walked a perimeter around the stadium or at least Neil thought that was what he was doing. Neil could count the number of times Andrew had come to the court in the last few weeks on one hand. He usually waited in the lounge for Neil to finish changing after team practice. For the others it must look like Andrew drove him to practice and picked him off afterwards, alongside with joining them in the gym. Coach and Matt were the only ones that knew better than that.

“Oi, loverboy is there to smooch your handsome face.” , Dermott shouted from where she was standing in the goal and Neil ignored her and scored. Only after the goal lit up red behind her, he turned around to check if Andrew was there. Alvarez stepped closer to him, knocking their racquets together.

“Good focus there, rookie. Now go and get some.”, she said and started to making kissing noises. Neil scowled and walked toward the plexiglass door trying to tune out the whistles that Dermott was making. Was this what people were calling walk of shame? Because Neil could feel his cheeks burning from embarrassment.

The others picked their scrimmage up where they left it as soon as Neil was nearly at the door. Andrew was already waiting on the other side with an unreadable expression. The moment Neil opened the door something flew past him at high speed. The next thing he knew was Andrew trying to hand him the exy ball that he caught with his bare hands. Neil stared at Andrew stunned.

“Show off.” , shouted Dermott from the goal waiving her racquet accusingly in their direction while Williams jogged over to them to apologise.

“Sorry about that, Minyard. It was an accident.”, she said. “Amazing reflexes though.”

Cheng who stood fairly close to the door chipped in. “You could say it was an _exy_ -dent.”

The whole team groaned and Willams took the exy ball out of Neil’s hands to throw it in Cheng’s general direction. “Seriously, Cheng?”, she yelled. “The same pun three times in a row? Can’t you at least come you with something new?!”

“I’ll use something else when it stops being funny.” , Cheng replied after he ducked under the exy ball sailing at his head. Williams was about to reply but a hand under his chin forced Neil to look away. Instead he was staring at Andrew’s impassioned face.

“Can we go now?”, Andrew asked in a way that reminded Neil of a bored toddler. Neil nodded before hesitating.

“Is your hand okay? We can stop by the infirmary before we leave.”

But Andrew dismissed him with a handwave. “I’m fine.”, he said mockingly and Neil rolled his eyes.

/____________/

“Where are we going?”, Neil asked when he noticed that they weren’t driving the usual way back to the apartment. It made sense in a way because why would have Andrew be so insistent about leaving if all he wanted to do was going home. If Neil’s apartment could be considered a home. Sure, he lived there but it mainly was a place to sleep and store his clothes for Neil.

“I need some caffeine.”, Andrew answered absently and took a turn. “We also haven’t been on a date in a while.”

Neil wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say to that. He had near to zero dating experience and about as much interest in the topic. He wasn’t even sure why that had to go on dates since they spend most of their time together. Dan had tried to explain it to him when he asked her but he still felt unsure. While Andrew knew what he was doing Neil felt like a complete idiot whenever they went out somewhere together. Should he keep acting like usual or did he have to pretend to be in love? How did one pretend to be in love? Andrew’s behavior barely changed except for somewhat more body contact. Neil kept doing whatever he was doing in the hopes that Andrew would tell him if he was doing something wrong.

Going to restaurants for dinner was nice. They had worked out a routine of eating at different places every time and ‘sharing’ the dessert (usually Neil took one bite of it, wrinkled his nose at the sweetness and pushed the plate to Andrew). What they were going to do a coffee shop was unknown. Besides ordering coffee obviously. Though Neil didn’t even drink coffee. Anyways it couldn’t be worse than the last time where they went to a coffee shop together and Neil had a panic attack. Hopefully.

It took them a ridiculously long time to find a good parking spot so they had to walk several blocks. Andrew used the time to smoke. Neil who was walking to his right noticed that Andrew was holding his cigarette in his left instead of his right hand.

“Staring.”, Andrew commented dryly when he caught Neil looking at him in confusion.

“Why are you holding it with your left hand?”

Andrew raised the cigarette to his mouth and took a long drag. “Wouldn’t want to ruin your little athlete lungs, would we?”, he asked as he exhaled the smoke.

Neil shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

The scent of smoke made him feel nostalgic. Along with his mother his uncle also had the habit of smoking when feeling stressed. Stuart had thrown a fit when he found Neil smoking one day though. Something about ruining his sports career. Knowing that Stuart was right Neil had reluctantly quit smoking but he sometimes still felt the urge for a cigarette. Living with Andrew didn’t make it easier.

Andrew scoffed and shook his head slightly. “Fuckin’ weirdo.”, he muttered to himself.

Andrew rolled his eyes when Neil stopped before the door and opened it for him. "After you, young master." 

Neil flipped him off as he went inside and was hit by the smell of roasted coffee beans. It was one of those fancy places that let you order anything you wanted. Aware of his meal plan he looked for something that didn't consist of caffeine. 

The touch on his back startled him and when he turned around Neil saw Andrew standing behind him with raised eyebrows. "You're blocking the way." 

Neil ducked his head and stepped to the queue of people waiting to place their order. There were at least four people in front of him but Neil wasn't sure if it was enough time for him to decide what to order. He could get a tea? Because of the caffeine black tea was out of option. Neil only ever drank herb tea when he was sick and fruit tea tasted like lukewarm disappointment to him. Only two people in front of him left. He could ask for the same thing that Andrew took? No, Andrew wanted coffee and lots of sugar. 

"And you?", the cashier asked and snapped Neil out of his thoughts. Both the women behind the counter and Andrew were looking at him expectantly. 

"I'll take a banana strawberry smoothie without the cream. No wait, do you have soy cream?" 

The cashier nodded and pointed at the sign behind her. "Soy costs extra though." 

"That's alright." , Neil shrugged, paid for both their drinks and went over to the end of the counter to wait for his smoothie. Andrew followed him and took four packages of sugar out of the container. He noticed Neil looking at him with a wrinkled nose and dug his finger in Neil’s cheek to forcefully turn his head.

Once they got their drinks and Andrew finished adding sugar to his iced coffee, they made their way back to the exit. Neil stopped outside the coffee shop and waited for Andrew to catch up.

“Where are we going?”, he asked Andrew who shrugged.

“You’re a big boy. You can decide.” So Andrew had made no plans besides getting a coffee. Neil tilted his head a little in consideration.

“That way.”, he said and pointed down the road to their left. There was a park a few blocks away along with a sports shop. It didn’t exactly have the capacities of Exites but it was still a nice shop. Neil was also in the need of another pair of running shoes since his shoes now had the habit of vanishing.

He didn’t offer any further explanation because Neil was a petty bastard. If Andrew was vague as hell, Neil could be too.

He turned to walk down said road but he was stopped by Andrew’s arm. Neil looked at the outstretched hand in front of him his brows wrinkling in confusion.

“Don’t stare at it, dumbass.”, Andrew told him. “Take it.”

“You’re the one who wanted to hold hands.”, he added when Neil still made no attempt to move. Neil noticed that Andrew’s neck was slightly reddening along with the tip of his ears. Pale as he was it was no surprise that he got sunburned easily but Neil would have thought that Andrew was clever enough to use sun cream.

So Neil ended up walking down the sidewalk with a smoothie in one hand and a boyfriend in the other. The sun was shining. The trees were green. It was … nice.

“What’s your favorite animal?”, Neil asks out of the nothing because he didn’t know and he’s curious.

“It’s still my turn.”, Andrew reminded him and took a long sip from the straw. Neil watched the drink flow up in the straw for a moment before he caught himself staring and looked back up. Andrew had raised an eyebrow.

“Then I owe you two truths.”, Neil said and Andrew sighed as if it was a burden to talk to him but answered nonetheless. “Cats.”

“Mine are platypus.” , Neil offered and started swinging their hands a little back and forth until Andrew is forced them to stay in place. He ignored the dark look that Andrew shot him.

“I didn’t ask.”, Andrew clarified and Neil shrugged. Their game made sense when dealing with sensible information. Things that weren’t meant to be shared. But things that weren’t traceable to his real identity? It didn’t hurt to share them. There was nothing that Andrew could do with that piece of information. His therapeut would have been proud of him for sharing something personal on his own terms. 

“I know. I just wanted you to know.”, he said with a soft smile and closed his eyes to enjoy the sun light on his skin.


	11. Shit hits the fan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The running shoe stealer reveals his identity and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have posted this already yesterday but then my neighbour decided to drill for two hours and I had to flee my apartment for that time, lol. 
> 
> You might want to check the end notes for trigger warnings for this chapter. All warnings are also in the canon book series, so if you managed through that, this chapter will be okay. 
> 
> I'll also have an announcement in the end notes so just have a look there before or after reading the chapter or whatever.

The phone in his pocket buzzed. Then it buzzed again. And again. Just when Andrew thought that it would finally stop buzzing, another text came in. Andrew gritted his teeth in annoyance but kept on driving.

“You know, you could switch your phone to silent if it annoys you that much.”, Neil offered from the passenger seat with his knees drawn up to his chest. He was only wearing socks because Andrew would have killed him if he put his dirty ass excuses of shoes on his leather seats. Neil had taken a shower and changed clothes after practice so he didn't pour his sweat on the seats either. Andrew blinked and looked back on the road.

“And risk missing a call from you when you’re being kidnapped? No thanks.”, he answered, surprising himself with the honesty of his words. Clearly Neil must have been surprised as well because it took him longer than usual to answer.

“If you would text your cousin back from time to time, I’m sure he wouldn’t check to see if you’re alive every five seconds.”

“He can read gossip magazines.”, Andrew scoffed and stopped at a red light. His fingers itched to grab his phone and check if it was only Nicky’s usual chattering or an actual important text. He wouldn’t though. Texting and driving was dangerous and he didn’t feel like pushing his luck with car crashes anymore. He still didn’t know how the crash - that had killed Tilda instantly- left him relatively unharmed. The traffic light changed back to green and Andrew redirected his attention to the road ahead of him. It took him a while to realise what was odd about Neil’s statement. “How do you know that Nicky is texting me?”

Was Neil still pissed about that time when Andrew had checked his phone? Because stealing Andrew’s phone as a counter attack was not only petty but also incredibly boring.

Neil shrugged. ”Matt told me that your cousin is asking them nowadays how you’re doing since you never answer your phone. I assumed that those texts are from him… or do you have other friends?”

Andrew knew that he should be offended but he didn’t want to give Neil the satisfaction.

“In a matter of facts, I do.”, he answered because it was true. He had Renee. And if one could count the guy he hooked up with on a regular basis for the last few years he even could say that he had friends. Instead of just saying that he had one friend.

“I’m taking another turn of the game because I’m pretty sure you’re lying.”, Neil said. Andrew made a fleeing hand gesture.

“Go ahead and waste your turns, Josten. I didn’t lie. I have other friends. Plural.”

“Are you ever going to ask me anything back or are you horting your turns until you get a bonus round? I’m sorry but the game doesn’t work that way.” Andrew ignored him for the rest of the drive which had the pleasant side effect of Josten being silent for once.

Andrew checked the flat before texting Neil that everything was clear. The stalker - or should he say Riko - had been suspiciously quiet during the last few weeks. After sending Kevin to them nothing much had happened except for the occasional text message late at night. Neil was still sceptical of Andrew's theory and claimed that Riko had no real reason to act this way. Having dealt with the asshole for his entire college life Andrew knew that Riko Moriyama didn't need an actual motive to behave like a dick. But if stupid Josten chose not to believe him, _fine._

They settled into their routine of doing their own thing until Neil started making dinner at seven o'clock like the weirdo he was. Neil insisted that having his day planned out to a dot made his life easier because he knew what to do and apparently Neil used to forget to eat when not reminded. Andrew on the other hand thought that it made him predictable.

"Easy for your stalker to catch you when you always have the same routine.", he remarked when Neil was busy slicing onions.

"That's why I hired you. So I don't have to change my life around some dickhead.", Neil answered without turning his head. "Ugh shit, I breathed in through my nose."

He dropped the knife into the kitchen counter and took a few steps back. When he turned around Andrew saw him blinking excessively.

“What’s for dinner?”, Andrew asked eyeing the onion suspiciously.

"Nothing if you keep annoying me.", Neil said and gestured him out of the kitchen. "You're in the way."

“Who are you? My mother?", Andrew scoffed and slid from the counter. Then he clapped on his pockets to make sure his cigarettes were there. "I'm going out for a smoke. Don't do anything stupid."

He gave Neil a two finger salute before turning on his heels and walking out of the apartment. He stopped at the door to get his keys and to put his shoes on. A quick glance over his shoulder told him that Neil didn't follow him to the hallway. He used his chance and took the left running shoe that was placed next to the door. He was tempted to throw it through the open bathroom door but the noise would startle Neil. He would have to hide it once he was back. For now he placed the shoe closer to his own shoes and then dropped one of his jackets on top. If Neil should pass by he would think that Andrew was a slob but probably not pick it up. The shoe was hidden for now.

He grinned to himself and unlocked the doors. Once he stood outside he realised that he could only close the extra locks from the inside. It was a bit of a hassle to call Neil to the door for that. It would also mean that he had to ring the bell to get back in. He decided that it was too much effort for tonight, locked the door and then dug his cigarettes out alongside with his lighter.

He wouldn't go far. Just a quick walk around the block to check for any suspicious looking vehicles. A pleasant side effect was being left alone for a few minutes. Being around someone else exhausted him. He wondered how he managed to survive college where he even had to share a room with three other people.

Spending time alone was as much as blessing as it was a curse he thought as he walked down the road. He didn't like most of the people in his (already very small) social circle but being left alone with his thoughts was dangerous. He hadn't known what do with himself most of the time after graduation so he had spent his time in his house mostly smoking one cigarette after another. Neil complained about his eating habits everyday but he had never said anything about his smoking. It bothered Andrew somehow that it got no reaction out of him when Kevin used to hold the "you will end up with lung cancer before you're thirty five" speech at least once a week.

The wind blew stronger and Andrew lifted his shoulders instinctively. He looked to the left before looking to the right. The streets were empty but there was light in most of the buildings. It was unusual for people in this neighbourhood to be outside at this time of the day. He didn't even spot the occasional jogger that was usually around. Well, it was cold outside after all.

"Fuck this.", Andrew muttered as he crushed the cigarette under his heel and then turned to go back. The wind kept getting stronger and Andrew cursed under his breath. He understood why the Junkie didn't want him to smoke in the apartment but it still sucked. He would have tried to smoke in his room with an open window if Neil hadn't installed smoke detectors in every room.

He turned around the corner and started walking a bit faster. That was why he nearly missed the black SUV parked down the road. Andrew stopped in his tracks and blinked stupidly at the car for a moment, his mind trying to figure out whether or not it had been there a few minutes ago or not.

He started walking again but then it turned into an awkward half jog. He didn't dare to run because he didn't want to be out of breath if something was actually wrong. Fuck, fuck, FUCK. With all his complaints about Neil's predictiveness he hadn't taken a second to consider that he himself was pretty predictable with his smoke breaks. It wouldn't have been hard to figure out how long he usually took to walk around the block. With his heart beating loudly in his chest he climbed the stairs and nearly stumbled when he saw that the front door was ajar.

He didn't want to the disturb the neighbours so he refrained from calling out Neil's name. Instead he whipped out his knife and walked towards the door slowly. He couldn't tell how many people were inside and he didn't want them to know that he was there.

He opened the door quietly and crept into the hallway. It was empty. He released the breath that he didn't knew he had been holding. A sound came from the kitchen and he froze in his spot. He held his breath again and tried to ignore his own deafening heartbeat drumming in his ears. After a moment he decided that it was safe to move again. Andrew took each step slowly since he still had his shoes on and didn't want to be heard. The intruder or the intruders counted on him being a block away and he didn't want to ruin the only advantage that he got.

The door to the kitchen and living room area was open. He considered his options. He could try to make a fast attack or he would try to be as sneaky as possible in the hope that the intruder didn't hear him until the last second. The second was risky in a way that his whole advantage of the situation would be gone if he made the wrong move.

Before he decided on what to do he took a quick peek at the room to see in what situation Neil was in. There would be no sense in storming in if the stalker had a gun leveled at Neil's head.

He counted to three in his head and then risked a glance. What he saw made him stop in his tracks. The knife slipped out of his fingers and fell to the ground with a shatter. Drake Spear who was holding a trashing Neil in chokehold looked up. He hadn’t aged well during the last ten years but somehow Andrew felt like he was twelve years old again when Drake grinned upon seeing him. 

“AJ.”, Drake said and Andrews blood ran cold. This was a nightmare. This had to be a nightmare. Though it was mainly Aaron who was held down by Drake in his dreams. He took a shaky step forward and nearly stumbled over his own feet. Drake said something but Andrew couldn’t hear him due to a sudden tinnitus. With the shrill sound in his ears he stumbled forwards. He grabbed the counter and only realised his mistake when Drake used his free arm to reach out to him. Andrew grabbed the nearest thing to him which turned out to be the kitchen knife. There was no hesitation when he nailed Drake’s hand to the kitchen counter with it. Drake screamed in agony and let go of Neil who used the chance to get away from him. In a burst of fear Andrew backed away from him, every inch in his body telling him to run. Drake would be angry with him, he was so angry. He was going to make Andrew regret it. He should run. Drake cursed as he yanked the knife out of his hand. Andrew looked around searching for a weapon. He spotted the knife that he had dropped earlier and dashed across the room. 

He managed to get ahold of the knife before Drake caught up to. Fighting Drake was nothing like fighting Renee. Compared to Renee’s speed Drake’s movements were sluggish but they were delivered with such a force that Andrew could taste blood in his mouth when Drake managed to hit his temple with his fist. Back then - ten years ago- fighting back had been pointless. Drake had easily overpowered him even if he didn’t use his full strength. Now was different. 

When Drake’s fist came flying towards his face again he was able to dodge and push Drake a few steps back with a kick in his stomach. Andrew rolled his shoulders and breathed in. Breathed out. When Drake came forward this time he ducked under his arms and rammed the knife in his stomach with full force. Drake’s entire body went rigid when Andrew turned the knife before pulling it out. 

He neither heard what Neil was saying to him nor the sounds Drake was making as Andrew continued to stab him. Again and again. Everything was in a haze, he only heard his own rapid breath and his heartbeat drumming in his ears. 

“Andrew. Andrew. It’s okay now. He’s dead. _Andrew, listen to me! HE IS DEAD!_ ”

He looked up to Neil but only saw a blur. Andrew hadn’t realised that he was crying. His hands were shaking and he finally dropped the knife. Neil sighed in relief. 

“From what I gathered you knew that guy?”, Neil asked and gestured with his hand to the bloody mess that was left of Drake Spear. 

“He was one of my foster brothers” Andrew said. His throat felt raw and the words felt foreign. “He used to rape me.”

Neil considered this silently for a second and then said: “You can stab him some more if you want.”

Despite the situation he was in Andrew let out a shaky laugh. “I think I’m good actually.”, he said and tried to stand up. He stumbled and Neil reached forward to grab his arm but then withdrew it immediately. Andrew held on the counter and took a deep breath. Drake was dead.

Neil took a step forward carefully as not to crowd him. Andrew gritted his teeth at this treatment. Then he remembered something. His head snapped up and he examined Neil for signs of injury.

“Did he..”, he took another breath before being able to say it out loud. “Did he touch you?”

Neil shot his a puzzled gaze and turned his head to the side. “He snuck up on me and put me in a chokehold. A few more seconds and I would have passed out.”, he said. “But he didn’t touch me otherwise.”

Andrew nodded to himself and looked at his bloody hands. He just killed a man. He couldn’t even pretend that he did it to protect Neil. Maybe a little. But a part of him had just snapped when he had seen Drake again. He didn’t even feel sorry. He had imagined killing Drake far too often for that. He also didn’t feel the relief or the satisfaction that he anticipated. He just felt hollow. Somewhat disgusting. He wanted to shower.

He killed a man and he would go to prison for it. No way that this would count as self defense. There were far too many stabbing wounds for that. Andrew felt like crying again.

“I don’t want to go to prison.”, he said to himself crouching down again and hugging his legs. He stared at the corpse in front of him and Drake’s dead eyes stared right back. For a second he wanted to rip them out and malm every bone in his body. But that moment passed and he felt cold and hopeless.

“You don’t have to.”, Neil said gently. as he squatted down as well but with quite some distance between them. “I’ll take care of it. I’m going to make you a tea. Why don’t you take a shower meanwhile? I’ll get you some new clothes and put them in the bathroom for you. Be careful not to touch them until you’re done showering though. Leave your old clothes on the floor.”

Neil stayed silent after that and it took Andrew a while to understand that Neil waited for any kind of reaction. Andrew gave him a small nod. “I’m going to leave the room now. I’ll go and lock the front door. Then I’m going to get your clothes and afterwards I will come back. Is that okay?”, Neil asked. Andrew nodded again, too exhausted to speak anymore.

Neil stayed there for another minute to make sure that Andrew wasn't lapsing into a panic attack before he stood up and went to the hallway. Andrew had closed the door behind him but Neil made sure to close all the additional locks. In this moment he was very glad for Andrew's insistence over installing them since they did make him feel safer. Andrew must have forgotten to lock all of them when he went on his cigaret break. Neil didn't know how he felt about that but he pushed the thought aside . If someone would have wanted to get inside, they would have. The locks would have only costed them more time and Andrew did show up in time.

Neil shook his head and tried to focus on what he had to do next. He needed to take care of the body but making sure that Andrew was okay came first. Judging from Andrew's reaction it was the first time he killed someone. He had heard the rumours about him killing his mother and making it look like a car accident. But that was something entirely different than stabbing someone over twenty times.

The circumstances were less than ideal but nothing that Neil couldn't handle. He only had to make sure that Stuart didn't catch wind of it. Neil sighed and walked down the hallway to Andrew's room but stopped before entering. Andrew didn't appreciate him there on a good day and today was a very, very bad day. So instead Neil went to his own room and got some of his own oversized clothing in the hope they would fit Andrew. While Neil was a few inches taller, Andrew had impressively broad shoulders so Neil picked the largest hoodie he could find.

Once he had assembled everything he went to the bathroom and dumped the clothes in one corner. He went back to the kitchen announcing his return before entering the room in case Andrew didn't recognise him in his haze. Better safe than sorry and Neil didn't feel like being stabbed today. He touched his neck, absently rubbing the spot where the intruder - Neil didn't even know his name- had suffocated him.

Andrew had stayed exactly where he was and he only looked up when Neil crouched down a meter away and said "Hey" softly. For a second Neil feared that Andrew would just stare through him but Andrew mustered him emotionless. "You're back.", he said in a monotone voice.

"I am.", Neil answered. "I put some of my clothes in the bathroom since I didn't want to go into yours."

"Stop it.", Andrew ordered him. Neil tilted his head in confusion. He wasn't aware that he had done anything wrong but then again he didn't exactly know how to comfort someone either.

"Stop...what?", he asked. Andrew gritted his teeth and glared at him as if Andrew was angry that he had to put his feeling in words.

"Being so considerate.", he spit out. "It makes me feel sick."

Neil shrugged.

"You were considerate when I had a panic attack so why wouldn't I be when you have one?"

"This doesn't concern you.", Andrew remained stubborn. Neil snorted disbelievingly.

"The dead man on my kitchen floor that strangled me doesn't concern me?"

Andrew said nothing and looked away. Neil suppressed the urge to sigh. Minyard and his fucking pride.

“Fine, I won’t coddle you then. I still need you to move your ass to the bathroom. I need to get rid of the body and you’re in no condition to help.” Neil raised his finger when Andrew looked like he wanted to protest. “My kitchen, my responsibility. I’m also pretty sure that you have no actual idea how to dispose a body. Move.”, he said and made a shushing motion.

It took Andrew a moment but in the end he stood up and walked to the bathroom on his own. Neil waited until he heard the water in the shower being turned on before he grabbed his phone. Not his smartphone but a burner phone that he got for occasions like these. He knew the number by heart and the person on the other line picked up on the fourth ring.

“It’s Nathaniel.”, he said instead of a greeting. “I need to get rid of a body and Stuart can’t know about it.”

“I'll get going as soon as I hang up. ”, Lee promised. “Particular reason why the boss shouldn’t be involved?”

Neil looked over his shoulder to make sure that Andrew hadn't returned to the kitchen. "You know him. As soon as he gets wind of it he'll drag me back to England before I can say Exy."

"Have you considered that Stuart is only doing that to protect you?"

Neil scowled even though Lee couldn't see him. "I'm not sixteen anymore. And I survived before that just fine."

"Sure you did.", Lee responded. "Look, kid. I can't promise you to lie if Stuart asks me about tonight. But I'm not going to call him."

Neil clenched his teeth. The situation was less than ideal but he'd rather not dispose the body alone. He needed Lee's help. "Fine."

"Good. I'm assuming you don't even have a bone saw with you right now so I'm bringing everything. I'll call Cecile later to have her bribe the cops."

"Thanks, Lee.", Neil said and hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Blood, Canon Character Death, Death, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, vague description of a panic attack 
> 
> And now to an announcement that is kind of shitty: Because of several reasons I'm going to end this fic as soon as possible. I don't want to abandon it but it will end much earlier than planned. Idk, why I am telling you this but I thought you should know?? You all can calm your tits, Andreil will get to smooch somewhat soon but there won't be much established relationship going on. I was thinking of three maybe four more chapters but I'm myself still not sure how I am supposed to pull this off.


	12. I lived, bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil deals with the clean up of a body and Andrew has a lot of questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i ain’t dead   
> bet y’all didn’t expect this to happen did ya

Neil didn't have to wait for long. Lee's flat was only a short drive away - it was one of Stuart's conditions to let Neil move back to the States. Even with the Butcher dead and Lola behind bars Stuart didn't trust Neil to stay out of trouble. After weeks of negotiation Neil had caved in but he still felt bad for Lee as they now had to play babysitter for him. Lee had assured him that they also had other business in the US and them keeping an eye out for Neil was just a way to make Stuart sleep better at night. 

Two short knocks on the door followed by a brief pause followed by three more knocks told Neil that Lee had arrived. He opened the door to let Lee inside. Lee handed a toolbox and a plastic bag to Neil before putting plastic bags over his shoes. 

"Can you pass me the duct tape?", they asked with a nod in the direction the plastic bag. Neil fished it out of the bag and handed it to Lee. After they had put on plastic gloves as well they took a look around the hallway. "So what's the situation?" 

Neil scratched his head. He couldn't help but feel like a student in front of a teacher whenever talking to Lee. Maybe that was why Stuart chose them to accompany him to the States. "Caucasian Male in his thirties, died from internal bleeding and blood loss. Roughly twenty stabs in the torso with a knife. No way to make it look like an accident or suicide."

Lee nodded and Neil relaxed his posture. “Change of plans then. We won’t be needing the bone saw after all. Let’s get to work.”

/____________/ 

Andrew didn’t know how long he stood in the shower. He had turned the water on so hot that it left his skin in an angry red. A bit as if he had a sunburn. He was still cold. He closed his eyes and lifted his face so the water would pour directly on his head. It did nothing to wash away the image of a bloody Drake on the kitchen floor but it was worth a try. 

He should probably get out of the shower soon. Washing off the blood hadn’t taken long. He had half expected to pull a Lady MacBeth and not being able to wash the blood off. The blood had washed away just fine though. Andrew had stared at the drain watching the blood getting washed away. He checked his hands again. They looked normal. Not like he just killed one of his childhood abusers. He wasn‘t sure what he was supposed to feel. Satisfaction that Drake was dead? Remorse that he had killed a human being? He felt somewhat hollow. It reminded him of the time when he first got off his meds. Nothing felt real. Neither his situation nor his body. 

He turned the faucet off and stepped out of the shower. He grabbed the biggest towel and pulled it around him. He was even colder now and the sensation of single water drops running down his spine made him uncomfortable. He dried himself off and grabbed the clothes Neil had put there for him. A hoodie and sweatpants both far too long for Andrew. He had to turn the hems of the pants over several times before he was sure that he wouldn‘t trip over them. He stared at the mirror and his reflection stared back. The longer he looked at himself the less his reflection looked familiar. He blinked several times and forced himself to look away. 

He was in the middle of brushing his teeth because his mouth tasted like vomit when he heard the siren. He was lucky that he was leaning half on the counter since his knees grew weak from the sound. His heart rate picked up. The sirens grew louder. It couldn‘t be. Neil had said he would handle it. He surely wouldn‘t have called the cops. No. But the neighbors could have heard them. Fuck. Fuck. Shit. He washed his mouth out with some water and then sprinted to the living room where Neil sat on the couch with his phone in his hand. He seemed relaxed. Behind him three people stood around the dead body, two of them dressed as paramedics. Neil looked up when Andrew came through the door. 

„Feeling any better?“, Neil asked him and put his phone on the couch table. Andrews eyes were trained on the paramedics who lifted Drake on a stretcher and put a blanket over him. The third person dressed casually handed the first paramedic a breathing mask which she carefully placed on Drake‘s lifeless face. Neil had to repeat his question two more times until Andrew tore his eyes from the corpse and looked at Neil. 

Andrew shrugged. He had a hundred questions burning on the tip of his tongue. What were they going to do with the body? Who were those people? Were they part of mafia like Neil and Riko? Did Andrew now owe them and had to repay his debt for the rest of his life? Why were they dressed as paramedics? Were they the reason for the sirens? Was the police also coming or did Neil buy them off too? 

Neil gave him a assessing glance over. “Did you throw up?”, he asked and Andrew bit on the inside of his cheek. Of course he had thrown up. He had spent several minutes over the toilet dry heaving because his brain kept replaying the weird feeling of stabbing someone and pulling the knife out again. So he shook his head and studied Neil more closely. 

Neil seemed awfully relaxed as he was sitting on the couch like he was watching an exy game. By looking at him it didn’t seem like the dead body and the strangers in the living room were bothering him. They were probably not strangers to him though. Andrew tore his gaze from Neil to watch the paramedics carrying out Drake. From afar he didn’t look as much dead as unconscious with the blanket covering his bloody shirt. The remaining person took their phone out of their pocket. 

“I’ll be going then, too. Cecille already took care of the police, I’m just give the lads at the crematorium a heads up.”, they said and followed the paramedics out. 

“Thanks, Lee.”, Neil said from the couch without getting up. Andrew wasn’t sure if he was currently in a derealisation episode because Neil seemed so unnatural to him. It was bizarre, like he had never met he person in front of him before. He knew an exy obsessed jock who went to bed at 10pm to get enough sleep and made awful post workout smoothies with way too much protein in them. This Neil was different. From the way he carried himself to the nonchalance for a homicide. Andrew blinked rapidly and then massaged his temples with his finger tips. He nearly didn’t see the moment when Neil patted with his hand on the empty side of the couch.

He sat down on the couch and stared at his hands. He wanted to ask what was going on but he couldn’t find the words. Maybe a part of him was also afraid that he was going to throw up again the moment he opened his mouth again. Neil’s phone rang and Neil answered it before the second ring. 

“Did you forget something, Lee?”, he asked instead of a greeting. So it was the person from a few moments ago. Neil stayed silent for a few moments and then groaned. “Seriously? I would have called him myself if I had known you would rat me out that easily….No, it’s fine and I really appreciate you for your help…..Yes, I will call him myself….Yes, I will do it tonight….Jesus, you’re worse than Stuart sometimes. Yes, have a safe drive.” 

He put his phone back on the couch table and then turned to Andrew. “I assume you’re not in the mood for eating dinner?” 

Andrew snorted and shook his head. Neil stood up and stretched his arms above his head. Andrew watched the shirt rise with detached interest. “Yeah, I’m not in real cooking mood anymore. Couscous will have to do.” 

He silently watched Neil walking across the kitchen making his dinner as if he hadn’t been strangled there an hour ago. Nothing felt real. He only snapped out of his thoughts when I Neil asked him if he wanted something to drink. He shook his head but he was itching for his cigarettes. He pushed the thought away and went back to watching Neil doing whatever the fuck he was currently doing. 

After Neil finished making his dinner and put it in a bowl, he went back to his seat to the couch and gave Andrew a quick once over before turning on the TV for some exy game. It was that moment when Andrew finally snapped. He reached for the remote and hit the power button with more force than necessary.

„What the fuck is going on?“

Neil shrugged. „I handled it.“ 

Andrew wanted to scream in frustration but he settled for scowling at Neil until Neil signed and put his food aside. /

„Remember when I told you that my uncle helped me to make a deal with the Moriyamas? He insisted that I bring backup with me to the US because he doesn‘t trust the Moriyamas further than he can throw them. They have established themselves in the last months pretty well so bribing the cops shouldn‘t be a problem. As for the body we use a crematorium to get rid it. Once it‘s ash it will be hard to tell who that used to be. It would make things easier for us if we had his name so we can prevent him turning up in the missing person register.“

„Drake Spear.“, he said and tasted the throw up in his mouth regardless of the three times that he had brushed his teeth. 

Neil nodded and reached for the remote in Andrew‘s hand. Andrew let him take it and watch his stupid exy game. After the game Neil excused himself to make a phone call and came back to the living room twenty minutes looking vaguely annoyed. It didn’t take long before Neil went to bed, he was usually up before 5am so he had to get to bed early to get enough sleep. Andrew didn‘t even pretend that he would fall asleep tonight so he settled down in the hallway with his knife in his hand. Neil threw two pillows from the couch at him when he came back from the bathroom. 

“You’re killing your back like that.”, he said before closing his bedroom door. Andrew ignored him and instead focused on the weight of the knife in his hand. He spun it around aimlessly. Slowly first and then faster. It didn’t require much skill and he was more than used to keep him entertained this way. 

He must have nodded off after all because he woke up in the middle of the night with a stinging pain in his neck. He cursed under his breath and rotated his head a couple of times without much effect. The rest of his body also felt sore from exhaustion and his uncomfortable position. He checked his phone and immediately toned is screen brightness down because fucking hell this sht was bright. When he looked again he could make out the time. 3:02am. He stood up, stretched his hands over his head and then went to check on the locks of the front door. They were still intact.

He went to the living room to check on the windows there and promptly hit his little toe at the corner of the couch. He let out a string of curses. He heard footsteps behind him and turned around with his knife ready only to find himself staring in the barrel of a gun. After a second Neil lowered the gun. 

“If you have to sneak around at ass o’clock in the morning can you at least do it silently?”, Neil complained. He sounded tired. It was hard to make out his facial expression in the darkness but from what Andrew could see Neil’s hair looked like a bird’s nest. 

“Why point a gun at me when you knew it was me?”, Andrew countered equally annoyed with his right toe still hurting like a bitch. Neil shrugged. 

“It was hard to tell in the dark if it was you or a twelve year old trying to steal my playstation.”, he said. Then he sighed. “Go to bed. And I mean go to bed as in the bed in your room.” 

“Why did you hire me?”, Andrew asked before he could stop himself. It’s not like you need me. You’re handling this better than I am, he wanted to continue but he bit his lips. 

Neil took a deep breath before answering. “I don’t know. I mean Matt kind of made me do it. I told you that I had it under control. It was just that you didn’t believe me. Neither did Matt. 

I was close to firing you so many times but as time went on I got used to it and the more I liked our arrangement. It’s nice.” 

When Andrew didn’t answer Neil stepped closer. Still careful not to cage him, Andrew noticed with some annoyance. “Go to bed.”, Neil said one more time and this time Andrew did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the people who kept reading this story even though the last update was ages ago.   
> Also to everyone who will even read this. It's been a while but sometimes real life is just like that.   
> Biggest shoutout to the anon on tumblr who stole my heart with a thousand compliments, I love you. 
> 
> The next update will hopefully not take me another eight months, lol. It's probably also gonna be between 2-3k but babysteps I guess. Thanks again to all the comments in the last months that made me cling on to this story.


	13. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy pride to my fellow queers! I hope you're having a good month.  
> Biggest out all shoutout to all asexuals. You rock, fam. 
> 
> Thanks for the lovely comments after the hiatus, it certainly helped getting back into writing.  
> Chapters will probably stay this short but otherwise I'll fall back into hiatus again.  
> So I thought better a short update than no update. 
> 
> This shit isn't beta'd in any way.

After sending Andrew to bed Neil found himself tossing from one side to the other. He didn’t have problems falling asleep but his mind was running after their conversation. 

He knew that he didn’t have to point a gun at Andrew, hell he had recognised him by his cursing. But a part of him had acted on reflex. It was like sleeping with a gun underneath his pillow had brought back his old paranoid behavior. 

_Why did you hire me?_ He hadn’t been able to see the look in Andrew’s eyes but he still knew how they would have looked. It was Andrew in this quiet moments of truth where he didn’t pretend to be cool and unbothered by everything around him. It was the Andrew that sometimes looked longingly at the sky when taking a smoke. The Andrew that sometimes had to turn his head to the side to hide his smile. The Andrew who has asked this wasn’t the usual, sarcastic Andrew that asked questions to mess with you. 

When Andrew asked this he had actually been lost. Without a meaning and looking to find an answer. To find a place in a world where truth wasn’t a guarded good that was carefully exchanged with high interest rates. 

Neil buried his face in his pillow and groaned. He was never going to be able to sleep if his thoughts kept running in circles like this. They had this conversation and there was no way that Neil could re-do it. Hell, even if he could he had no idea what he could have said. Because he didn’t know why he decided to keep Andrew as his bodyguard. 

He rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling. Through a gap between the curtains a small stripe of light illuminated the room. Barely enough to make out the general layout of the room in grey tones. 

_Why did you hire me?_ Neil tried to think of reasons but all explanations he came up with didn’t seem to fit. And the more he thought about it the weirder Andrew’s role as bodyguard became. Sure, they had agreed to the fake dating thing but he hadn’t expected it to become such a big role in their daily life. Would he still have asked Andrew if he had known that his finger tips would tingle after they accidently brushed Andrew’s when they were walking? Was it weird that he wanted to sit closer to Andrew on the couch nowadays? Or was his body just more used to body contact now? Neil pulled the blanket and groaned. It was going to be a long night. 

*****

Whatever Neil’s uncle had done, it had worked. Neither the police came by to ask question nor were they featured on the front pages of gossip magazines. It was almost like it never had happened. There was no physical trace of it left but Andrew still dreamt about it. Sometimes he came back in time, sometimes he didn’t. Sometimes Drake had snapped Neil’s neck like a stick and Neil lifeless body would sink to the floor. Sometimes Drake was in the middle of undressing Neil. Sometimes Neil would be Aaaron. Sometimes Aaron would be himself. 

He stumbled in the kitchen on sunday somewhat after nine am. He had slept through his alarm and he needed coffee more than anything. Surprisingly Neil was sitting on the couch with a mug in his hand, his head in his neck staring at the ceiling. He was usually working out at that time of the day or religiously checking exy stats. Neil was the type of person that needed to fill out every second of his day or otherwise he was bored out of his mind. Even on his day off he found ways to entertain himself. Even if he was supposed to rest, he was making pasta from scratch or comparing protein powder reviews. But sitting there and doing nothing? Unusual. Andrew didn’t comment on it in favor for making himself a cup of coffee. 

“Why do we never kiss?”, Neil asked and Andrew nearly poured the coffee all over his hand instead in the mug. He cursed silently. He had banked on Neil’s obliviousness but it seemed that he had finally caught on. Fuck. 

“Why do you ask?”, he reflected the question rather than answering it. He was definitely not answering this question. Ever. Pouring the coffee over his lap suddenly seemed like a better alternative than having this conversation. Maybe he could use that as a distraction. 

"Curious I guess.”, Neil answered. Andrew turned around to see Neil still staring at the ceiling. He took a sip of the coffee and grimaced. He had forgotten to add the milk. He went to the fridge, took the milk carton out and poured some rice milk in his coffee. 

“Close the fridge, you animal.”, Neil said from the couch without turning around. Andrew snorted and closed the fridge after putting the milk back in. 

“So are you going to answer me or do I have to take another turn for that?” 

Andrew rubbed his temples with his free hand. He should have stayed in bed. It was way to early in the morning for this. “We’re not having this conversation right now.” 

“Why not?”, this time Neil turned around to look Andrew in the eyes. Andrew wanted Neil to stop looking at him like that. He turned his back to Neil and busied himself with making breakfast for himself. He briefly considered making pancakes but then remembered that they didn’t have enough flour left. Cereal would make it do then. He had to stand on his tiptoes to grab the bowl at least he was spared of the humiliation of having to climb on the counter. 

“Sometimes it feels like it doesn’t matter what I’m saying since you’ll ignore it anyways.”, Neil remarked from the couch. Andrew went to the fridge to get milk again and left the door on purpose. He poured milk over his cereal and put the milk back in the fridge. 

“If you figured that much out already, why are you still talking?”, Andrew said and slammed the fridge shut. He looked around the room and then hopped on the counter to eat his cereal from there. He’d rather have some distance right now. He tried to ignore Neil’s staring while he was eating but it made his palms sweat and he could feel the tips of his ears turning red. “You’re staring.”, he said in between two bites. “Stop it.”

“If you stop dodging the question, I will.”, Neil answered sounding way too smug. That little fucker probably thought he had the upper hand right now. 

“What’s with the sudden interest, I thought you don’t swing?”, Andrew countered feeling annoyed. It was difficult enough to be gay as it was. He didn’t need Neil running around asking stupid questions that would make Andrew lay awake at three am wondering if he had a chance. 

“I don’t.”, Neil said. “I just don’t see the harm in a kiss.” 

Andrew drank the remaining milk from his bowl and then looked up to Neil. He made eye contact before raising an eyebrow. 

“So do you want me to?”

“What?”, Neil asked and Andrew wanted to groan. It really wasn’t that hard to follow the conversation, was it? 

“Do you want me to kiss you?”, he asked and tried to ignore how his heart fluttered at that. He wasn’t sixteen anymore so there was no reason for him to swoon over the prospect of kissing a cute boy. Not that Josten was that cute. With that cheekbones he was more pretty than anything else. When he saw the look on Neil’s face he knew that he had fucked up. 

“Oh.”, Neil said sitting there like the dumb idiot that he was. Andrew had to fight against the urge to fold his arms in front of chest defensively. “But you don’t like me. I mean- not-” 

“Stop fishing for compliments and just say no, for fuck’s sake.”, Andrew said through gritted teeth. This was exactly the reason why he didn’t want to have this conversation. This was way to real and way to serious. It was not the right time nor the right place, it came out out of nowhere. Like Neil when he had plopped into Andrew’s life and settled there. Nothing had lead up to that moment, Neil hadn’t been different in the last weeks since the incident. He had been on a different cell phone doing calls in something that sounded like polish? bulgarian? an awful lot. He even overheard him talking in japanese on his phone on two occasions. But his behavior towards Andrew had been the same as always. He had been annoying with giving Andrew space to recover but soon had settled back into being a know-it-all once he realised that Andrew was doing okay. It was a regular morning but of course Josten had to fuck that up too. 

He hadn’t noticed that Neil had stood up to walk over to him. Neil scratched the back of his head and then looked Andrew in the eyes. Andrew’s heartbeat was drumming so loudly in his ears that he nearly didn’t hear what Neil said. 

“Ask me again.” 

Andrew’s mouth went dry and he had to force himself not to lick his lips. “Do you want me to kiss you?”, he whispered because he didn’t trust his voice not to crack. And Neil stepped two steps closer to him, now standing in front of him. Since Andrew was still sitting on the counter he was actually taller than Neil in this situation. 

“Yes.”, Neil whispered and closed his eyes. Andrew hesitated before leaning in. After a second thought he settled for a dry peck on Neil’s lips. 

“There.”, he said in a low voice. “No harm done.” 

_Except for me_ , he thought. _But I’m just collateral._

Neil opened his eyes and started pouting. Andrew wanted to squeeze his cheeks and then kiss him again so much in that moment that he had to look away. 

“You asked for a kiss not a make out session and you got it. Now get out of my sight.”, Andrew said after a moment. With Neil still standing in front of him, he couldn’t so easily hop off the counter. And all he wanted to do was go outside for a smoke. 

“What happens if I ask for a make out session?”, Neil asked because he was apparently even more reckless than he was stupid. This time Andrew did reach for Neil to forcefully turn his face away.

“I’m not interested in being someone you can experiment with. Get yourself a hooker for that.”, Andrew said. Since Neil didn’t show the slightest inclination to move Andrew shoved him back to finally get down from the counter. He nearly knocked his half full mug over by doing so. He groped his pockets in screach for his cigarettes.

If he had been eighteen he would have jumped at the chance for any make out session but despite popular opinion, he had actually matured in the last few years. While he sometimes zoned out because he wondered what Neil’s lips would feel on his, he would save himself the heartbreak. Hell, if Neil was a stranger he met in a bar Andrew would already be on his knees. But as things were? He didn’t want this.. _thing_ to be be within reach only for Neil to decide that he didn’t like it after all. He had to think long term. 

“But I’m not interested in anyone but you.”, Neil called after him. 

“You’re confusing proximity with attraction. The whole fake relations-”, Andrew said over his shoulder before something hit his shoulder. It didn’t hurt but he turned around nonetheless. Neil had thrown his slipper at him. Neil was breathing hard and his face was red, like it sometimes got during interviews when he talked himself in a rage. 

“Don’t you dare to tell me what I feel, you shitty fuck.”, he said and actually pointed a finger accusatory at Andrew. “Do you think that shit is easy on me? I never felt this way before so how the fuck am I supposed to know what it means?”

“That’s why I am telling you-” 

“I wasn’t finished talking.”, Neil cut in. “I’m mature enough to know the difference between liking someone and getting used to their presence. And despite you being an absolute dickhead I like you. There.” 

Andrew didn’t know what to say to that. “Is that your way of confessing?”, he asked after a moment just to clarify. “Because that was pretty shit.” 

“Oh fuck off, like you would be any better.”, Neil said his cheeks still glowing red. “I’m still waiting for you answer by the way.” 

“To the make out session or the confession?”, Andrew asked with his eyebrows raised. Neil grinned. His smile actually so wide that it must hurt. It already hurt watching him. 

“To both.” 

“Yes to the first and depending on how good you are, we’ll see about the second one.”, he said and ducked under the other slipper flying his direction. “Rude.” 

“You’re pretty shit at flirting.”, Neil remarked as he slowly walked towards Andrew. Andrew tried to wipe his sweaty palms on his sweats without attracting attention. “And I have you know that I have made out before.” 

“Uhhu.”, Andrew said with the corners of his lips twitching. “And how did that work out for you?” 

Neil tried to shrug nonchalantly and failed horribly. God, Andrew wanted to kiss him so badly. “They weren’t you.”, he answered. “So are we going to make out or what?” 

Andrew wanted to tell Neil that he wasn’t any better at flirting but decided that kissing was a better option of shutting him up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


End file.
